Hello

[Jewels907]

I'm new here !

Hello ....

Feeling lost in a big city.

[Agora1]

Hi Jewels907 Welcome to the Support forum...You may feel lost in a big city but know that you will feel safe and comfortable with our family forum. It is a place you will come in knowing we understand and we care. Sharing your life's journey with anxiety as we share our stories will help you not feel so alone. Looking forward to hearing more about what brings you here. Stay Positive my new friend. xx

[Jewels907 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you !

One day I'm a mess the next life is grand? Sometimes I feel like money isn't everything maybe I should go to where my kids and grandkids are ? I just know that won't make me happy either !

At least here I make heat money I have a great boyfriend but , I'm affraid of a relationship so he gets nerves about that!

I keep thinking if I died I wonder how long it would be before someone noticed .....

[Agora1 in reply to Jewels907]

Well we know Jewels907 that money can't by happiness especially if we are doubtful of what we are really looking for in life. Lot of trust issues going on I'd say. Once the rug has been pulled out from under us, it's hard to know what constitutes us being happy again. Kids, grandkids and a great boyfriend don't seem to convince you that you are lucky to have that in your life.

And if you died why would you think no one would notice the void in their lives. Everyone on this plant, has a reason for being here. Sometimes we don't know what an impact we make on someone's life. You do need to reach out to those you love, you may be quite surprised at how complete you will feel. It's not fair to you, your family or your bf to hold back expressing your emotions.

You may have been deeply hurt, even scarred the first time around but don't let it ruin living out the rest of your life. Pushing away any chance of happiness can turn into a sad and lonely life. I hope you reconsider your options out there. You are a very lucky woman. xx

[Jewels907]

Mmm yes ....I know but ,it's easier said than done. I don't know why I feel this way? I've moved across the country 4 times ...

Oregon to Wis. Thinking life would be better there ! Then we my x and all of us packed up sold the house and moved to Wis. married for 15 years ... then

When I felt we were falling apart I started traveling for months at a time in the winter. All over the world taking my kids here and there to different countries.

Still not happy so when the last one graduated I left Wis.

My daughter wanted me in Colorado but I'm not the good granny type ....

So I moved here to ATL. 3 years ago ! Still not happy

I visit Colorado every 6 weeks

I don't know if I can ever let me be happy. I think I've always had issues. ????

[Agora1]

Hi Jewels, have you ever been to a therapist to find out why you do feel this way? Something in you is not allowing you to be happy with yourself and you keep hoping you will find it by moving around. The thing is we can't escape our own thoughts. This issue needs to be addressed. Is it bipolar, depression or one of many other disorders. Only a professional can tell you. xx

[Jewels907 in reply to Agora1]

I've seen a shrink as a kid my father took me. He thought I was

Schizophrenic lol he was a cop and a little paranoid ! I saw a psychiatrist here and he said I'm a survivor and need theory I just stopped going because he wanted to put me on mess too !

I don't like the idea of being in pills to survive.

I know I should go see a theorist

I just haven't got around to finding one I like yet !

[Agora1 in reply to Jewels907]

I hear you and respect your decision in not wanting to be on pills. Once you get settled in you can find a therapist. Meanwhile, we are here 24/7. There's always someone to talk to. My best to you Jewels. Goodnight xx