Anxiety

[Bren22]

Hello,

I'm a sixty-seven year old woman. Over the last few years I seem to have ever increasing anxiety attacks that come out of no where. I do have some health issues. I down and compare myself to others and wonder why I'm this way!

[Bren22]

I can't shake the thought of death all the time. I lost my dad mother and brother all in a very short time and my son to suicide. Sometimes I wonder why do anything you're just gonna die anyway. I hate these thoughts, but can't shake the dread I feel. I do take citalopram.

[rubyred777]

Hi Bren, I can see why you would be depressed. Are you by yourself? I'm not a good one to help you, as I'm suffering from anxiety and depression myself. So talking to you and myself, I would say get out and take some yoga classes or something. Keep busy. I can't help thinking, why bother? I know what's right to do, but can't seem to give myself a boost to do it. Sorry, I'm not much help! Maybe someone else will come along and help us both! Ruby🌹

[Bren22 in reply to rubyred777]

Kinda sounds like the thoughts I get. It does help just to know someone else feels this way and I'm not crazy!

[BonnieSue]

How long have you been on your antidepressant? It usually takes 4-6 weeks to get it adjusted and working for you. You know it's not enough right now but I don't know where you are in this process of getting you an effective dose. Are you on anything specifically for anxiety? That's an option you may want to look at.

You can feel better and you will with the right help, so don't give up. It just takes a little more time. I have anxiety and depression but I feel great. I'm on medicine for both. For the last 29 years I've been mostly fine due to meds and counseling. Do you have a good counselor? That's an important part of learning how to manage your problems and medications.

With a good counselor you'll also learn how to focus on other things besides the negatives. When you feel much better you'll not want to think so much about your loved ones' deaths. You'll naturally focus more on your life and how you want to live it. You'll learn coping methods that help you to do this. It won't mean you've stopped caring about them, just that you're more engaged in the business of living your life and enjoying the positives.

When you compare yourself to others and wonder why you're this way, tell yourself that it's because you are clinically depressed and need an antidepressant and possibly an anti-anxiety med in order to become more normal with your emotions. Anyone who has lost so many close relatives would probably have the same reaction that you have had. It's a tough thing to live through. But you are getting help and you are close to getting what you need. Just remember to get your meds adjusted as I recommended and to get into counseling. Things should improve for you soon.

[Bren22 in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you for responding. I do take 40 mg of citalopram daily and have for about three years. I now also take 50 mg of Trazodone before bed. I have clonazopram to take as needed, but try not to take,because I am afraid of becoming dependent on it.

I have considered counseling. I have a few health issues and seems when they become active I really become pre occupied with these negative feelings. They just seem to come on out of the blue and it takes awhile to shake them.

When I am feeling well , I can somewhat control some of it.

Thank you for your help,

[BonnieSue in reply to Bren22]

You may become dependent on clonazepam if you take it regularly but you will be able to function without any surprise anxiety attacks. Is it worth it? That's the question for you to consider. I've been on it or a similar drug for 29 years and I am glad I'm in control and not the anxiety. The only price I've paid is that my long term and short term memories have some holes in them. I consider that price well worth it. I wouldn't be able to function without the drugs.

[sweetiepye]

Hello Brenn, Here is my rhyme ,,,, hello anxiety my old friend, here you are to torture me again. It seems like whenever I get things under control I'll get a little bite in the butt just to let me know I have to stay vigilante . Anxiety is tricky. On to death, I use to fear it, but 3 yrs. ago I held my younger brother as he died from cancer . He had put up a brilliant fight but his body was shutting down. He couldn't talk by this time so I did. I talked about our childhood and how good he was, things that were only important to us. I told him to go and suddenly his body stilled and a vaporous sort of mist formed around him, stayed a few seconds and slowly dissipated. It was beautiful and peaceful, and when I looked at him he wasn't there' Just the shell he had lived in. I felt so blessed to have seen this. I know he went somewhere and continues on in some form. Sounds absolutely crazy doesn't it. Well I don't try to explain it,I just say this it has profoundly changed me, given me peace, and taken away my fear of death. Why do we keep on when we know we're going to die in the end. Faith, as an example to others,I'm sure there are as many reasons as there are people . But you will be happier if you don't give up. Pam

[Bren22 in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you, I really appreciate your response. It's strange how it comes on out of the blue.

But I will try to use what you ave said!

[Bren22 in reply to Bren22]

You gave a very beautiful and touching description of your brothers passing. Wonderful that you could comfort and experience that with him!

God bless!

[rubyred777 in reply to sweetiepye]

Brilliant reply,Sweetiepye! You guys all talk well of antidepressants. I can't take them. They make me worse! What an amazing experience with your brother. You're so lucky to have had that special time with him. Ruby🌹 sweetiepye

[sweetiepye in reply to rubyred777]

Ruby, have you ever tried tranquilizers ? Anti-depressants have to built up in your system then you take them every day. Tranquilizers you take when you start to feel anxious and they calm you in 15/20 minutes. Valium is what I took and it worked very well for me, but it's something you have to talk to your Doctor about. Pam

[rubyred777 in reply to sweetiepye]

Hi Pam, I do take xanax. Guess they are very similar to valium. You have a very good attitude. I envy you! Ruby🌹

[Morganax]

Sweetypie that was so thoughtful, beautifully written and inspired me🌸💕💕

[sweetiepye]

I don't share my brothers passing very often, but when I feel it will give someone peace I am happy to. Pam

[laurakingsurrey in reply to sweetiepye]

I fear death because I saw my stepdad die of cancer. It's interesting it's done the reverse for you. Any advice? I too did some talking but the whole thing was very scary and grim d

[sweetiepye in reply to laurakingsurrey]

I wanted my brothers death to be as peaceful and as easy as I could make it, and holding him and talking about our years together and laughing was normal for us anyway and so it was easy for him to slip out of his body. His essence floated off and disappeared, and his body was just a shell . Because I saw him leave his body I knew he was going somewhere and I would see him again. My depression is from missing him so much. I don't believe death is the end. Do some reading on people who have been clinically dead and then came back. It might help your fear. Pam

[TAPNewEngland]

Hi Bren22, have you considered a life coach? They can help you deal with your current stage in life and how to come to grips with it and help manage it. Try therapy too (if you haven't done so).

[Bren22]

Thank you, I am thinking about that!