Good morning all, I trust everyone continues this gruelling uphill climb and forward march against APC!
We have had some challenging last few months. Hubby has been in and out of the hospital. Cancer has metastasized to the liver (“severe multiple lesions”) and several more boney sights.
Pain, nausea and vomiting seem so challenging to manage. He has no appetite, loosing weight/body mass like crazy. (37 lbs in past 3 months). Some days he is afraid to drink fluids, that worries me a lot. (Concerned about his kidneys)
He is on Fentanyl 50 mcg with MsO4 15 mg for breakthrough pain. (He sometimes uses oxy 5/325) He is on Tigan and Zofran for nausea. (which helps if he takes them).
I hope we can get get a PICC Line in very soon so he remains hydrated at home. He hates hospitals and I much rather care for him at home.
This past weekend I almost cried (well I did) begging him to drink so they don’t admit him. Thank God I made my own electrolyte drink (Himalayan sea salt and organic maple syrup and soft water) and also used fresh coconut water!!!!! Who speaks against Nautre’s Remidies? His chemistry was ok when we walked into Oncology on monday morning.
They will hold off all treatment until nausea and vomiting subside. I am so grateful for our travels last year...Tobago January, where he performed the wedding for one of his much beloved nieces... Brazil-Venezuela-Guyana early summer and then Bermuda for his birthday in November. Oh did we have fun in Bermuda!!!! He had so much energy. I brought so much reading material because I thought we would mostly stay in. (Caregivers will appreciate how tired one can be). He said I am the one one with Cancer come on wake up, let’s go!!!!
I look at him with such sadness in my heart. He worries about financiers and my future. He says you are so kind, you’ll give everything away. I don’t want you to be homeless! He said don’t let the children put you in a Nuraing Home. He is so worried about my future even as I try to assure him I will be ok, relatively speaking.
I was hoping to retire next month. I tell him not to worry, my health is pretty ok and I think if nothing changes, I can go for another 10 years working, if I really had to. That’s out the window now. We are still paying for our home. I have encouraged him to sell but it’s his pride. The home he bought for his family...the driveway which still holds his two classic cars...a Mercury Marquis ‘84 and a Pontiac Bonneville Borougham ‘84. And oh his garage which I have invaded... guilty of robbing him of some of his sacred storage space. ( I host an annual Communiy Health Fair in our Neighborhood Park. We offer screenings and preventative health classes... vegan cooking classes, massages, hydrotherapy etc) I store my stage and other equipment I usually use for the event in the garage.
After all this rambling, I say to you champions, keep fighting. Take time to enjoy life. Do the things you always wanted to do and never took the time to do. Don’t worry about too much, things usually fall into place.
I have found family and friendship on this site. Your knowledge, wisdom and love has kept us going. We hope for the best and keep looking for the path to trod on.
Be well all... thank you.
P&P
Written by
KingRasP
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My prayers for you are that you continue to have the strength to make it through it all. You are a wonderful caregiver. Remember you are not alone. A hug to you🙏💚
Thanks for your empathy Chiquis. Thanks for your vote of confidence!
We celebrated our 41st anniversary on March 15th, only eternity seems longer than that. He was first the heart caregiver, caring for me through 2 bouts of Cancer and 1 plus years of paralysis. A great husband and father, who defended his family with all honor! He is the giant whose shoulder we (our two children and I) climbed upon to view our world.
I would lovingly describe him as a good guy with some issues (which one of us is perfect? Right?).
The rapid decline is really too much for me. He wants to live and see his children marry and have grandchildren. Our children, (especially our daughter)...really having a rough time.
Oh Lord give us strength and best wishes and great health for you and your loved ones.
NPfisherman, thank your for sharing your spiritual strength with us. Our faith has kept us most days ( some times it’s not so strong). We still question God at times. We try to see the good through all of this, counting our blessings as we go along. Greatful foe the love and support for great people as yourself.
God bless you with greater faith to encourages others and with great health to last a long time.
Thank you for your blessings and your wonderful response... the ways of God are mysterious to man and I struggle as well to understand the why of what has happened to me, but I know that some day ....for all of us....this struggle will be over and we will suffer no more...
My faith and hope sustains me, and while I have not been challenged as so many are, and have been here... I pray that I will face challenges with courage.... I believe one day, we shall face our maker and understand, at last, the whole of our being.....
Nalakrats you have always been a blessing, thank you. Our fath has been keeping us. We have a lot of prayers on our behalf. I ask for prayers for his peace. I know from past experiences, Peace makes the transition much easier for all. We have two adult children, neither who are married or have children, that is breaking his heart.
So sorry you and Hubby have been doing this for so long. And adding the issues you've had just boggles my mind. Hoping things turn out well. As Nalakrats said Thanks for Stopping By. We'll leave the light on.
All is well thank God . Can’t stop the rain by complaining. Clear skies right now. I pray for pain to vanish from you .. very nice to hear from you .. 😎
Welcome back, I checked and it was 7 months ago that you honored us with your post. BTW before I forget RASPberries are my favorite berries. It sounds like you had a wonderful time visiting the Caribbean and South America. Wanna go Lyming? I hope and Pray that your "Hubby" gets over this temporary bump in the road and gets to drive his classic cars. Please tell me where you're located so I can steal those two cars. Tell your "Hubby" not to fret about grandchildren, he can always adopt me. Take care and bless you both (and the grownup kids too).
Thank you for giving us the update. I'm sadden to hear of his setbacks, but so happy that you two were able to have a grand time together on those trips. I've enjoyed your previous posts and my sincerest thoughts/prayers for you and you husband at this very trying time
Some days are better than others. I am big on making the moments count.
Sometimes I do push a little much, but he always ends up enjoying himself. Unfortunately a little pain is sometimes the end result of having a fun.
Today the weather is pretty sunny and I got him up and out in the hammock outdoors and he had a good time.
Sendings healing prayers your way.
P&P
Thank you for your post and reminder to take advantage of every day we have to celebrate our lives. This cancer moves at its own pace for each of us, but no matter the the challenge we all must find the hope and happiness we have with our family and friends. From diagnosis My eyes were opened to the fragile life we have. No one decides how or when we go, but we all get to decide what we do today. Live, love, laugh, and celebrate life! APC is an annoying inconvenience that will not dictate my life!
I love your outlook to life. I totally agree with you... we have to take the bull by it’s horn and not allow our lives to be dictated by our circumstances.
Life is difficult as it is with testing, anxiously awaiting results, side effects of treatments etc etc.
Take care of your self and do your best to be present in very moment of your pleasure and pain.
One thing I know, my faith has grown in leaps and bounds.
Over yonder is a o k alright.Thank you. I’m content and that’s needed for this chemistry project gone wrong to improve.. Hope springs eternal even when facing the facts mam.. it’s been a good week. Bless Peter with peace in his heart .. Paz y amor🙏
Thanks so much for your posts Mrs. KingRasP! I felt like I was reading a an old time love story that I didn't want to put down. I'm so sorry the Mr. isn't feeling so well. I'm sending healing love for both of you.
Your kind words made me smile tonight. I had a good cry, while tucking hubby into bed. Aww he asked me to sing a song. I honestly didn’t feel like because I was so sad. I then prayed with him. It felt better and then I read your words...
This is a rough patch in our lives. I am not sure where the strength, resiliency or wisdom come from, navigating through this maze... well I think I know. I do know our children, Pete and I will never be the same again.
Do take care, and all the strength, faith and good health for you and yours.
To every one out there, be grateful for your loved ones who are by your side. This is a lonely, brutal world out there. People are scared stiff by that “boogie man called cancer.”
You both have amazing love and strength Polly and Peter. Your words here truly took me back to what felt like another time/era. To read that Peter wants you to sing to him is so very sweet. My heart aches for all of you. If only we could eradicate that horrible cancer that harms so many......
I'm so very glad you checked in with us. Your words of strength and love did some healing to a part of my soul that I didn't think was capable of feeling anymore.
My prayers are for all of you tonight and continued 💗. Thank you for being with us.
I’m sorry, I don’t know your story Polly and Peter, but gosh I feel the love that you have for each other. I’m so sorry that you are in this situation. Sending much love and thoughts of calm from Australia. X
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