Hello, I was 49 years old at my first diagnosis in 2015.

PSA was 1016, Gl=8, stage 3, mets in bones and lymphs. In addition to the hormone treatment with lupron I had 6 cycles of taxotere. All the side effects were bearable. I would do it that way again.

Best wishes !

Skip the chemo and do other standard care. You will be the same person for many years. Find private doctor and get away from VA. They are too depressing sometimes, unless you get a good VA center.

Many of us are on Eligard and Zytiga, which may completely beat back the cancer while offering a very good quality of life. ADT is no picnic but it does get better after the body adjusts to the changes.

Something you should seriously consider.

You may be confusing the affects of taxotere with hormone therapy. The effects of xtandi, zytiga and other drugs have fewer affects. Don't dismiss them without trying them.

Hi Barry,

I'm 58 years old, diagnosed 6 months ago (PSA 1000+) and I hear you. I've hit bottom, became a couch potato, gained 15 pounds in record time. Although, my dog, an aussie, does limit my couch time.

The brain got lost in the heavy fog, my passion as a software developer is over, cannot focus on the details, my company has assigned me to simple tasks, this makes it all worst.

The trappings of needing to work for the insurance, $10k average monthly claims just to float...

It's disappointment, PCa treatment is still based on 40 year old discovery, current treatments are just a facade for Orchiectomy...

So, what's my point, I'm a romantic, need to fight with what we have, is our time to be warriors, all the best...

Not trying to talk you into treatment, I respect everyone's decision. However, I don't think it's realistic to expect a couple of good years with untreated advanced prostate cancer.

I agree that the side effetcs of ADT and chemo suck, but my quality of life is much, much better than it was when I was living without treatment with very advanced PCa. That was pure hell. Nothing I've done for treatments has come close to that.

Sure, life is different and you have to adjust to that, but life is so much worth living. My wife is constantly telling me that she is so glad I am still here. Just something to think about. Again, the choice is yours and we all respect that.

Thank you... I'm glad things are going your way... I hope they always do.... I'm resolute however in my decision and if it's 2 years, 2 months or the time it takes to tap this response out.... I'll be OK with it..... I will adjust....but not to something that changes me to something that's alien to me.... That others are happy with it is wonderful and I do wish everyone the best....thanks again for sharing with me your experiences....

You could consider other options....stereotactic radiation to the met lesions....there is a clinical trial that if accepted, would be free...as long as you are not ductal or intraductal, should be ok---.I had one met lesion removed, and so have others had mets removed without loss of QOL--see page 4:

cancer.gov/about-cancer/tre...

after getting that you could try itraconazole with hydroxychloroquine....these are an antifungal drug with an arthritis drug... in clinical trials---should be tolerated ok with no change in QOL... see link below--

9news.com.au/2018/12/26/17/...

You could add a statin drug after that which seems to help OS, and other drugs with limited SE...

If you don't want to do the ADT, then consider other options if you want to be with loved ones a bit longer without giving up QOL...

Whatever you decide, it is your choice... just wanted to throw out some options... good luck

All the best,

Fish

I very much appreciate the options you have given to.... They are exactly the type of thing I'm looking for.... I don't feel as I'm throwing in the towel by refusing to take a therapy I detest, but I see where others would.... Again thank you and I will follow up on this.

Hi Barry,

I am a S.O of someone diagnosed with PC stage 4 in October 2018 (age 82) Initial PSA was in the 900. He had one month of Firmagon than switched to 3 month Lupron and Xgeva. Last month, Zytiga and prednisone were added. He only had the initial sweating at night but no other side effects. 58 years old is so young. I hope you will try hormonal therapy and for awhile longer. I will be praying for you along with the rest of your brothers here.

It is a common myth that docetaxel decreases the quality of life - data show the opposite is true. The QOL improvement diminishes the longer one waits.

NPfisherman is right, stereotactic radiation is a great option that can eliminate much cancer and reset the process for years. Also consider BAT -- alternating high dose testosterone which improves overall outlook and offsets the effects of ADT as well as stops cancer progression in and of itself.

I want to take the opposite view of most replies. I would encourage you to minimize treatment and try to enjoy the time you have left with your loved ones. My husband had PCa in 2011, treated successfully with radiation, and in 2018 it recurred with a vengeance. We tried casodex, prednisone, xgeva, xtandi and zytiga--all to no avail. He passed away just 3 months after bone mets. were found. In retrospect I often think it would have been better to spend those last 3 months at home together enjoying our memories, treating the pain, and avoiding all the expense, hospitalizations, rehab for PT, etc. during that time. This is a very personal decision. Let your faith be your guide and know that God's grace is sufficient, whatever path you choose. Best wishes to you in making this awful journey.

Didn't like ADT shots for life idea so had Orchiectomy. Great for me...Chemo, every 3 week for 18 weeks put my PSA to 0.140. Xtandi through VA keeping it there with half dose. All the above available through VA veterans choice acct nearest VA hosp. over 40 miles away. Went to drs. of choice. Maybe drive the other direction and find MO you can use without going to VA hosp. I don't know how rural you are but the Veterans Choice program has worked wonders for me. Been over two years, in remission and planing for many years to go. New normal does leave me more tired and less strong, but still cut, split and stack wood. No brain fog for me, maybe just lucky don't know. Good luck to you and your dad. Hope you go with chemo.,. Not that long a sacrifice for years of decent though different life.

Must have left out fact that I had Robotic RP so sex life was a non issue. Pathology showed all neuro/veinous bundles out of Prostate area were Gleason 9/10 so dr said I could maybe survive 12-18 mo. with treatment. Over 2 years ago now and in remission planing on 10 years or more at this pt. Blessing VA for picking up cost of $12,000 Xtandi.

Hi Barry,

I'm 67, have had prostate problems since 2001, with needle biopsy in 8/2015 with 7 of 12 cores 100% cancer, and some cancer in the other 5. Had retropubic radical prostatectomy 10/2015 - pT3b M1 N0. Margins were positive, cancer present at nerves, vesicles, bladder neck and urethra reattachment point, so I awoke from the surgery with a permanent supra-pubic catheter. My PSA was never zero, and the doubling time is roughly 4 months, with the latest PSA test in 01/2019 showing 8.23. I paid out of pocket for lots of alternative treatments beginning in 2001. I slowed the cancer down, but waited too long for the surgery.

During my visits to various clinics for treatment I spoke with dozens of cancer patients who regretted their stints of chemo, radiation, etc, and I decided then that I wasn't going to do any of that stuff.

Many years later, here I am at the decision point, and I find the decision not as easy as I thought. My next PSA is scheduled for 4/2019 and I expect it to be over 10.0, the magic cutoff point where my doctor says I'll need to decide what to do next. I'm torn between doing nothing and letting the disease run its course, or beginning the various treatments available to me.

I worked until my health crashed in May of 2015, but was forced into medical retirement at 63. Our only income now is Medicare, as I have used all of my retirement funds to combat my cancer, and all we have left of value is our house, our home for the last 18 years. If I begin treatment we will lose our home to the medical costs, copays and the like. My wife, who is 78, is very supportive and would do whatever I choose, but I don't want to lose the house, and have to relocate to an apartment. This is our home, and it is where we belong.

Choices about treatment are not trivial. I don't believe in survival at any cost, as some seem to do. I've elected to have quality of life, rather than longevity. I made this decision after careful consideration and research, but as my health slowly deteriorates, and the PSA continues to double, It requires a steady resolve, which comes under fire with each new PSA test. Having a conviction of right and correct action is one thing, committing to the logical conclusion of letting cancer grow unchecked, is something else entirely.

I continue to have PSA tests done so I can track progression, but if I'm really not going to do what the doctor wants, is there actually a point in doing the PSA tests?

FYI: I did find that diet can affect PSA progression. I stopped eating and only drank freshly squeezed vegetable juice for 3 months, and my PSA dropped from 5.78 to 4.11, but as soon as I began eating normally again, it began to climb, albeit not as fast.

When I made my decision to not treat my cancer, the median survival overall (SO) for stage 4 prostate cancer was 2.9 years. That has extended a bit with newer treatments, to about 5 years, and climbing. I have already survived about 4.5 years since my surgery while doing none of the treatments offered by my MDs. My health has been generally very good. I am physically active, we have even bought, refurbished, and flipped three houses using equity from our home. It wasn't easy, but I was able to do it, using myself as a project manager, and hiring professionals to do the work.

If I continue to not treat my cancer, can I expect another 5 years of good health? Probably not. I likely will live those 5 years slowly debilitated by the disease, which will kill me in the end.

If I decide to treat my cancer, will I survive longer than those 5 years? Yes, likely I will. Some are living 10, 12, even 15 years longer, until the cancer becomes castrate resistant, and it takes you anyway. But what is the quality of life for these guys?

It comes down to a decision, as always: What do I want from life? Currently, the decision of QoL over longevity still makes sense to me, so I will continue how I have been, using diet and exercise to stay strong and as healthy as I can be.

I suspect my resolve will be challenged along the way, especially when my health begins to fail. Will my wife truly be okay with my decision, or will she try to change my mind at some point in the future? I've always said that if something is found to cure my cancer I would do it. How about something which doesn't cure it, but gives you an extra 15 years, at diminished capacity? How does that fit into the equation of treat / don't treat?

In the end, we all die. With cancer it is a nasty death, whether we choose to treat, or not. I'm more concerned about the living experience, right now. I intend to make pleasant memories. We traveled extensively before I got sick, and have no real desire to do that again, but hikes, day trips, happy days spent in nature are goals I can achieve.

Ray

Death is easy. Its living that is so darn hard. I too considered my QOL with the option of 3 month Lupron shots and 6 cycles of chemo. It really boiled down to how much change to my physical and personal self would my family tolerate by my going through treatments and possibly being here longer. So far it has worked out, but if my QOL and personality does suffer to the point of me no longer being me then I stop. It's a tough choice. I have one friend who made that choice 20 months ago. He is still here and still very much himself. May you find the peace you desire!

Some men who have serious medical/emotional issues get a referral from the VA to a psychological counselor who specializes in such things. Anybody qualified to help soldiers who may have literally had their man-junk blown off in someplace like Afghanistan might be of at least some help for a prostate cancer patient in the context of Androgen Deprivation Therapy.

I've been on Lupron for over 5 years, starting at age 65. In my experience, it took away my severe pain, kept me mobile, and delayed some really, really serious potential stuff that could happen with advanced, untreated disease. At the same time, I keenly remember the sadness and mourning of the loss of my former body and sex life that I felt during the 1st year or two after starting treatment. The treatments were trying (pretty successfully) to change my body from an adult male into an 11 year old boy again, or a 205 pound Peter Pan. One thing that has helped me and my wife has been the continuance of intentional communication and mutual support. We used to "do it" like bunnies when we first met. As she went through menopause our sex life transitioned to more "outercourse" than traditional intercourse. After I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer, our love and intimacy increased to make up for the constraints of my disease and bodily changes that come with the treatments. I have been sad and in grief about some of it, but I've also been one Lucky Guy to live and love and be loved as we continue to go through this together.

Good Luck to you in whatever your own path ahead may be.

Charles

I was 54 at a similiar situation. Do at stage 4 with severe back pain and too many spine Mets to count. It was a rough start with immediate surgery to reduce spinal pressure, etc. But I started chemo as soon as I could - did 10 tough (but tolerable) rounds. The result is that (while still on Lipton) my PSA has been undetectable for a year, no visible Mets, and I feel completely normal. I know it will come back - but no reason for me to throw in the towel before chemo which was really “easy” .

I feel the same way for different reasons. I applaud you! Only problem is without treatment you will start to deteriorate and the time you have left will not be pleasant. Good luck my friend!

Barry, I am having great success using transdermal estradiol gel. Tall_Allen suggested patches which are basically the same kind of therapy. No side effects other than some little boobs. I have posted considerable info on my journey with this old, inexpensive, but effective therapy. It would certainly be worth giving it a try. Also read some of Richard Wassersug's posts/papers regarding this natural hormonal therapy.

I feel your pain. After 14 months of hormone therapy, Zytiga, Lupron, prednisone etc. I understand how you feel. My worries are for my wife and how she'll cope when I'm gone. I do believe that we all have our time. Nobody can dodge that. Zytiga can be now purchased online from India for about $100 a month. Sex life? It goes for many of us despite what you hear. I always joked that "yes, older women like sex, just with a young man, not an old one". Just kidding. Your family might like having you around for a while you know. You might learn to enjoy simple things in life too. Mine is doing nothing, watching TV, sitting outside and enjoying a nice bowl of ice cream. No kidding. That is what a lot of us old people do. Life can be overwhelming and I just try to adjust. Like you, I feel you must halve a quality of life that suits you. I chose to cope and be as strong as I can for as long as I can. You being Ex-military are inherently strong. You know it. All said, you have to do what you believe is right for you.

Hi Barry

Everybody respects your decision

I wish you all the best

Lots of quality and memories made

I am one such decider. Offered ADT + RT at time of diagnosis last August. Read the effects of hormonal treatments and said that was not acceptable. I respect my oncologists but recognize that they are about survival-months. Important. But living without fatigue/brain fog/depression and all that more important. For me. And for thee, it seems. Blessings and honor for your deciding what is best for you.

Your a braver man than I , Stage 4 here with Mets in spine,ribs and lymph nodes. I went thru chemo taxotere and adt treatment starting 32 months ago. The first few months were rough but now I pretty much do anything I want except sex. Good luck with the monster 🙏🙏🙏

Barry, wishing you the best for whatever you decide.

To each his own.

It's not in my nature to take your approach; if I fall off the ship & somebody throws me one of those big donuts, I guarantee you I'd grab it. Your decision sounds like slow, tortuous suicide, to me.

As far as sex-my Wife and I didn't base our matrimony on it, so, I just wait until ADT breaks.

Wish I could say I admire you, but, frankly, I think it's just a way to garner sympathy and attention, but I'm no shrink.

Heck of a way to go out, man. Whew.

Nous Defions

Crabcrusher

You can reject traditional oncology and all its negative effects. However, that does not mean you have no non-toxic options (most importantly IP6) available to you as you as a basis for a complementary medicine program.

healthunlocked.com/advanced...

healthunlocked.com/advanced...

ip-6.net

Hello, Barry.

Thank you for sharing your decision not to pursue treatment. If you change your mind, people are responding here with excellent advice and support and will always welcome your input based on whatever course you take.

We had friends who asked at the beginning five years ago: "What if you do nothing?" That option, your current choice, wasn't under consideration, but in our research my husband and I haven't found much information on men who decided to "do nothing." Please stay in touch with the folks on this board as you go along. It's a great group of knowledgeable, caring people. We all wish you well on your journey and hope to hear from you again.

Husband 70 yrs (74 now) pacemaker; Agent Orange

9/14: blood in urine; DRE suspicious

11/14: biopsy G 9 (4+5), PSA: 3.32 high Gleason, low PSA, PNI involved

Lupron taken for 33 mos (currently on Lupron again after a year hiatus.)

6/15: 9 wks IMRT

9/15= .14

1/16= .093

4/16= .079

11/16=.05 (nadir)

2/17-5/17=.05

1/17= .08

2/18= .20

4/18=0.98

6/18= 3-4 bone mets seen on CT scan

7/18= 3.29

8/28= 9.0

Lupron re-started with a month of Casodex

11/27/18=7.0

Zytiga/Prednisone started with ongoing Lupron 2/9/19=4.02

I have no problem saying that this is your journey, B, and I can relate - if I wasn't 48 with kids when I was diagnosed 30 months ago with multiple spine, pelvic, and femur mets (including a significantly compromised C2 vertebrae), my preference would be to seek the fringe/experimental treatments like High Testosterone Dose therapy...if only to become a "test pilot" and provide another valid data point for the treatment.

However, I've also stated here that I strongly believe that our loved ones have a vote - if they say fight, we fight the good fight...even if that means ADT. Basically taking my ego out of the equation has helped immensely...not that I don't struggle with the thought that I simply want to pop up out of the trench and run across no-man's-land firing away (I sort of envision HTD therapy as this...).

That being said, if you are going the alternative route and are literally pulling your own teeth (tough, brother!), look into Nalakrats' posts for suggestions like BIRM.

Good luck - I'll be rooting for you as you run across the mud....! - Joe M.

Barry, Your body your choice.

I'm 76 and on Leupron after PSA over 1300 over a year ago, body scan reported too many lesions to count, one doc said go home and die. Lost 55lbs from normal 215.

I tried Alkaline Therapy, (tsp baking soda tsp pure maple syrup in a cup water), taken one hr before first meal and one hr after last meal. By it self reduced initial PSA from 1300+ down to 362 in just 12 days and less pain.

Then started Leupron and still on It. PSA below 2 for last 6 months.

For daily Pain have added 4 Norco, 95mg CBD, and 20mg THC spread over every 6 hours a day to reduce pain to tolerable.

Made some major diet changes just for grins. Weight back up to 175.

Standard ADT side effects. Sleeping a lot and harder to do stuff you like but seeing the sun and watching things grow still enjoyable.

For me its all about whether I can control the extreme pain or not. At DX given maybe 6mos, that was about 10 mos ago. I feel positive now like it could be much more but this is a cyclic disease.

Good luck with your decision.

2Dee

Similar situation but I’m 66 and had RALP surgery a few years ago to start. On Firmagon (like eligard but better for people with heart issues) for 6 months and the side effects are difficult to take - but it stopped the bone pain I had -

I was told to start taxotere ASAP and declined to maintain a better quality of life for now

I would see if you can better tolerate the eligard - there are techniques on this site you can read about to help with this - but my suggestion is to at least keep that going at present as it works well

Greetings Barry you left off 7 8 9 10 11 12 and etc. "I would like to know what other's who have made similar decisions feel".

I did not make a similar decision as yours. I'm into humor but I want to get serious now. My first reaction is "if this guy decided he wants to hang up his spikes, why the hell does he care what other's feel?" Remember Nike's motto 'JUST DO IT". I'm sorry but I did Not read all the comments here cause that would not leave me enough time to beat my wife.

So Barry life "sucks and then you die". Well for me and other's here we have all felt the way you have right now. It's easy to give up but it takes character and balls to fight your way to the end. I thought veterans can opt out of the VA and get help privately, I guess I'm wrong. BTW before I thank you for your service I'll thank myself. Thanks myself and Thank you.

So do your children (I can't believe I'm saying this, and your ex-wife) a favor and stick around. Compare your QOL to the people who "lived" in those Nazi concentration camps in the 30's and the 40's. They would have given their eye teeth (pun intended) to be in your shoes instead of their bare feet. If you were my friend I personally would kick your ass so you'd come to your senses. That's all I have to say except:

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Monday 03/18/2019 2:25 PM DST

I have been on Zytiga n Lupron for seven months. Besides some hot flashes and a reduced sex Drive, I am the same guy. Last month I went skiing in Montana for a week n then Colorado for a week. The little blue pills work when we want to have sex. After a really sad first few months, I am now living life to the fullest with a positive attitude. I am planning a week long dirt bike trip to Montana in August with my son n 3 friends. Rock n Roll houchi coo!😬

there is a clinical study open at Duke you should look into. Disulfiram and copper...It is actually Antabuse used for alcoholism....It is easy to get an appointment ...Tian Zhang is the doctor leading the study..Call Duke Cancer and get in to see her...I appears to be promising .

Hope it wasn't a mistake for you to come here. I think you've set a record in number of replies I've seen in the year I've been here. Everyone here means you well. Maybe we are a little rough on the exterior sometimes, but we've been beat with bats for years. Welcome. And come back and stir the pot up as much as you like. Make us laugh. Throw a VA hospital at us. Good luck my friend as you juggle all of this. I do recommend the chemo. And now I shall slink away. Enjoy.

Barry, thank you for your original post. I've read every one of the responses including your gracious thank yous and comments. I have the same thoughts as you because, all of a sudden about a month ago with no prior warning, I learned I'm stage 4. I asked my oncologist for some help in weighing the length of life vs. quality of life question, and he brushed that off. So now I'm on a whole ADT and bone-strengthening drugs. Even though I'm 76 and things have slowed down in the sex department over the years, I can't make myself accept the idea of chemical castration...due to both the sexual and self-esteem implications.

Because I'm so impressed by the sincere and knowledgeable posts to this thread, I hope you don't mind if I ask a few questions and don't regard me as hijacking your thread. In summary, my PSA was 111, Gleason 4+4 for two samples, one cervical bone met confirmed, and no pain yet. Started Casodex + Lupron + Zytiga + Xgeva + Prednisone about a week ago.

1. Which cause the most side effects?

2. How soon will I start feeling them?

3. How debilitating will they be?

4. If I stick with it, when will my testicles start to noticeably shrink?

5. If I stick with it, when will it probably be 100% outercourse and 0% intercourse even with blue pill assistance?

Silicone balls were offered like fake breasts, but I opted to go all natural. Good discussion starter for men who stare at you in the gym shower. Pca is no joke, gets others, even young men thinking about it. Doesn't bother my self esteem and may save someone from this horrible disease.

After my life was taken away, then given back to me, I agreed not to complain about side effects.

Barry, as I read your original posts, others reply’s and yours as well, my heart is so torn over each and every bit of advice, humour and love these men (and women) have provided you.

My admiration for your true grit attitude is also so close to my heart as my late husband and I went through every emotion and thought provoking and agonizing question you and others have brought to our attention on this forum, even if it has brought out a wave of emotional and determined answers we all may or may not like.

I pray you find your inner answers and hope you make the decision “you” are happy with. But bear in mind the feelings of those others you and your ex wife created. You’re personal decision does and will affect them if they aren’t included in your decision making.

Your not too far in to keep on fighting!

Sheri (cheerleader for you all now)

What are ya,stupid or something? Just kidding. 😊. My two cents.. I’m doing the drug thing, did chemo, Provenge, doing xgeva, zytiga and lupron. Side effects no big deal except for the absolute disappearance of any semblance of a libido. It is so gone that it doesn’t even bother me that I don’t have sex any more. If you can deal with that reality then the rest is tolerable and you’ll live longer and possibly way longer.

Yes, the no sex thing doesn't matter to me. Been so long I hardly remember it. But like I've said before, a pretty girl still turns my head.

Don't give up Barry 123456. You are too young (I have a son that old) for that. What is your PSA for you to despair so? At least try Zytiga + Pred. It is also not light on the body, But tolerable. If by quality of life, you mean sex, I am afraid you will have to learn to let it go...PCa is a dreadful malady and claims its pound of flesh.

Well you have had a lot of responses! I just want you to know that in 2007 my PSA went up to 72 and I had 42 radiations. All was well until 2011 when they found metastases so I had 30 more radiations and started Lupron every 3 months. Lupron went on for 6 1/2 years and now I am cancer free. I still have all my junk and it has been 1 year since I have had therapy. Have a wonderful life!

Barry.

I'm still finding my way around this fantastic site and am stunned by this thread you have allowed us all to share. So much wisdom, experience and support for each other. Most of it not giving in easily and demonstrating an incredible strength to put up a good fight with this bastard. Me: 66 yrs old and Dx of Stage 3. I've been on Zoladex ADT for over 12 months (just had next 3 month shot today) and finished Docetaxel chemo 6 months ago. Throwing everything at it including Vit C and the old drugs Metformin, Doxycycline and Mebendazole through an enlightened Dr. here in New Zealand. Really getting into the exercise and feel great except for the missing libido. Have great memories of what my wife of 20 years and I have shared in that regard and look forward to many more fantastic years in so many other ways. There are so many options but we will be with you all the way in your choice.

Hello Barry... I can welll understand why you might want to D/C treatment. I , personally, have ignored increases in PSA post radiation because going on Hormones would have eliminated virtually everything that I enjoy in life.. now I am facing likely Bone Metastasis and will be faced with the difficult decision to proceed toward death or find a way to take myself out prior to the worst of it.

I got 8 years of living the way I wanted to live instead of a greater time period of very compromised existence...... It's a very private decision and there are always going to be those who will say simply being ALIVE is better than death.... Yes..we have that biological imperative to remain alive but quality, to me, far outdistances quantity.... I only wish that the world were more tolerant in terms of providing more available methods of kindly exiting this world when our QOL has diminished to the degree that it no longer makes sense to go on...

"Never give in-never, never, never, never....never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." Winston Churchill- There are too many options available to fight this cruel disease. The quality of life is often what we create with our own energy. Science and cutting edge medicine makes a difference. Trust it. Believe in yourself. There is no such thing as accepting the inevitable. Having dealt with this issue since 2011 and still going strong, I am convinced that excellent doctors, cutting edge medicine and a commitment to taking care of yourself will give you a quality of life beyond your wildest dreams. I too was a skeptic!!!

I'm not sure how to go about this, but a quick update..... I had appointments at the Atlanta VMAC the 20th of last month.... Palliative pain clinic and Oncology..... I Turned in my Advanced Directive and informed all concerned parties that I would no longer be taking any treatments for the time being but that I would consider chemo in the future but that hormone suppression was a non starter. I also declined any labs or active monitoring by the VA. I do not want to know psa levels or anything else related to my condition at this point. I will base my future decisions on how I feel physically.... The Eligard hopefully will have disapated by June or July.

The way I see it , it's a matter of attitude. I sometimes am glad I'm set free from trying to get my genes out there. It can allow you to do other things. I now have grand children. I've been spoiling them for 6 years now. Retired, I can't wait to see them. If u accept the fact that part of life is losing everything then you stop caring that u don't look like Charles Atlas anymore, and that your labido is history. Doing hobbies with the Grand kids to me is a second child hood. I take anti depressants. I don't want to to kill the party. I hope u can see this side soon. You might find something worth living for...good luck.