I’m hurting pretty bad.

[ckw1]

My anxiety has really been beating up on me the past few days. I haven’t been able to sleep more than a few hours last night and I haven’t eaten in a couple of days because I don’t have an appetite and when I try to eat something small my stomach ends up hurting. These past few days have been some of the worst that I can remember as far as my anxiety is concerned. I really just want it to stop and I’m getting desperate to find some relief. My mind keeps racing and making up insane scenarios and I can’t seem to find a way to stop it from happening. I know that I need to stop this way of thinking because it just leads to more anxiety and depression, but it seems like it has gone on for too long and now it’s out of control. I’m a husband and father and I have way too much to live for but I can’t handle this much longer. Looking for some advice or just someone who understands and is willing to talk because I’m scared I’ve run out of options on what to do to handle this.

[leah_0600]

Hello, have you tried going to your GP and telling them what you’ve said here? So sorry you’re feeling this way. I have been there before. Anxiety and depression are the worst! I hope you start to feel better soon. Are you on any medication? Could you get that reviewed by your GP? Here to chat if you need it

[ckw1 in reply to leah_0600]

Yeah I have been to the doctors and counselors before and every time I go I hear the same thing and I feel like I know exactly what they are going to say before they tell me. I’ve tried medication and it really helped for a few years until I got acclimated to it. I was never able to find another medication that worked for me. Most of the time I can use meditation or breathing techniques or journaling but when it gets bad none of that seems to help.

[ResaLux]

I have been there, exactly where you are. You are not alone. I have found some things that help, try taking a walk. I know its hard and I know you dont want to but do it. Work out so hard that you make yourself tired. I have cut out all sugar and white flour and it has been helping but that will take a few weeks for you to feel it. I have been taking vitamins and cut out alcohol too. Its not easy but it has been helping. You are not alone. Make that your mantra.

[ckw1 in reply to ResaLux]

Yes I know what I have to do just trying to find the motivation is the hardest part. I don’t remember ever having this much of a problem getting out of my funk. Seems I’ve hit a new low and I can’t figure out why

[ResaLux in reply to ckw1]

I know, its the worst. I know how hard it can be when your mind is your worst enemy. I always try to start with little things. A little but if progress is still progress. Try funny videos or a show. If you can get out of your own mind and get yourself to laugh, that's progress

[ckw1 in reply to ResaLux]

Well I’ve found the strength to actually get dressed and leave the house. I️ made it to the store and it took my mind off the problems for just a moment.

[ResaLux in reply to ckw1]

That is a great start.

[ckw1 in reply to ResaLux]

Well it started out okay but now I️ feel like I’m right back where I️ started yesterday. Sometimes this battle feels so hopeless and lost. I️ can’t get my head straight and start to untangle these screwed up thoughts.

[ckw1 in reply to ckw1]

So I️ found the strength and motivation to get outside a actually go for a run. I️ ran five miles and I was moving at a really good pace. I️ felt good, I️ was feeling like I️ was outrunning the anxiety and worries. But it was not so everything was just nipping at my heels because when I️ got home it hit me like a ton of bricks and it all came rushing back. I️ don’t get it, this isn’t how it’s supposed to work. That was kinda my last ditch effort, I️ don’t know where to turn now. 🙁

[ResaLux in reply to ckw1]

just keep doing that. even. even if you can make it stop for just a few minutes, thats where you start. then next time try to last longer. i know its hard. its hard for me too and today isnt a good day for me, but tomorrow will be and it will be for you too

[ckw1 in reply to ResaLux]

Thank you. I will keep trying to keep my head up. Hang in there yourself, better days are ahead.

[ResaLux in reply to ckw1]

Hey buddie, hows it going?

[ckw1 in reply to ResaLux]

Hey there, thanks for asking. Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I’m still not doing that great. I’m not experiencing as much anxiety today but I’m still not 100%. Feeling very depressed right now and I don’t have much ambition for life.

[ResaLux in reply to ckw1]

Hang in there. Thoughts and feelings are just visitors. Let them come and let them go. Im sending positive vibes your way

[Haley7]

Hi

I'm sorry for your anxiety and the pain it brings. I have been going thru this all of my life and the older I get the more aware I am of how it is effecting me and it just makes me hyper sensitive to everything. People just don't understand. That is the hard part. I've tried so many meds and I do good for awhile and then for no reason it rears its ugly head. I always view myself as different than others. I am always in my head. I think that is the worst thing that keeps us from moving on. The more I dwell and think about it, the worse it gets because I can't move forward. I literally feel stuck, like I will never have a normal, healthy, enriched life. I mean no one really sees it. I don't want to bring other people down. My kids are grown and gone. I know how difficult it can be with kids still home and the responsibility you have on top of trying to take care of you.

I am 54 and recently started having these mini panic attacks. I've never had them before. I don't know where they are coming from. I am on Zoloft now for that.

I am fortunate to have a GP that is very kind and supportive and doesn't make me feel like I'm going crazy when I go to see her all the time.

I take 300mg of Wellbutrin a day for depression. (This is a good drug for me). It is the one constant that keeps my depression in check.

I take 50mg of Zoloft at bed for the anxiety

And then I have Clonopin/Klonzapam

.5mg which I take when I get that overwhelming feeling like I'm going to panic. I only allow myself to take it once a day because I really don't like being on meds. Some days I don't need it.

Maybe the Clonazapam would be something that could help you for those times. My counselor does help, I just can't seem to be consistent in going, cuz I'm anxious or not in the mood.

So I know this was long and maybe too much info but some times it helps to see exactly what others are dealing with. Instead of me just saying, I know how you feel.

I truly try to accept myself for who I am, and know that I am the only one that can change my "perspective" on things.

I try to be thankful for all the blessings that I do have in my life, and I did the best I could as a parent to not expose my kids to my pain. They turned out just fine. Hang in there. And try to stay out of your head (stop thinking about it all the time)! Sometimes we can be our "own" worst enemy.

[ckw1 in reply to Haley7]

Thank you for your words of advice. It’s helpful sometimes just to know that there are other people going through the same thing as me. It kinda helps to make it seem that I’m not loosing my mind.

I️ was on Effexor for years until I️ reached the maximum allowable dosage and it had stopped working. I️ tried other medications after that but nothing else seemed to help and the side effects weren’t worth it.

Another issue I️ have is that I️ live in a rural area so there is not a lot of options for doctors or counseling. I️ have been to counseling in the past and I’m seriously considering going back even though there is a good chance of running into someone who you know. I️ guess I️ just need to get over the that and just go.

Thanks again for your support. Good luck.

[Haley7]

Going to counseling is tough. I don't really care if I run into someone I know because everyone has problems. Some worse than others. The fact that you have gone and are thinking about going back says a lot about you. It's very hard to talk about yourself and hear some truths from your counselor, cry some etc, but I must say that I always, always feel better when I leave. Getting the right counselor is like getting the right Med. You can't stop if you don't like him/her. You have to look for someone that works for "you" Make the call. Just talking to you, I am going to do the same and go back. I have been putting it off! See you helped me as well. Thank you.

So I would ask your dr to try other meds. There are so many out there! Until you find something that helps you.

Good luck

[ckw1 in reply to Haley7]

You are right, I️ have been to counseling on several different occasions. Some of them I’ve had great success and we were a good match. The last time I️ went my counselor and me were a terrible fit and I️ got really discouraged. I️ guess I️ need to try again.

[Hidden]

It pains me to see and hear that there’re so many people out there who are feeling lost and helpless. So many of us would do anything to get ourselves out of this dark place if we could. We’ve gone to great lengths to try and relieve ourselves of this pain and yet this empty hole in our hearts is still as deep and scarred as before. If I could with the snap of my finger heal all of us I’d do it, hell we all would. So far the only thing we can do is find comfort in communicating with each other and do the best we can with what we got and leave the rest that’s out of our control to the universe or god. You are a good father not a perfect one but good enough and you know it. Anxiety is so hard to live with as I suffer from it too. Just know that if you could control your anxiety you wouldn’t be here on this site asking for help. Anxiety makes us feel like everything is our fault. One bad day can go downhill fast and create a snowball. We know that we are good human beings at the heart, but because anxiety makes us feel all of these bad sensations we feel like we are bad people or not good enough because we can’t seem to control our symptoms. Anxiety can be managed Depending on your “situation“ i believe, though you will have some bad days. Right now I’m trying to find some coping strategies so until I do find them just know that it’s not your fault and that how you feel is totally the way you should feel when your having anxiety attacks. Best of luck!

[IChoose]

It sounds like a brief dosing of medication could help you to get centered again. It would stop the racing out of control thoughts. I read your replies and note that you've had difficulties with building up tolerances to medications. If you've been off meds for a while you might be able to start a brief dosage. If any of this is substance/alcohol related you may need medication to get you past this episode. My experience is alcohol will make you worse. Also stop the caffeine. Try to get enough exercise to release those good feeling endorphins. If you are going through a life event, stress or crisis that has triggered your symptoms then try to expand your support network however you can, including therapy. So glad you're not trying to go it alone and that you reached out. You have insight. Start finding healthy ways of rewarding yourself for any good thing you do.