One thing I'm struggling with is the motivational brick wall that seems to come out of nowhere.
My day or week may be going well. Getting things done. Feeling capable. And then out of nowhere this wall appears in my brain that prevents me from doing anything. No warnings. No emotion or feeling attached to it. It's so frustrating.
Adderall has been a big help to me get through the day. But it's still a daily struggle. Is this brick wall just because of ADHD? Or some childhood trauma? Or laziness? Or am I just making this all up? Should I be taking my meds? Should I not be taking my meds?
Looking for advice on how others deal with this. Especially the conflict between just accepting it's ADHD and it's okay.
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MrQuest
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I'd say it's not laziness and that you're not making it up. If it either of those, you wouldn't be here trying to figure it out so that you can fix the issue.
Have you heard of the Wall of Awful metaphor? The host of the ADHD Essentials podcast, Brendan Mahan, came up with that. I'll link to the HowToADHD videos when he was a guest and introduced the metaphor and ways to deal with the wall.
For me, it's usually my ADHD that is the cause, lacking the motivation to do something. Sometimes I think it's anxiety or depression doing it to me. But when it's like I just have zero motivation, I'm sure it's ADHD.
Thanks for this. It's so interesting learning more and more about ADHD. I've spent my whole life using the "door" trick to get through the wall, without even knowing it. That is, until it stopped working. Guess I need to finally starting looking up at it and start climbing!
Thank you for contacting CHADD National Resource Center on ADHD. Would you be interested in join a support group of adults with ADHD? Perhaps hearing their experiences and having additional support would be beneficial for you. Here is the link to our CHADD support groups. chadd.org/affiliate-locator/
I can only speak from my own experience, but I have the exact same issue. It immediately makes my inner dialogue start up with a rant about how ineffective I am, or how lazy I'm being - but that's BS. Someone recently wrote, "If you were lazy, you'd be enjoying yourself." That has really helped me in reframing that inner critic. I don't know about you, but when I hit that wall - I'm definitely not enjoying myself, I'm criticizing myself and pushing myself to do SOMETHING.
I would speculate that it's 100% your ADHD. When the dopamine isn't there, we're kind of stuck in sludge. It's not something we're doing wrong, it's simply the way our brains are wired.
These don't always work - as nothing seems to "always" work for us - but there are certain tactics you can take to try to get the things done you need to do.
Offering accountability is something we do a lot of in my virtual assistant agency, as that seems to help a lot of ADHDers get things done that they can't bring themselves to do on their own. Is there someone you can be accountable to? Body-doubling, where you have someone with you while trying to get something accomplished - either in person or over a Zoom call - also seems to help a lot. It's kind of like when you have to do the dishes, but nothing in you will walk to the kitchen to start - and then a friend offers to hang out and talk with you while you're doing it, making it a lot easier to get those dishes done as you're engaged in something enjoyable at the same time. Honestly, as simple as that sounds - it's been magic with the clients in my agency. We've also found that if you can start a task - any task - that creates at least a little dopamine (so, a task you maybe don't mind so much, or better yet, enjoy), by riding that dopamine, it helps move you on to the tasks that your brain is refusing to engage in. I have personally found that when I'm good and truly stuck in that rut, getting up and moving my body in some way (20 jumping jacks, for example) helps get the good hormones flowing through my body, and while it's minimal - it does help me get over the hump sometimes.
Those are not "end all, be all" strategies, but they can be helpful sometimes, based on my experience.
Mainly, be kind to yourself. When you hit that wall, take stock of what your body and mind might need. Try to catch and stop yourself when the self-criticism starts. We've lived with thinking it's laziness, or that we're flawed, or broken - and undoing that inner dialogue is crucial (albeit, not easy). Beating ourselves up for not being able to accomplish things is actually counterproductive. It's adding discouragement on top of our brains simply being the way they are. Sometimes we need to get up and walk away from the thing that we seem to be stuck on, engage in something else for a time - preferably something that brings you some form of pleasure - and then try to return to it when we're in a slightly different state of mind.
Just some food for thought. Wishing you all the best!
This is so true. Even if I find a distraction that helps relieve some feelings of hopelessness, I'm still miserable. I'm just learning about Body Doubling. I'm usually too socially anxious to think about having to interact with someone else, but this seems doable in a "just being there" kind of way.
stimulant meds help my partner with this feeling. However, he hits that wall when the meds wear off. He takes boosters in the mid day to make the slump hit him slower, so he can manage it better. If you fee this way and want to manager manually (other than meds), try using a timer or even a person to bug you so you can be held more accountable. Thats what helps me.
I'm also taking IR in the morning with an optional half dose in the afternoon. A checkin timer in the afternoon might be a good idea as I don't seem to be noticing that I'm losing my focus.
I think acceptance of one’s disability is key. I was diagnosed later in life and have been struggling with realising all the hurt and harm I have inadvertently caused - my life makes a lot more sense. This doesn’t CURE, but gives some alternative to the self loathing. How harshly do we judge others with disabilities? Like it or not, ADHD is a disability. I’d rather be hearing voices and baying at the moon - at least then people would know I wasn’t right in the head - now people just think I’m a jerk.
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