Hi everyone!

Hi, I'm a 37 year old mother of 3. I have extreme anxiety and depression. I need to have a outlet other than my husband. He has a hard time understanding my day to day feelings. I feel alone.

[BonnieSue]

You are so very very not alone at all!! There are so many women exactly where you are! Can you try to find an online stay-at-home-mom's-group? Google what I just wrote and look over the groups that show up. See if you like what you see with the 1st try and keep looking until you connect with a group you like. It's the individual women that will determine whether you like a certain group or not.

It's not fair to expect the husbands to understand you or vice versa. But don't get me wrong...you may end up being the one he talks to about his day at work, IF he's allowed to talk about it outside of work at all. But you can connect with other stay-at-home-moms in similar circumstances during the day and have a good bit of your needs met and then be ready to listen to your hubby by the time he gets home! A win-win situation!

Your anxiety and depression should be addressed by a doctor if they haven't been already. Are you on any medications? Are you in therapy or counseling? Both are required for good health. I hope you've looked over both of these needs. It would really be great if you find a mom or 2 who also have anxiety and depression online. You just might find that, too. Just maybe not right away. I wish you great success in finding all of the things you need to be healthy and happy once again.

[Hidden in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you, I am seeing a therapist and nurse practitioner. My husband gets overwhelmed with me. It can be rough. I have mood swings. I am going to speak with my therapist about finding a group near me. I'm trying to understand everything that is happening to me. I'm glad I'm not alone. I don't have any support than my husband and I need an outlet.

[Dpeterson]

You're not alone. We're all here.

[Hidden in reply to Dpeterson]

Thank you, that's nice to hear. I appreciate it.

[Enirma]

You are not alone. I am also a mother of three and have anxiety and panic attacks. If you need someone to talk to who will understand, I am here.

[Hidden in reply to Enirma]

Thank you for being so kind, I appreciate that.

[BonnieSue]

And please do look up and at least see about the moms groups I know are available to you. No way are you any different than thousands of other stay at home moms. Only with computers today you moms don't have to be so isolated as we of the past were.

I got fortunate for a few years and had neighbors that we grouped together and wached our kids outside together in pools of water and let them play together and we talked with each other. Because when they're really young you can't get much done while the kids are awake if you have 2 or more of them...as you know!!!

Jealous neighbors whose kids were a lot older tried to end our group play sessions by saying the water was bad for the grass but a florist neighbor said some dish soap in the water was actually beneficial to the plants and flowers and they used it at the florist. WHEW!! Shut the complainers right up! Evidently the soap with the water killed all soft bodied insects. And probably helped in more ways.

[Hidden in reply to BonnieSue]

I will definitely look into some groups around me. I have a hard time trusting new people because of my childhood. I was physically and verbally abused. And I was lied to constantly. My parents sent me a therapist when I was younger but it didn't help with my pain. This leading to my emotional intense episodes. I know I have a rough road ahead of me, and I know I will be stronger because of it. I just need someone to listen to me.

[BonnieSue in reply to Hidden]

I don't mind listening but maybe because I'm not currently a mom with young ones I'm not such a prized listener. But, still, don't you think we on the internet have a distance between us? It's kind of a buffer for you? We aren't looking each other in the eye or that kind of closeness? And you don't have to reveal things that are too close for you and make you feel uncomfortable. You can determine the level of closeness you want. People catch on fairly quickly to what you're comfortable with. And accept.

I've always gone along with the other person's level of comfort when I talk with someone. I can tell what their borders or limits are even if they don't outright say them. And there's nothing wrong with having limits. Actually there's a lot RIGHT with having them. Don't sell yourself short just because you have boundaries that might be different than many other peoples'. And if you ever would say why you have them I think many people would respect that. And if some wouldn't, too bad for them. What are they going to do?

Nope, can't see much of a problem. You type your answers, how hard is it to maintain control? Am I missing something? Your comfort level maybe?

[BonnieSue in reply to Hidden]

I should have said right off...I'm very sorry that you were so abused and used. So very sorry to learn this. I wish I could take this away and it never happened. I can't understand the hugeness of your pain and suffering. I should have said this right away but I didn't. Of course you had emotionally intense episodes. Of course you are cautious anytime you might come close to feeling that pain and any emotion close to these caused by these experiences. I can't begin to understand. I hope you will know some level of healing to bring you to a better place with these awful experiences.

[Hidden in reply to BonnieSue]

Your kind words are greatly appreciated. I used to have a hard time admitting what I have been through. It's definitely made me stronger. But it feels better to express it. Hiding it won't help me.

[BonnieSue in reply to Hidden]

You are brave to expect to face these emotions and become stronger for that. No doubt you will. But you know it won't be pleasant or easy and I admire you for it. You might want to look for a therapist who specializes in this type of therapy. Possibly you might find one if you search on the website Psychology Today which has photos of therapists and psychiatrists who list their specialties among other things like their education and fees and other details like insurance accepted and so forth. Possibly there is one in your area who specializes in the field you need.

[Hidden in reply to BonnieSue]

I have been seeing a therapist for a little over a year, and it does help. But I feel I need to find someone who is familiar with my symptoms.

[BonnieSue in reply to Hidden]

How is the current one not familiar with your symptoms?

[TAPNewEngland]

I'm a father of two and primary caregiver with anxiety. This is a good outlet for you. My wife doesn't really understand either so I try to use this forum to help others.