HELP!!!! ADHD TEEN

[RicheLee842]

Parent of an ADHD and I believe ODD newly teenager. Behavioral Therapy is needed. Any tips and advise or referrals are appreciated, I’m almost to the point where I want to whoop her, her smart mouth when she doen’t get to see my cellphone or whenever we attempt to talk to her, even calmly, she screams and covers her ears. Can anyone relate? What do you do, besides send her go to her room ? She continues to scream and bang on the door or jump on the bed.

[Mamamichl]

wow, my ten yo is just like this. I find positive reinforcement whenever possible. She has to earn extra time on the phone and can buy her own drinks with the earnings. Though it isn’t helping when she has tantrums like that. She’s been in counseling for a while but I’m going through DBT and it’s helping me in those moments.

Although easier said than done, don’t take it personally. Sometimes texting with her helps so we don’t yell at each other. She actually listens more in text. She is generally a good kid, but those moments are definitely the pits. After emotional regulation happens again, having them fix anything broken in those moments are imperative. The natural consequence teaches them to take responsibility.

I am finding they are happening more that she’s going through puberty. Just saw research about how our adhd symptoms happen the most in pms and during periods. Not sure if this pertains with you.

[LisethHIS]

Good day, RicheLee842,

Thank you for contacting CHADD National Resource Center on ADHD. Parenting can be tough and sometimes feel overwhelming, but remember, you’re doing your best! If you're interested, CHADD offers parenting courses, chadd.org/parent-to-parent/ and you can also explore behavioral therapy. Here are some helpful resources for you.

pcit.org/

cdc.gov/adhd/treatment/beha...

chadd.org/continuing-educat...

triplep.net/glo-en/home/

chadd.org/for-parents/paren...

If your teen is interested, we also have two teen support groups: adhdkc.org/ and chaddofsfv.org/

If there is anything else you need, please let me know.

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD

chadd.org

[Phianoposis33]

One thing you don't want to do is yell back. It's hard,so hard, but I got to almost whispering with my son. I also calmly told him that I will not listen to him, or talk to him when he is yelling at me-and i walk away. Done- If she starts screaming or jumping on her bed pay no attention to it. The more you do, they continue to do it.

Hormones play a part but still no excuse for the disrespect. Sit down when she is calm and have a heart to heart. Sometimes it's even good to ask her what would help when she gets in these moods. For my son it was to leave him alone. But he was still expected to do homework- some days I'd let him pass on chores and he'd sleep.

There was a point where he was so disrespectful I stopped doing things for him. Treat me bad and call me names? wash your own clothes. Dinner? make yourself a sandwich. He learned quick. Doesn't mean we still didn't have bad days, but he learned pretty fast. And therapy! Find someone she can really relate to. Lastly medication may be needed if she isn't on anything already.

[RicheLee842 in reply to Phianoposis33]

Thank you so much! Someone who understands, this gives me hope. I will apply these methods and see how they work with her. My daughter being disrespectful and talking back all the time (She says no whenever you ask her to stop doing something) is one of the main reason why I have yet to buy her a cellphone. I allow her to use mine from time to time, but all of her friends have phones with them and she doesn’t, due to her constant negative behavior. She does have some good days some times, or partial good days and she’s a mommy’s girl, which makes it harder. My husband doesn’t want to deal with her at all. They bump heads constantly, he says, you deal with her. She literally stopped waking up to come in our bed only 8 months ago. It has been quite a struggle.

[Phianoposis33 in reply to RicheLee842]

My husband never wanted to deal with our son either, I was the disciplinarian. And he's also on the autism spectrum- high functioning, but that's another battle. Everything is black and white, nothing in the middle.

Rewards do help. Maybe a deal if she can turn her additude around you can get her a phone. I also found postive reinforcement before a behavior begins. Some teens are really moody, but if you can slip a compliment in there before they get to that danger zone of disrespect, all the better.

definitly is not easy. My son is now 24 and there are still some days but not as bad as the teenage years

Hang in there! You're doing a good job whether you realize it or not.

[RicheLee842 in reply to Phianoposis33]

🙂 I appreciate that. Thank you. Sounds like your hubby and mine are related lol I really think he has ADHD, he always clashes with our daughter. I don’t know if ADHD is linked to narcissistic tendencies or not, but he has them. I try my best to control any situation calmly, with mindfulness of the moodiness in my daughter, as well as my hubby. I’m so happy to be able to be heard by someone who relates, again thank you.