Struggle busing here

[Bbloehr]

I work full time nights, have 4 kids and trying to go for my MSN. Having a really rough time finding motivation for my class work. Any tips?

[Gettingittogether]

Just the basics. Since you posted here, do you have ADHD or suspect you have it?

The only basic issue you could have is depression. Even mild depression can kill motivation.

Now, explain what you mean by motivation--you are having trouble concentration? Or sitting down to study in the first place?

Some more basics. You have four children. How is your sleep?

More subjectively, what do YOU think is going on? What do you find yourself doing in place of what you think you "should" be doing?

[STEM_Dad]

To recap: * You're a parent to 4 kids

* You work full time

* You work nights

* You are in an MSN program (which makes perfect sense for a Master's of Science in Nursing, because I believe you had posted previously that you work in healthcare)

You've definitely got a lot going on!

First of all, I think that you're awesome for all that you're doing!

I'm a parent to 4 kids, but mine are very spread out. (They are ages 29, 21, 11, and 8...so I'm only raising the youngest two, at the moment. I am divorced, and have the kids half the time.)

I have trouble keeping up with stuff at home, so I haven't tried anything other than a few online training modules (as much as I want to go back to school).

-----

Questions for you... (You are not obligated to answer any of them, if you don't want to or if you think that they are too personal.)

• What is the age range of the kids?

• Do you have a partner or anyone else to help you with them?

• Are you able to get enough rest to function well? *

• Are you diagnosed with ADHD? If so, what presentation, and are you on any ADHD medication?

• How far are you into the MSN program, and how far do you have to go?

• Does the college offer any form of assistance or academic counseling?

• Can you team up with any of your classmates to be a body-double or study buddy?

*I've only had two night jobs, both in my late 20s when I was newly married and could share childcare with my wife. I found it hard to function well during the daytime while working nights, so I switched back to day jobs only.

*My dad, however, worked nights at a hotel when he was earning his MBA, and found that it was the best time for him. He functioned well at night and could study when work was slow. My mom worked as a waitress part time, and she later worked at the hotel, but she was home with us kids and much as she could be, and my dad was home when he could be (but had to hit the books). - The one thing that almost derailed school for my dad wasn't work or family obligations...it was TV. He couldn't resist taking lots of "breaks" from studying to watch TV. It was a distraction that he couldn't afford to waste his attention on. What saved his grades was when a toy (my dad's toy cable car) fell and broke the TV screen. He couldn't afford to fix or replace the TV, and his grades shot right up!

(I'm pretty sure that I inherited my ADHD from my dad, and possibly from both parents, since my mom seems a little Inattentive, just not as bad as me.)

[Bbloehr in reply to STEM_Dad]

Hello.

My kids are 18 still in high school, 16, 11, and 5.

I am married. He helps out a lot and is supportive.

The days that I work I get about 5-6 hours of sleep. When I’m off I get 6-8 hours.

I am diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD, GAD, and panic disorder. My panic is pretty much controlled because it stems from the adhd and the GAD. I take Vyvanse on the days I work and short acting adderall on days off. I take buspirone and lexapro for anxiety. PRN clonazepam for panic. Haven’t had to take it in over 6 weeks!

I am still at the beginning of my masters program. If I go straight through I’ll finish the spring of 2025.

My college has accommodations in place for me, but I am finding it stressful to keep having to remind the instructor of them. My advisor and I had a meeting and made a plan. I tried to setup weekly meetings with my instructor but I can’t get her to setup specific days and times with me. My program is online and I’ve haven’t had an issue with online classes before. I’ve completed three associates and a bachelors degree. Most of my nursing degree was online because of COVID. I feel like I need that part where the instructor goes over the lesson and what is expected on the assignment. Even if it’s just a video or PowerPoint with voice over. Both programs I have tried is all reading directions and reading in the books then writing assignments.

I should reach out to classmates. That’s a good idea.

I started out strong. Emailed my instructor to setup meetings to go over assignments for the week and to have the opportunity to ask clarifying questions. I also sent her a copy of my accommodations and asked for confirmation that she received it. She confirmed the accommodation notification and referred me to a video announcement ( that she had forgotten to post) I emailed her like 3 times over the next week for help on an assignment and to setup meetings to no avail. I called her and we did have a nice conversation about an assignment and about losing points on a couple assignments that should have been protected by the accommodations. She said she would look back at the emails I had sent her and change the grade as long as I had sent them before the assignment was due. She still hasn’t changed them.

I don’t want to put the blame on her. I being hard on myself because I feel like I should just understand what is expected of me. It has been difficult to get started on assignments because I get stuck on little nuances in the directions. I feel like her lack of support, the markdowns on assignments that should be protected and my lack of having clarity on the directions is draining my motivation to complete them. So I end up doing so much research on the topics that the assignment is super late and then I get markdowns for that as well….I am just so frustrated with it.

[STEM_Dad in reply to Bbloehr]

I'm glad that you've got support at home, medication that's helping, and that the school counselor worked out accomodations with you. I'm also glad that you've done so well with online school previously. (Some people do well with the format of online school, while others do not.)

From what you've shared, is seems that the difficulty is with the lack of communication by the teacher. I'm sure we've all had difficulty with teachers like that before...I know that I certainly have.

You've made the efforts to reach out to the teacher. As far as scheduling a weekly meeting, I would presume that you asked the teacher when they are available. I've learned in the working world that sometimes the opposite tactic works better...you pick 2 or 3 times that would work for you, and ask the teacher which of those works for them.

Also, make a few bullet points in the meeting invite as a basic agenda. Something like:

• discussion on current assignment or topic

• feedback on previous assignment/topic

• other Q&A

Schedule the meeting for half an hour, but say that you'll try to keep it to only 20 minutes, and that you can email any further questions.

Make sure to update your advisor about the difficulties you've had with the teacher, and ask what to do about it. (I worked at a university for 10 years in the IT department, and knew some students who had to go above the teacher's head to the Department Head or even the Dean of the College to get the school's commitment to accomodations upheld. Sometimes the school's disability support services has to get involved. It didn't always work, and sometimes made the teacher resentful, but more often was helpful in the situation.)

[Bbloehr]

these questions are really helpful. It’s got me thinking about what is really going on and why it’s not working for me right now. I really appreciate this so much