ADHD mom looking for support/advice

[iKarlikinsss]

my story is pretty long.. but in December 2020 after a year of self diagnosis and research, i was diagnosed adhd, cptsd, gad & mdd. I was also “misdiagnosed” bipolar the past year and a half.. long story. Anyway my diagnosis, my fathers death and my slow demise at work led me and my ex-husband to divorce.

It’s been a long chaotic battle. My ex husband is a therapist, and I am the resident “crazy lady” aka traumatized and neurodivergent and unsupported my entire life… with addict parents!

my son is 4, showing signs of ADHD, and everyone else (even my other diagnosed adhd family members) think I’m making it about me and it’s too early to diagnose my son.

I am now in a custody battle and my narcissistic ex has money and his parents and my family behind him. I have me, my recently diagnosed mom, and that’s about as far as my actual support network goes.

No one understands adhd, no one understands mental health, and I’m being gaslit and manipulated and financially abused.

i was the breadwinner for years, and then my husband left me. He lives with his parents and I’m dying on my own. Never had credit cards, now in even more debt from my ex, a recent relationship, and massive student debt and underemployment…

my entire life i have been trying so hard, and because the world doesn’t understand adhd and or know how to support any of us, i am expected to defy gravity and not talk about my disability even though I JUST FOUND OUT AND NOW MY ENTIRE LIFE MAKES SENSE… * eye roll *

and now my baby. He’s just like me, and showing signs of adhd. He’s been in OT and food therapy 3 days a week the past year. My ex accepts a SPD (sensory processing disorder) diagnosis from just before he was three, but when i bring up adhd and arfid for myself to tell them they think I’m trying to self diagnose.

I don’t even know how to navigate this many peoples ignorance. I can’t afford legal help or good legal help. I argued with a “great” lawyer about adhd “not being a disability” recently… I’m exhausted… everyone thinks i need to mask better and I’m tired of explaining and losing relationships because i will never be neurotypical

any advice or just like vibes or maybe parents in custody battles..

just please don’t tell me not to talk about adhd that’s all i ask lol

[Knowingme]

Hi thanks for sharing your story I was diagnosed at 45 with ADHD and depression. My life was in termile before this but I blocked it out. I'm manic and can't deal with all my actions and from lying, cheating and gambling have lost my family, I know my story is different but I just wanted you to know it's hard to find people to understand you and your actions and unfortunately people think it's not your diagnoses it's just the way you are. Keep your chin up and keep believing in you

[Tormented555 in reply to Knowingme]

I think I have an SPD as well. Life sure isn't easy, esp when afflicted with ADD