Need Advice RE: How to setup routine - what can I do every day e.g. walk the dog, etc. trying to get some structure in my life

[BillSchismIII]

Like the post title says, trying to establish a routine schedule I can follow since right now I have none. Therapist suggested lack of routine was root cause of depression, so I need ideas for stuff to repeat, preferably that I have no choice other than doing them. That motivation has to come externally like in a workplace when you have to show up and the external motivation comes from your boss. Can't get a job for the time being so anything I can do to keep busy will be great. How do you guys keep busy on the days you're not working?

[BLC89]

Hello BillSchismlll,May I suggest something creative? Is there something creative you enjoy? Creativity and anxiety cannot coexist, isn't that cool? It is also proven that doing something creative for at least 20 minutes per day increases your sense of well being.

Secondly, physical activity, especially high cardio, is fantastic for boosting you health, focus and mood.

Lastly, being in nature is a huge mood booster. Being among the trees of a forest for extended periods (2+hours) improves your immune system too.

And hugging a person, animal and even a tree (it's true I swear) for 30 seconds or more releases oxytocin, the feel good hormone.

The best way to add a new habit is to "stack" it on an existing habit like brushing your teeth or morning coffee.

For instance, before your coffee or while it's brewing, go for a short walk or stretch or _____ (insert habit). Your morning coffee is your reward when you finish.

Or stretch before you brush your teeth.

Once you have coupled the two habits for several days in a row it gets really easy to keep going.

Another idea is to not think of it as something you HAVE to do EVERY day. That can get your ADHD mind to rebell.

Think of it as "just this week" and then next week think "just this week" don't make it indefinite that's too rigid.

Give yourself credit every time you do the new habit - no matter how small the new habit may be.

It's also a good idea to start small. So don't plan your whole day and think that will stick it most likely won't last long.

Create a morning routine - walk & coffee type thing. Once that feels pretty regular, at least 2+ weeks or more, then add another habit maybe in the evening.

After a month (I know it sounds like a long time) you have one or two new habits then you could add a mid day habit.

It's hard to go slow but it is scientifically proven to be the best way to create habits that stick. If you add one positive habit per month that's 12 new habits per year - that's a lot of big change.

Those are a few ideas, hopefully it sparks something for you to try.

Whatever you choose be kind as you learn to add the habit. Adding habits is not easy, go slow and start small for best results.

Let us know how it goes. Good luck!

BLC89

[BillSchismIII in reply to BLC89]

Hi BLC89, thanks for the prompt and detailed answer. Your advice is very useful and honestly it's the sort of thing anyone planning a routine should bear in mind so I hope you link back to this post should someone else also have the same problem. Much appreciated 👍

[BLC89 in reply to BillSchismIII]

Thank you.

[FifthWheel]

Boy. The comment about not a making a new goal something that I HAVE TO DO EVERY DAY from BLC89 really struck me. My heels went straight into the ground with that phrase! Let's you and I agree to change that statement into "I really would like to..." I have a white board at home that I put one, maybe two behaviors I would like to change so at least I can remember what I am working on.

[BillSchismIII in reply to FifthWheel]

Hmmm that is fair. It wasn't so much about me forcing myself to do something as it was taking the choice out of my hands like when your boss doesn't want you to be late or your customer needs you to serve them. If it comes from myself, I can choose to delay, reschedule or avoid. But yes I do think that trying to force it won't always work, never if it's yourself forcing it. But a dependant needing help, neighbour needing lawns mowed, customer needing service, etc. was what I was aiming for. Thank you for the advice 👍

[FifthWheel in reply to BillSchismIII]

You just mirrored me and, hopefully, gave me a new way to look at things. Y es! When I am doing things for others, it is taking the decision out of my hands. Maybe this realization will help rethink a lot of things that I've been doing. Thanks.

[ABJESO]

I have recently enjoyed adhd coaching and this has helped a lot it setting small goals that help me to become more structured.

I now set myself a 10 minute timer for specific activities and a check list. I never really liked the idea of check lists but it helps. The biggest thing is I would get stuck at what do I do know? When I’m at work I could have a running list of all the things I wanted to accomplish. At home, nothing. I believe that did push me towards depressive behaviors.

10m stretching, 10m excercise, 10m reading….

A list of interests and need to do activities is my external brain.

Recently acquired a little buddy, a kitten. He gives me added reason to get my but out of bed.

Hope to hear about what works for you.

[BillSchismIII in reply to ABJESO]

This is a good point and is far more achievable. I have already started to put into practice so thanks for the idea. Appreciate it! 👍

[WeAreAllOK]

2, 5 or 10 minutes silence and breathing before you open your cell phone. Every day. There is nuance.

Do it with coffee. A walk if you are kinerstetically inclined. With a candle. With some music.