It's like a circle..

[Rb0311]

I am so sick of good and bad days I don't expect good all the time no but I don't want bad to be majority anymore. I have had a good afternoon dinner with youngest, planted flowers, cleaned up outside some I should be good both my boys are home we have a roof over our head but no I find myself in a fountain of tears out of nowhere my thoughts get darker and darker everyday.. I stopped by my moms office earlier my son and I drew a big picture on her white board and my thoughts when I signed it love me was if I didn't make it through this weekend that my mom would never erase this I know her... I am so tired of this anyone have any suggestions...

[Shutterfly]

I know it's hard to live through the good day bad day cycle with depression. Never give up on yourself.

I'm not sure how good advice that is.

But it's what I tell myself.

I'll be at work tomorrow all day so I hope you get some time outside cause nature is so soothing.

[Rb0311 in reply to Shutterfly]

Thank you I did get outside some today I went to the store for my mom this evening I have one day a week without my boys that I have alone and I can't stay inside I have done that so many nights.. I use to be a runner until I broke my tailbone and just lost it after that I do miss it but I can't run still. Divorce, surgery ect don't make a good combo... a

[Shutterfly in reply to Rb0311]

I worked till 9 tonight. I did manage to get a bit of time outside cause I walked home. I missed most of the sunset but I still saw the coloured clouds. Where I live there are animals like deer and rabbits walking around in late evening but for the first tonight two raccoons.

There was no one home when I got home so I turned on my phone and play my current favourite songs and had a sing and dance party....Best part of being home alone is you can dance like no one is watching and sing like no can hear you.

That last part being key for me cause I'm still learning the lyrics to these songs.

I'm hoping that my good days start to increase slowly the bad days really make studying for school hard. I choose to go back to school after 11 years and it's been hasn't been easy and he's increased my anxiety. On top of that being single and never married in my mid 30s has caused me to feel alone depressed.

[Rb0311 in reply to Shutterfly]

Singing and dancing yes I have caught myself doing that as well... I think it's awesome your going back to school it takes courage but I think the older you are the easier I am sure you will be fine. Animals are my distraction btw I love on several acers (40) so I see a lot...

[Shutterfly in reply to Rb0311]

How was your Sunday?

[mysmugcat]

I completely understand. Please don't give up.

[Kobojunkie]

Please call and find yourself a very good psychiatrist who will listen, diagnose and explain to you what and.why you feel the way you do; a psychiatrist who will put you on a treatment plan that not only helps alleviate your pain but gets you the energy you need to finally fight your inner demons- the negative ideas and thoughts that have followed and haunted you for so long.

Living shouldn't be a cycle of good and bad days. It should be filled with days so good and days just good enough for you to look forward to tomorrow.

[kitty2017]

There is nothing good or bad. It's all your perception in the brain. If things are bad after you try hard or gave 100% - let it go. If things are good, be content and let it go. Stay neutral. Then these circumstances will not affect you as much.

I don't understand why people here suggest meds right away. Unless there is a chemical imbalance - as shown in blood test/CT scan or something - there is no need to jump on taking meds. Brain chemistry is so delicate - any interference with meds can damage it for good and then there is no going back. I have seen many here addicted on meds -- without any proper blood test/CT scan test ... if something is really wrong with your brain - yes u wud end up in a psychiatric facility. But if u can wake up, go to work, eat and sleep and drive ... then focus on other techniques - counseling, meditation, deep breathing