I've been called a "warrior" a number of times, but I didn't really feel like one until I began radiation this past Tuesday, March 28. Somehow just taking the hormone therapy didn't seem like actively fighting against the cancer, but now it's different, somehow. Even having my testicles removed last November with a bilateral orchiectomy seemed more like a defeat than fighting.
And it also felt like a defeat when my radiation oncologist didn't think that rad. would be too risky, possibly opening a stoma in the rectum or bladder. The alternative was surgery to remove bladder, prostate and a colostomy, which was the most frightening possibility for me---very invasive surgery.
Now with 20 rounds of radiation scheduled to fry, to zap the prostate and shrink the cursed thing again seems to me more actively fighting back. It's only palliative, which I realize, but it's like attacking an enemy that has tried to destroy me. The hormone therapy seemed more passive, but now I eagerly look forward to the radiation treatment, so far. I've only had three (the machine was down one day) and I know that there can be complications, but it has given me some new hope. My first round of 10 radiation treatments to the sacrum back in July, 2014, went well, without complications.
Monday I'll have my next treatment, immediately followed by the monthly labwork, with new PSA and testosterone levels, and it's anyone's guess whether either or both will be up or down.
Spring has given me new hope; a season of renewal and rebirth, and I'll win this skirmish in the battle against prostate cancer.