Improvements, but

[aWorriedOne]

I have improved my ability to be a bit more neat. I've made my bed every day and I've organized the clutter in my room, tossing what I don't need. I've been taking care of my body and eating at least twice a day. Because of this focus on that, I realized it's been over a week since I had touched the rest of the house.

I know I'm doing better with taking care of my personal space and self, but I catch myself second guessing and the temptation to be super critical is teasing the edge of my mind because I'm struggling to engage the accrued mess. But as I expand my bubble, everything else will slowly fix up as well, right?

[PinkPanda23]

Hello! I'm on this same path and looking forward to responses to your question. I've been getting up with my new alarm clock for about a month, spending more time outdoors, and doing daily chores I've agreed to do. They are simple, mostly, but they take concentration - straighten the bed, get the mail, close the blinds in ALL the rooms and not get distracted halfway through the house, plan, shop for and cook lunch and dinner every day, etc. I get ridiculously proud to keep on top of these things, but can't yet add more to my list without forgetting something else. (We are retired, and have discovered a lot more about my ADHD since I haven't been heading off to work every day and squeezing other chores into nights and weekends.) My therapist suggests that I approach home like a job, using lists and timers and structure to move myself along and accomplish things. I, on the other hand, spend time on my phone, tablet or laptop for hours and feeling guilty because I'm not productive and not spending enough time doing things with my spouse. I am unmedicated, by the way, due to side effects and having a pacemaker. So, I'm keen to hear what others tell you, and welcome you into this terrific community of people who understand.

[BlueOptimistic in reply to PinkPanda23]

I too found retirement without any structure was too much for me and I went to get adhd strategies and rx. Learning about adhd and me now is very helpful.

[writer35]

That's how it works for me, AWorriedOne - once I am able to slowly teach my brain to care for one thing, then it becomes easier to add another small thing, then another, and it all adds up. I've become a neat person, which is wild. Keep going!

There's also a tactic called "habit stacking" where, when you have one habit down really well (like, making coffee in the morning), add another step right after. So I make coffee and I take my vitamins and meds. One habit, one that I find pleasurable, triggers another neutral one. I still forget sometimes if I get distracted by something else but it generally works. I have a whole system of habit stacking from a grocery store trip and I've been doing it so long that it feels almost pleasant. Occasionally I just stick the cold stuff in the fridge and leave the rest of it out till I have energy but that's just life. Good luck!

[KarlaJo in reply to writer35]

I like the concept of Habit stacking.

[aWorriedOne in reply to writer35]

Thank you for telling me that term! I think I was doing that on my own without really knowing what i was doing, but now that I can look up habit stacking tips and tricks