Husband possible ADHD

[MrsBarker]

Hi

Looking to get some enlightenment.

Have noticed patterns in my Husband behaviour and suspect he may have either ADHD, Autism,or both. His tome keeping with everything including work is terrible he's always late even though he rushes around, wakes up earlier he still manages to be late.

He forgets a lot of things and contradicts himself through conversation. (This has caused a lot of arguments as i thought he was lying, but he does seem genuinely confused.)

He has memory problems, trouble focusing on TV or conversation.

Has bad self esteem, and is constantly worried that he's going to do something wrong.

Has a vivid imagination and can make up pictures and stories out of the most random things.

He's socially awkward and hates meeting new people. People he's comfortable with he can sometimes talk over them but it seems to be without realising.

He has OCD about certain things.

With information such as letters, emails etc it takes him a few times of reading carefully to absorb the information.

Just wondering your thoughts on this really?

Many Thanks

Kirsty. X

Read more: aadduk.proboards.com/user/5...

[Emready]

This sounds a lot like me. Zoloft helped because I had such low self esteem from all of it that I was depressed. He definitely needs to see a profeasional. He is probably wound so tight that its terrible on you.

[MrsBarker in reply to Emready]

That's amazing to know there's someone going through similar.

To be honest I find the hardest thing is the contradictions. As it looks like lies but once he sits down and explains sometimes he remembers things about his past and then a few months later he doesn't remember but then will remember again at a later period.

It was a case of piecing things together after I found out there major complications in his birth.

Thank you so much for replying, I'll do anything I can go help and support him through this. X

[Emready in reply to MrsBarker]

You are a wonderful partner. It took me 15 or so years to figure out why my ex made me out to be and thought I was such a liar. Even things like when I told him I was going to do something and would end up doing 3 other things, it was never intentional. I just lost track and got distracted. Yoy must really love your partner. Thats great.

[Mamamichl in reply to MrsBarker]

you’re amazing! My partner helped me realize my adhd, since he knew some of the social things I was complaining about he felt deeply (also diagnosed years ago). He talked me into getting a neuro evaluation, and they said I’m definitely adhd, anxiety and ptsd, and possibly autistic (they were on the fence).

As a person with adhd, we mean well, and when we think, we know what we want and feel. We aren’t dumb… It’s the autopilot that ticks us off and when the memory pops in at a later time, we have so many regrets. Sometimes, what my partner does is to point it out in the moment “didn’t you say you wanted to go out for dinner today?”… to which,I process where I am in preparing it and make another decision. We pause each other and reprocess in the moment, which helps us not have those regrets as often. Keep in mind, what and how you say it must be from a place of love.

[rach1402]

Hi, as an ADHD sufferer myself I can identify with a lot of what you've described but other things not at all. Having said that, different people have different symptoms with ADHD and also with other disorders. Being socially awkward is not exclusively an autistic trait, the low self esteem in social situations can cause that in people with ADHD because we've got no filter and don't think about what we're saying and doing until we've already offended someone or made a fool of ourselves. People with ADHD know when we're out of line, but only after the event and we can feel the disapproval and judgement of others, which leads to social anxiety for a lot of us. Autistic people often miss social cues and are generally more socially aloof but that's a generalisation and there are exceptions and crossover of symptoms between disorders.

There's nothing wrong with hearing about others experiences but none of us here can give you an accurate picture of what your husband is struggling with. From what you've described I can see traits of ADHD, autism, bipolar disorder and brain damage but it's unlikely he has all of those! Given his complications at birth I'm inclined to think brain damage, especially if he was deprived of oxygen at birth. Memory can be a problem for ADHD sufferers but it's usually a problem with working memory, ie what we just did, what we need to do now and what we need to do after that to complete a task from start to finish without getting distracted.

Sorry I can't be more definitive, your husband needs a full psychological assessment and maybe a neurological assessment by doctors who have experience in diagnosing and treating people with your husband's symptoms. I wish you both the best of luck x

[MrsBarker in reply to rach1402]

Thanks for your reply. 😊😊

He seems to forget most things and has problems paying attention.

He forgets things he done and said 5 minutes ago. Things he's got to do. That sort of thing. X

[rach1402 in reply to MrsBarker]

Yeah sounds complex, doctors should be able to find out what's going on if they get a full picture of his difficulties x

[Suza123]

Sounds like long term untreated ADHD. He is overcompensating his deficiencies. Bc he has not had therapy or medication he has developed side effects. Adhd has many aspects and when untreated it appears as multiple diagnosis when its actually long term, undiagnosed, untreated ADHD.

[Mamamichl in reply to Suza123]

agreed. We all develop coping strategies if we haven’t gotten counseling/medications for so long (diagnosed at almost 40). Although each of us cope differently, I do believe that it’s different ways to cover/accommodate for many of the same feelings/behaviors.