I would like to share this short blog I wrote recently as it made me realize the true price of anxiety.
SOCIAL ANXIETY...how much is it costing you?
Back in the day when my health was in the rut and my anxiety was through the roof, I became a hermit. All I felt 'safe' doing was retrieving into my house and sitting outside in the back yard. And even then I was not really safe from my own thoughts.
I had to cancel an annual trip with my close friends that I was very much looking forward to. I avoided any social events like a plague. Thinking about going to lunch with somebody would make my heart race. I would have a hard time sleeping if I knew I had to share a ride with somebody the next day.
Any way I could find, I would wiggle myself out of every possible situation where I had to interact, talk, look somebody in the eye or otherwise be vulnerable and risk a chance of having an anxiety episode in public.
Did I manage to avoid public humiliation? Perhaps. Did I pretend enough to appear normal? Maybe. How much did I miss out on in my life during that time? Let's take a look.
I missed out on making memories that last a lifetime. I missed out on valuable networking opportunities that would have been valuable for my career. I missed on connecting, sharing laughs, telling stories and building lasting relationships. I missed out on moments that cannot be brought back.
Be truthful with yourself. What is the real cost of your anxiety?
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Real price anyone with anxiety or depression or any other illness that draws you away from having a normal life is something that cannot be measured.
How so?
You mentioned few points that only makes the tip of the iceberg. There is also another side of it... yourself.
Count all the times you have locked yourself in your mind prison... in that thought process that makes you different and not normal like most other people.
It becomes a sad place that is both your solitude and your place of torture. That is right... we do torture ourselves when we thing about whatever affects us. Sometimes even draw ourselves to the point of causing harm to others or oneself.
It affects not only us but people close to us as well. It hurts them to see us hurting, suffering, driving everyone away... leaves scars that destroys a lot in their wake; relationships, career.
Whatever it makes us do... it cannot be taken back. Broken relations, bad memories, nightmares... broken person. There is no actual fix for it.
It can be easily said that the price we pay is a debt that is paid by lives... of oneself and of people close to us.
Love this! So true. Especially when locked in the prison of your own mind. People close to you see your suffering and want to help but they just don't know how.
The cost is enormous. It changed the course of my entire life, just managing thes symptoms and making choices based on what I could do without provoking too much anxiety. At 60, I look back and the losses are staggering.
Yet I also look back and see that I never gave up, that I met some wonderful people I wouldn't trade for the world, that I had adventures and love and a beautiful daughter. I found the things I was best at and did them, and when I wasn't good at something, I tried to double my efforts or try something else. I am blessed with a good life.
So yes, my anxiety cost me the life I expected and wanted, as it hit my with all its force at age 20, right when I needed to start making my way in the world. My 20s were my hardest years, because I didn't understand what was happening to me. I thought I was insane. And I felt like a loser as I saw my friends move ahead with careers, marriage, and ife in general, while I stumbled.
But I'm stubborn. There were plenty of times I wanted to give up, when I had heartbreak, great disappointment, embarrassment, and failures. I just kept thinking of that Winston Churchill expression, "Never, ever, ever, ever give up." He had depression, called it "the little black dog."
Now I ask myself, my friends who have "accomplished" so much more than me in the eyes of the world ... could they have kept going the way I have? Maybe some, but it takes a lot of courage and being really tough to do what we do. It's so much easier to "succeed" when you have no symptoms to deal with. Besides. How do I know that my life hasn't caused as many wonderful ripples in the pond as theirs? Maybe I have made just as much of an impact on this earth. Who's to say?
So yes, your anxiety will cost you. That's incredibly painful and important to get out of your system and acknowledge. But then get creative and carve out a beautiful life based on what you can do. You have a purpose on this earth, and that purpose is good. Do something helpful for this world, no matter how small. You never know the difference you might make. And it will make you feel good.
No, you may not be exactly like "everyone else," but it's a fact we're all just passing through. It's not terrible to be different. In fact, maybe it's good not to be a sheep. This is your time, your experience. You are not your illness or your symptoms. Find and honor your authentic self and insist on recognizing it every day. Make the most of it. And remember, never, ever, ever, ever, EVER give up!
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