I was just diagnosed in February and I’m 57. I’m in search of understanding.

[BikerChick66]

i’ve always known that I was different. I can say from the age of 12, I am so typically ADD. I was terrible in in high school. I graduated last in my class. All I wanted to do was get drunk and do drugs. About a year or two after high school graduation I got the itch for college. It was about 40 minutes from my house first year. I lived at home. Second year I moved on campus. I was a senior in college getting ready to graduate. And then I had a bad trauma. I went home and never finished my degree. About five years later I met a man and after five weeks moved to another state with him, we were very young in the marriage didn’t last. My second marriage with someone I met online after talking for a year we decided to meet. At the airport, I met this man and his three children that he had full custody of and I immediately thought what am I getting into. But I did it anyway, about a month later I moved in with them left the state again ended up getting pregnant and we ended up getting married. I raised four children, only one of them I gave birth to about 12 years later we got the divorced and lost contact with my stepchildren. I was devastated. I am a typical impulsive woman who searches for Adventure and a project. Several lonely years after my second divorce, I met another man. After a year, he moved in with me, made a commitment to me. All my life I’ve been told I’m difficult, stupid, I’m a whore, I’m overbearing, controlling, Pushy, and I interrupt peoples conversations all the time. In my life, I have gone through several best friends. Nobody sticks around for too long eventually they all leave. My boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year. This diagnosis has thrown a wrench in our relationship. I feel like when I talk to him about ADD and Fibromyalgia. He doesn’t get it , and he appears agitated. I don’t see him doing any research or trying to understand what this is like and what I need. I had an abusive father… An absent mother… Brothers and sisters that were never nice to me. And years and years of heartache. We’ve all got a story, but this is mine.

[STEM_Dad]

Welcome to the community BikerChick66 !

Thank you for being so open and sharing your story.

I'm sure that's going through so much of your life so far with undiagnosed ADHD has been a huge struggle.

It's been a struggle for me (diagnosed 3 years ago at 45), and I've had good family support (except when I was still married, my wife wasn't accepting of my diagnosis; she divorced me for other reasons a couple of years ago).

ADHD and Fibromyalgia together! Now that is lot on your plate. I think there's some research that correlates the two. (ADHD is often due to a dopamine deficiency in certain parts of the brain. I think I've read that fibromyalgia research suggests that a dopamine deficiency can be tied to it as well, but I'm less familiar with it even though my grandma has it and my mom might.)

I hope that your current relationship partner comes around and develops an interest in the conditions, for your sake.

[JLJS in reply to STEM_Dad]

Bikerchick,

I have to say you are one brave person. You really have had a hard time with ADHD, I guess we all have. It hurts my heart to hear of your struggles. All I can say is medication helps me. I suffer from depression and lithium has helped a great deal with that, I also take ritalin which seems to help a bit and as well as other prescription drugs. You're situation makes me wonder if you also have some level of PTSD. I would encourage you to consider talking with a therapist. Therapy has helped me in the past.

Be kind to yourself,

JLJS

[Mamamichl]

have you offered any articles for him to read or perhaps podcasts? I started watching you tube videos of adhd_love and how to adhd, and send them to my man.

[AuntieSquirrel23]

My sweet, dear friend, you and I have traveled a parallel path and I felt every word of your post. I thought I was broken for so many years, and I didn’t get diagnosed until my late thirties- 54 now. I have been down the adrenaline seeking roads you have and I still am, occasionally. I have learned that there is nothing wrong with it as long as we are safe about it, which I have not always been and my the grace of God I’m still here.

One of the double edged swords is the hyper focus symptom. It has had me researching my ass off for years and I have learned so much about “why” I had done or not done significant things in my life and teaching myself tools to manage this disorder. Had I known what I know now. my earlier years would’ve been a bit smoother.

I have been told so many of the same criticisms as you, “do you listen to yourself”; “you try to control every situation”; “will you shut up and let me finish”; “why do you also many stupid questions “; the list is endless.

All of this and the bonus is that I’m medication resistant. Doesn’t work. Sounds fun, huh? You will figure some of it out and what might work best for you, but the one thing I’ve been working on for years and I will give this wish and hope for you to do the same, is to change the voice in your head that believed what other people told you. They told us how we “should” be, how we should act, speak, think and pretty much breathe. It changes who we are and stifles who we could’ve been, but the good news is you can still me that person you pictured. It is not too late. You’re not too much. I’m not too much. Maybe they’re not enough!