Mom guilt

[shellgg]

I never feel good on the weekends either because I don't have my son or I do have my son. I feel like a failure in so many areas. He prefers his dad over me. I've been told I'm no good by too many people in my life. I have a wonderful man now that always tells me how wonderful I am. But I still feel guilty about almost everything in my life. I feel guilty that I'm not happy right now. I feel guilty that I have a coffee addiction. I feel guilty because my house is a mess even tho I try to keep up with it. The list goes on and on.

[Hidden]

Shellgg, I am sorry that you are going through this experience. It can be very difficult when we look at everything around us, and we see only failure on our part.

Try to believe your man friend when he tells you that you are wonderful. Try to find something about yourself that you know is unique and special. Everyone has a gift. Everyone.

I'm sure you have a lot of conflict about your son. I went through this same experience after I ended my first marriage when my son was 10 years old. My ex had told my son a lot of horrible things about me, and so my son was very conflicted about our own relationship.

However, today we are very close friends (he is 42).

I found it to be very important that when I had my visits with my son that our time together was meaningful, and I tried to let him know how much I cared about him and loved him. That's about all you can do when your child chooses the other parent over you.

I'm not familiar with having a coffee addiction, but I do tend to drink way, way too many diet colas. However, I've switched to drinks that do not have caffeine, at least for part of the day.

Right now, it's just my husband and me in our house, but I still become easily overwhelmed with housework. I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety today because it seems like I have so much to do, but in reality, I don't have a deadline to get anything done. When my husband is home, he is happy to help me out, and I feel blessed to have someone who is understanding. He knows and he sees how hard I try. Instead of focusing on the whole house, sometimes just cleaning one room can be helpful.

Hopefully, being part of this group will prove to be helpful for you, Shellgg. I'm pretty new here, but I'm trying to get involved by reading as many of the posts as possible, and replying when I can, when I think I might have something to say that will be supportive, if not helpful.

I hope the rest of your weekend goes well.

Bright Blessings to You!

[shellgg]

Thanks a lot. I think a lot of it has to do with that I have an almost 4 year old boy with a lot of energy and he really needs a man in my house because my energy just doesn't match his and than I feel guilty. He has his dad but we are split so it's just us when he's with me except the brief time that my boyfriend comes to play with him. All my exes have treated me like dirt and I still have to hear horrible things from my sons dad. My boyfriend now (we were together from 13-17) is the only man that's ever treated me like I'm worthy. My dad always tells me how bad of a mother I am (I know that I'm far from a bad mother but it still hurts), my mom always tells me how she doesn't know how I live like this (the mess in my house is not up to her standards). I need to do something to increase my self esteem. But I'm hurting so bad.

Thank you so much for your reply and listening. We seem sort of similar with our anxiety.

[shellgg]

Oh and I'm 37