Paralysis

[Slothwidget]

Hi, does anyone have any tips on getting thru, what I refer to as, paralysis? Just basically becoming so overwhelmed by all the things that need taking care of and all the steps and all the set backs and disappointments and frustrations, that you're literally unable to do anything at all. I just sit and stare for hours. Unable to do anything because I am so overwhelmed and discouraged by life.

[RoseZen]

I am going through this too, and sometimes it's so hard I can't bother with tidying up or doing dishes. I wish I had an answer for you. Just make sure no matter what that you are getting a good rest each night. I've been putting my phone in a lockbox at night so that I am able to check out.

[Slothwidget in reply to RoseZen]

Thanks so much for replying. Helps just to know I'm not the only one struggling with this, just feels that way. A problem for me is I have an extreme form of delayed sleep disorder too, which basically just means I am naturally up all night and then sleep during the day. Which obviously comes with it's own set of problems. But I def know sleep is important. And electronics distract me (everyone?) from that.

[RoseZen in reply to Slothwidget]

I replaced my phone for a Kindle at night

[OldADHDer in reply to Slothwidget]

I hear you about the sleep disorder. I didn't realize how little sleep I was getting. I'd be awake until 2 am, fall asleep for about 3 hours, wake up and not be able to fall asleep until around 6 am, then my alarm would go off at 6:30 waking me from good REM sleep. I fought the doc about taking Trazedone for a long time because I would wake up so groggy, but when he had me cut the pill in half and I got into a routine, I started sleeping better and voluntarily stopped doom scrolling or playing games on my phone all night. Still a little groggy in the morning but that goes away after a few minutes. It really helped to quiet the squirrels running around in my head. It's not perfect, but it helps me.

[LittleOl-Lady in reply to Slothwidget]

E-devices are known to emit light that keeps people awake. Furthermore, staying on the device can be addictive, so one's brain is not in touch with how tired our body is and wants to sleep. It is recommended to not use devices 2 hours before turning lights off.

[Reformschooldropout]

I struggle with this too, the sleep thing isn't as bad for me as it obviously is for you, but it is still a problem... but I can very much relate to the paralysis. I have definitely found that stimulant medication helps with this but it doesn't make it go away. I have found that if I grab the moments when I'm in a slightly better frame of mind, to organise things to do with other people, or get some exercise, it helps a lot to make me feel better and helps to provide a framework to get the other stuff done too. I find listening to energetic music helps too. But I know very well that at the worst times I can't even bring myself to do these small helpful things... It's definitely a self perpetuating problem and I'm VERY sympathetic... I'm in a slightly better place currently but I felt exactly like you describe, up until about a month ago.I have also found that knowing that I'm not alone and I'm not just a useless screw up but I have a neurological condition that genuinely does make it a lot more difficult, helps to not beat myself up so much... The beating oneself up only makes the whole thing worse! I'm also on anti depressants which help with that. Don't know if any of these suggestions would be helpful for you, but be assured you are not alone!

[TorMaleADHD in reply to Reformschooldropout]

You've described me perfectly. I'm in a similar situation. I'm talented and experienced in my profession, however I have developed a reputation of not being able to get jobs finished within a reasonable time frame. I'm on Vyvanse, 30 mg, and it's helped. I recently noticed that I've reverted to my bad habit of getting up from my desk several times an hour, whether it's to get some water, pick up a printout from the printer, etc.; this wasting of time is eating into my productivity. Eventually, I get started and plow through to get a job finished, but it's usually past midnight by that time. People think I work too much; I realize I'm terrible at making the best use of my time. I don't know how I've allowed this to happen. I can sit at my desk wasting time doing all kinds of things, except what I need to get done.

I'm desperate to find a solution. I've reached out to several local organizations for coaching, however, they are all fully booked and not taking on new clients. Of course, just my luck.

Any suggestions?

[Cat00]

Completely agree with Reformschooldropout about music and exercise. I've discovered the right music can induce focus better than anything else I've found especially for work things. I've also found recently that I can do domestic chores if I have an interesting podcast to listen to too. Without quite a lot of exercise I'd cease to function at all...

[ShariIsBlessed1]

I can relate to paralysis! I tend to experience it when I have a lot to do, have an event with more responsibilities that I'm getting ready for, or am getting ready for a trip. Definitely experience it when I am facing a task such as trying to organize my room. I finally asked my daughter to help me sort my clothes. We didn't get to my huge totes of crafts that I still need to organize. But it isn't as daunting a task because we were able to get rid of things that were too big, or that I don't see myself ever wearing again.

A couple of weeks ago I needed to take a shower after doing Zumba, but I delayed it by a couple of hours because I couldn't decide if I should wash my hair or wait another day! I wasted my time going down rabbit trails online. I don't remember if I was even overly stressed that day.

I'm not very good at it, but I make checklists of what I have to accomplish today, soon, lists of things I should accomplish, both today & soon, and lists of things I'd like to accomplish today & soon. Then I try to prioritize what is the most important & work at those 1st. It is satisfying to be able to cross items off the lists.

Using the lists & my daily checklist of self care items, I want to use the timer method but have not gotten into that habit yet. 25 -50 minutes of a task that needs to be done, followed by a 5 - 10 minute break. I want to use the break minutes for a bit of exercise, walking outside for a breath of fresh air, setting up something that I want to do, checking social media, etc. Then back to the task at hand if I didn't complete it.

[rootcausesearcher]

A few terms to look at that may help focus your search. “Executive Dysfunction” and “Rejection Sensitivity Disorder.”

My sleep deficit was from my brain not settling down from doing work email late at night. Mine was an easy fix of course.

Little bites

It actually works a lot. Those big (and seemingly big) tasks can at least be started. Start anywhere. Even if you can’t get started, just physically touching the probable first step can help. Admittedly not always, but good for smaller humps.

HTH at least a little.

[Komomikabee]

I really hear you. I spent years looking for answers to that paralysis. For a long time I thought it was depression and knew nothing about ADHD, so I could never seem to find anyone who really understood what I was talking about. I also found that many otherwise helpful strategies can be defeated by paralysis, because I didn't have the motivation to implement the strategies.

I don't think there are any universal solutions. A lot of what others have suggested can definitely help make paralysis less frequent and less prolonged. However when I'm stuck in it, and no-one else is around, the only break-out strategy that works for me is do something. By that I mean I get up and do literally anything that isn't sitting in paralysis. It doesn't matter if it's useful/productive/relevant in itself - the aim isn't to achieve something - the idea is just to get my brain going by whatever means necessary. It's about momentum. The big realisation for me was that motivation follows action, not the other way round, and I would otherwise wait forever to feel 'ready'. So I push myself to start the easiest or most appealing activity I can think of, and then use that momentum to hopefully get somewhere with the rest of my day. It still isn't easy, but it can make the difference between getting moving and staying stuck. Putting music on definitely helps too!

I really hope that helps a little. It's so incredibly demoralising to be stuck in paralysis and it can make you feel hopeless and useless, but please remember it's not your fault, and you deserve compassionate encouragement, not angry berating of yourself. Sending hugs!

[SunniM]

I’m going through this too. When I try to describe it to my Dr or therapist, they don’t seem to understand. They either think it’s severe depression or some sort of ocd. I mean, I have had severe depression in the past but this is different. I don’t have any suggestions except I sometimes will set a timer for every 20-30 minutes to try to get something accomplished. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes not.

[ThisTooShallPass08]

I don't have anything particularly helpful to add, just chiming in to say that I also struggle with overwhelm paralysis. And I do agree that sometimes just doing SOMETHING, even the smallest thing, can help with task initiation. Also, quieting the mind with guided meditation helps me. It's a rough life we lead, but you're not alone!

[Slothwidget]

Hi, I just want to say thank you so much to everyone that replied to my post about overwhelm paralysis. It was wonderful to read tips about how people try to deal with this. And to hear all of the heartfelt comments about not beating myself up for it or feeling ashamed and alone. I definitely carry a lot of shame with this, having been diagnosed in my late 30s despite experiencing it my whole life. Again, thank you. And best of luck to everyone on here!!