Hi everyone. (and my mind goes blank on what to write...)
I started exploring a possibly neurodivergent mind over a year ago and although I feel a bit more knowledgeable, I am no less lost. It's pretty unhelpful that traits of ADHD, Autism and HSP overlap but here I am. At this point I think I might be dealing with inattentive ADHD and I've known I'm an HSP for years.
I'm at a pretty low point right now. I could call it hopeless, but little bits of hope come to me sporadically. A better word might be burnt out. I've had disabling health issues for the last 20 years. At this point I'm pretty sure the anxiety I deal with stems from ADHD quite a bit. I've been in surgical menopause (with HRT) for over 2 years (to calm PMDD) and Ive read that ADHD traits can become more prominent in menopause. surgical menopause support groups confirm this.
I have an ADHD/Autism assessment scheduled mid October. I'm struggling to write down things/watch videos that bring awareness to what I deal with and remind me of what's "normal". Any advice on preparing for assesments? I afraid that I'll say things incorrectly/not describe it well enough, not be diagnosed and not get the help I need. I don't want to keep living like this. I've had enough, thank you very F much!
Right now I'm hoping to connect with a small group of people to help get me through this. I need help and I have trouble putting what I need into words,
Beth
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I also identify as a highly sensitive person (HSP), which only I learned about a couple of years before I got my ADHD diagnosis. I think that many people with ADHD and/or ASD are HSPs (even though the researcher who introduced the world to the idea is HSPs insisted that it's mutually exclusive from ADHD; I think that she was mistaken in that particular view, even though I think she was very insightful regarding HSPs, in general).
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It's good that you're reaching out. I know that it can be hard to do so when feeling burnt out and dealing with anxiety.
Writing down everything that you can about your struggles with attention should be a big help, since part of the assessment is based on your history.
• Try to recall details about frequency of your struggles with attention, and try to recall specific examples ranging from your youth to the present.
• If you have any report cards or other academic records with statements that include observations that seem like ADHD, include them, too.
• For adult ADHD diagnosis, some diagnosing doctors or mental health professionals may want statements from parents or others who observed your behavior in your youth, and if you are in a relationship, then perhaps a statement by your partner. (I was diagnosed by a certified mental health counselor, and she didn't ask for statements from anyone else, even though my parents lived in the same town, and I had prepared them for it. I was married at the time, and my wife insisted that I don't have ADHD...and she didn't acknowledge my diagnosis until about a year after it was official. I was diagnosed by the counselor, and got a second opinion confirmation from my doctor before he would prescribe medication.)
I also have anxiety, and I know that increased anxiety makes my struggles with ADHD worse, but also that my ADHD makes my anxiety worse.
(I think that HSP is more of a benefit than a liability, but I do think that it adds to the sensitivity that contributed to my anxiety.)
I really relate to your post, a lot! I’m 52, peri-menopausal, and the last 3-4 years I’ve really started to see my glaring symptoms. I have a psychiatrist appt mid-October and I am ready to ask for medication. I’ve been using the Notes app in my phone to jot things down as I remember them. There are so many things I’ve done over the past 30 years that I either excused because I’m just ‘defective’, or I chalked up to depression and anxiety. I, too, see how many of my situations and states have arisen from my undiagnosed ADHD. It makes me sad and I feel hopeless at times. I just joined this group because I use 12 step groups for support and my therapist thought perhaps a group could help support me through this. Please keep us posted. I’ll carry you with me.
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD till 2021, at the age of 56.
Here is my story, it may be useful to you. I will answer any questions you may have. I hope you get relief soon. It is so unjust that the medical system has not studied women and how to maintain our health.
I struggled with extremely painful PMS and periods from the start (age 17), and frequent bladder infections. It was terrible because doctors would tell me to "Buck up, Sister" as in "all other females can handle the pain" so get tougher! The bladder infections started much younger, but got a lot more frequent and more painful as a teenager. Then my Mom got diagnosed with Endometriosis. It was the 1980's decade, and the doctors literally said "well you got this (Endo) because you are in an upper management position (Director of Special Ed for a County). You see, women shouldn't work in higher level jobs, the stress causes these problems." So they gave her a hysterectomy and took out one ovary; she was in. her late thirties! (I am very passionate and full of rage about the lack of research, knowledge and understanding of Women's Health and diseases of the reproductive organs and genitalia).
I started Perimenopause at 37 years old, it was 2002. This made everything worse. More pain, more fatigue, depression and anxiety took over my brain. I was put on SSNRI antidepressants, nothing else. Then the Gynecologist put me on "low dose birth control pills" and said it would help the pain. I was already regular, like clockwork, 28 day cycle. My periods were short, with light flow. The only suspect issue was severe pain. It wasn't just the uterus cramping, it radiated. Wrapping around my hips and shooting down my inner thighs, I was unable to stand. Nothing changed on the BC pill. The next doctor (yes, got another opinion) said to stay on the BC pill, but don't stop it for the week (when you take the sugar pills and your period starts), just start a new pill pack. He explained there was no reason to have a period every month, and I had already had my children so no problem.
I got a 2 month break: 8 weeks without a period and without the pain of having one. It was the best 2 months of my menstruating years! Then my body took over. It over-rode the BC pill, and the cramps came on, hard. My period started within 24 hours. I know I have a strong body and excellent metabolic health. I rarely get sick, I was a professional fitness instructor for over 30 years. The Gynecologist was a at a loss. He diagnosed me with Endometriosis. He did an ultrasound (shows nothing) and explained that the diagnosis of Endo can only be validated via surgery. I asked for the first available surgery date. In December of 2007 I had surgery to excise the endometriosis tissue that was growing in my pelvic cavity, wrapping around my ovaries and other organs. The ongoing treatment after the surgery was to continue on the BP pill; taking it continuously for 3 months, then taking the 7 days off (sugar pills) to have a period. This would mean only 4 periods a year, and hopefully the endometriosis didn't grow back.
I had about 6 months that were excellent. Then 3 months that were tolerable, but I could tell the pain was coming back. Then it was full blown and included an old agony: bladder and urinary pain. That was diagnosed as "chronic UTI's" and treated with home testing and the ability to email the doctor with the results and get antibiotics. This happened so often I am not able to take several classes of antibiotics, including Sulpha drugs. I was referred onward, to a Gynecologist who specialized in Endometriosis and Interstitial Cystitis or "IC" (now called Painful Bladder Disease) and she was also a surgeon. She treated me based on suspected IC and Endometriosis. When the pain got to be too much, she offered me the "chemical menopause" using hormones or surgery. I chose surgery. In December of 2010 I had a hysterectomy and cervix removal, endometriosis excise or cauterize lesions and over an hour of untangling my ovaries (to save them) from a thicket of adhesions that had formed and were pulling on other organs in my pelvic cavity. She also did a cystoscopy to look at the lining of my bladder, thus confirming the diagnosis of Interstitial Cystitis.
Things went on and were still awful. Then when I was around 52, I was most likely in menopause. I had not had a period since 2010 (the best part of a hysterectomy), so I was guessing. I pushed, and finally my latest Gynecologist agreed to test me. She tested Follicular Stimulating Hormone (FSH) and it was very high! This is a measure of how hard your body is trying to start ovulation, it pumps out more FSH but the ovaries are shutting down and don't respond to the signal. Estrogen production has ceased. I started HRT (using the patch type) to ward of genetic Osteoporosis and felt great! I no longer have the IC symptoms (the bladder infection pain without an actual infection) and that seems to be due to menopause! Nice side effect!
In terms of HRT and ADHD. I did read about a connection and discussed it with my Psychiatrist and my Gynecologist. We increased my Adderall (15mg in the morning) and added a little more estrogen cream. So far, seems to be working. If I am under more stress than is usual, I will take another 5 mg of Adderall in the afternoon.
Yes! And it seems the wringer continues, as a post menopausal woman. I am still fighting to get doctors that listen, and use their own knowledge and experience to help me. I am shocked (at this point I shouldn't be shocked) that doctors have so little training in Women's Health, and after you cross into post menopausal, the training is a big ZERO. Meanwhile, capitalism takes over, marketing a shit ton of crap to treat post menopausal symptoms. So women all over the world will spend money on useless junk that is NOT researched, It is so easy to spend $30-50 bucks, hoping you will find relief. Then you read, see or hear about another product, and try again. These companies operate like cheap health clubs, they just want you to pay the "initiation fee" and a small monthly amount, counting on you quitting the gym. There is no cap to how many people can join, hence the constant "sales" and " membership specials" that continue all year long.
When it comes to the post menopausal "market"; doctors are leaving their jobs to be part of internet start ups selling crap that the FDA has never even investigated, much less "approved" for treatment. UGH. I am a bit obsessed about this problem.
Mind going blank is a freeze response. Understand what causes that and you world will change for the better. I reccommend listening to the book The Body Keeps the Score. It goes over typical responses we have to stress and anxiety and what causes them. It's a life changing book.
As far as a writing strategy, there is a great tool out right now that can help you get started. Use AI (ChatGPT) and ask the question, "Help me write an outline on the following subject that identifies these key points." Having AI write an outline for you will help you move forward towards writing your own document. AI is great for those of us with ADHD...and if someone has a problem with it... who cares. You have a disability and this is an accomodation.
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AuDHD?
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HELP! New diagnosis at 50!
New here looking for answers. 
