Anxiety and Depression Support
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going the distance?

As of very recently, my partner is considering taking a job in another state (I live in the US) He will be traveling a lot and I'm still in school. We've decided that if he takes the job, we'll do long distance. It's not that far away, the next state over, but with traveling we may be dealing with international distance as well. Feeling torn between validating my own fears about the distance and how it will affect the relationship and my own mental health and being a good and supportive partner.

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I'm sorry about your fears of long distance relationships. It's different for everyone. so all I can say is...do your best...and if your okay and happy with what the two of you work out to stay in touch....that's good....but if you find out somewhere down the road it's not what you want ....then deal with that only if it presents itself...you don't know what the future will bring....and it can always surprise you in a good way.

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My partner is military, we're currently going through a very long deployment...distance sucks and we have no option to visit on weekends or holidays. I can say I have talked to A LOT of military spouses/partners who have been through anywhere from 3-14month deployments and others who have dealt with overseas posts where they chose to stay behind for a couple years while their partner went to spain or japan etc. It IS doable. I've met the people who have made it work.

I honestly think you can be supportive and still have fears. I support my partner 100%, this is great for his career. However, I also think the distance sucks, and he knows I also think that. I wouldn't want him to not go, I am proud of him and support him 100% and he knows that, but I don't hide if it's difficult or if I'm anxious or anything that I am feeling from him. I think the most important thing about making the long distance work is keeping the communication open and honest. Quite frankly there's lots of days he thinks the distance sucks and he wants to be home too and I have to remind him of all the reasons he's doing it and I'm supporting him. I think you'll find it'll be OK, even if sometimes distance sucks.

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