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Newly diagnosed, where do I go from here?

MisoDashi profile image
13 Replies

I was just diagnosed with ADHD this month. I've started medication, which helps immensely, but I'm also overwhelmed when the medication wears off. I haven't worked in two years and I really need to find a job, but I don't know where to start. When I start thinking about options my mind plays -what I call- "ADHD ping pong" and I get paralyzed.

I'm 36 and I'm struggling with thoughts about, "what could have been" had I figured this out earlier. I know I can't change the past, but the thoughts are there nevertheless.

Maybe I'm also just too impatient? Now that I have the diagnosis, I want everything to be figured out and moving forward, but I'm still feeling stuck.

Does anyone have any guidance to share?


13 Replies

Welcome MisoDashi. I can relate to all your comments. I was diagnosed a couple years ago at 52 and medication also helped, but like you, when it wears off the symptoms come back with a vengeance and the cone down isn’t easy. I take a booster IR release with a XL in the morning when I need it most and then have a booster for the afternoon if I need it. Works great. But I also see a therapist each week who helps a lot.

MisoDashi profile image
MisoDashi in reply to

Thanks for sharing!

Therapy I think will be an essential component for me as well. My therapist isn't really into medication though and the last two sessions have been a strain on me - it feels like he's judging me. He's been very effective for me in the past. I am not sure how it's going to go forward with him though. Changing a therapist is hard with my insurance. I will have to see how it develops, I guess.


in reply to MisoDashi

It’s so frustrating, when I went on meds, it completely changed everything. I don’t know if your therapist can prescribe meds. In the US, your doctor or a psychiatrist, which is also a doctor, are the only ones that can prescribe meds and the therapist is meant to help you with tools to use with your worst symptoms. It takes a lot of work, but well worth it. Feel free to message me anytime.

wtfadhd profile image
wtfadhd in reply to MisoDashi

hi MisoDashi,

what do you mean by” my therapist isnt really into medication”?

im wondering if your therapist expressed that they have a bias towards ADHD medication treatment or is it it something else…. if its something else, i encourage you to bring it up in session and get to the bottom of it.

obviously if a client is engaging in self harming or self defeating behavior then its the therapist job to point it out. however, a person with ADHD who is taking stimulants as prescribed, is NOT self defeating. ❤️

Gettingittogether profile image
Gettingittogether in reply to wtfadhd

I literally screamed at a therapist I went to who immediately took issue with me being on antidepressant medication. I don't think I was on ADHD meds yet--or maybe I had just started.

I called and canceled the next appointment, left a message. He returns the call and asks me to come back at least once more. I called him back this time leaving a message that his thinking was ignorant and stupid and I didn't want to see him at all.

My antidepressants saved my life ... helped me through one of the hardest periods of my life--and this idiot (who I could tell didn't know much about medication) was criticizing what had saved my life.

Thank God for medications. I'm willing to try to come off my antidepressants at some point ... I'd do so very gradually, like over a year or year and a half. But frankly, I didn't realize how depressed I was or how happy I could be until I got on antidepressants. So antidepressants help me figure out what the goal is for my therapy.

ADHDKitty3 profile image

I am 33 and have a similar story to yours.

Self-diagnosed about a year and a half ago. Officially diagnosed 6 months ago. In my humble opinion, it is perfectly normal to mourn the person you could have been. You think of all the mistakes you could have avoided, where you were, or who you could have been. Take your time with it. Mourn, accept those emotions. Figure out who you really are. The unmasked you, the real you. Then and only then you will be able to find YOUR path, not the path society has told you to take. Exercise, good sleep hygiene & healthy eating will help the meds. Also, figure out all sides to you. I was recently diagnosed with OCD as well. It is very common to have comorbidity along with ADHD. I not only need Concerta but also serotonin in the form of Lexapro. This is just me. Just know you are not alone :) I hope this helped you in some way or another.

MisoDashi profile image
MisoDashi in reply to ADHDKitty3

Mourning...using that word resonates a lot with me. I haven't been giving myself that space, though I've been telling myself that I'm trying to. In so many ways it feels like a rebirth at times, but I suppose that won't really happen until I have processed and mourned other aspects of what the diagnosis means to me.

Exercise, sleep and healthy eating is very much essential. Thanks for the reminder.

The unmasked me...the phrasing of this also resonates a lot. This has been a life-long battle for me. Hiding. Compensating. Over-perfecting. Exhaustion. Confusion. Indecision. Half-started projects. It feels overwhelming to be breaking out of that, but it's also something I want so badly. I've been telling myself for years that I need more time. Now, I'm saying it again and I would like to work on accepting that I need more time.

I guess what's causing a bit of a hurdle there is also that I have to start with a new psychiatrist next week because the one I've been going to for the last two years is retiring. So, I'm feeling like there is some support missing navigating all of this. I will have to be patient though.

Until then, encouragement and sharing from people like you is very helpful.

in reply to MisoDashi

Even though it’s a hassle to change psychiatrist, this one may be more open to using medication. Keep us posted on how that goes.

Thesmallthings profile image

Hello MisoDashi. I was diagnosed a couple of months ago and I am 51. It was a shock to get the diagnosis. I too wonder what my life would be like if I was diagnosed earlier in life. I think it's perfectly normal to feel this way. I look at it like this, I have made this far in life with all the struggles and now have some hope it will only be better in the future. Right now I am trying to it take one day at a time. It's all I have right now while I wait for my first psychiatrist appointment.

MisoDashi profile image
MisoDashi in reply to Thesmallthings

One day at a time! Absolutely. Good luck with your appointment.

Gettingittogether profile image

Tell your provider about the medication wearing off. They can adjust for that.

MisoDashi profile image

On it!

in reply to MisoDashi

Oh yes, that’s quite normal. I changed dosages and tried two other meds before I found the right one and mix. My pharmacist told me there are many different combinations that doctors use depending on the patients symptoms. I need more in the morning (right now), I take both a long acting and instant release adderall when I wake up. I feel it in 30 minutes and I’m good through lunch. If I have some meetings after 3, when the Adderall is wearing off, I can take a booster so I don’t crash and still function. This works perfect.

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