Where to start...

[sunflower2019]

I was diagnosed with ADD as a young child but never really got any treatment for it. I struggled through grade school and highschool..attempted Community college but didnt make it past 1 semester. I then decided to go to school to become a medical assistant it was about a 12 month program struggled through that as well but made it through. Ive been working in the medical field for over 12-13 years now. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 years and we have a BEAUTIFUL baby boy together who is 4 years old (he is my entire heart and soul) Ive worked for the same company for 5 years now as a medical assistant in urology. I love my co-workers and the doctors. Thats pretty much my life in a nut shell & yet I am so unhappy every single day, I carry around guilt, regret and fear like its going out of style. I cant remember the last time I was actually geniuely happy (maybe right after I had my son but I did suffer from pretty bad post partum anxiety and depression) I am on medication for my ADD, depression and anxiety. I guess somedays I feel like it works and other days I feel nothing. Ive been on these medications for years now especially the Vyvanse 70mg & adderall 15mg that I am currently taking for my ADD. My psychiatrist is nice and trys to help but I dont know if she completely listens or hears me in our appointments. I am getting back into therapy as well. I guess my question is where do I start when every aspect of my life seems so messed up? medication? therapy? I am so tired of feeling this way and just want to be happy again. what am I doing wrong?

[Knitting20projects]

PLEASE print out or read this exact post to your psychiatrist. Maybe you have developed tolerance to your ADHD medication and need a change. And you may need something different for your depression/anxiety. And if you have any trauma history that hasn't been evaluated, that may need treatment. Definitely find a therapist who is a good fit for you. And chronic guilt can be a sign of undertreated depression. Please keep trying to get yourself good care---you deserve to feel better!!!!! Hugs to you.

[sunflower2019 in reply to Knitting20projects]

Thank you so much for your kind words!

[Netjester]

Where are you located? In the USA? If so, I can help find you an ADHD psychiatrist that only helps those with ADHD. As Knitting20projects states, it sounds like you may need a change. It could be that those meds just don't work for you.

I do recommend reading or listening to the book The Body Keeps The Score. It's life changing to anyone who has ADHD or depression. Everything falls into place after knowing why you act the way you do. Good Luck

[sunflower2019 in reply to Netjester]

Thank you! Yes I am located in Wilmington Delaware! Id appreciate the help in finding a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD!