Post surgery-what to do to stay positive?

[WK572023]

My husband recently had a minor procedure. He cant work for 6 weeks, & cant lift anything. I was worried that he would be very unmotivated, its a week into this time off. Already he is getting caught into the tv vortex. I say that because it is like he just stares into it all day long! I know we all need down time i get that. My struggle with him is that he has few hobbies, interests, motivations aside from this. He loves to play golf however thats out until later. He doesn’t read much & Im at a loss to get him motivated. He normally thrives to do physical things & help others. How can I help him, get him out of this funk? keep myself positive & sane & not feel like the Mom person here?!

[BlessedLady]

His body needs to heal. In order for that to happen. He needs to rest. If he likes being up doing things I can assure you he does not like just watching TV. Recovery time from surgery varies depending on the type of surgery, overall health, age, etc. Medication given for pain makes some people not want to do anything. That goes away when the pain medication is no longer needed.

Have you sat on the couch with him and watched TV ? This is only for a short time. You and he need to be patient and give his body time to heal and recover

[Gettingittogether]

Some depression is common after a lot of surgeries. Not necessarily deep depression, but definitely the blues. Especially during the period of recovery when recovery isn't going as fast as the patient would like.

Depends on your marriage. Can you go with him to his next appointment with his surgeon or any doctor? And tell them of your observations?

The other thing you can do is GET HELP FOR YOURSELF. You married someone who under-functions if I read your correctly and what's more you're bored by his lifestyle and his lack of activities and hobbies. Those are major issues.

I say get clear on your own feelings and your own options with a good therapist. It's really hard to respond constructively in your situation without outside help. Just really hard.

[BlessedLady in reply to Gettingittogether]

I thought he was functioning less due to his surgery. If that is the case this is temporary during recovery. If I misread it and it is Not temporary due to surgery. They definitely need to see a marriage counselor.

[WK572023 in reply to BlessedLady]

This lack of interest & hobbies has been an ongoing thing for years. He comes from a family of undiagnosed ADHD. He has been on meds for it for awhile, & i read & found his resource here. This outlet has been very helpful & validating for me. The day to day struggle however is still difficult though. Its seems outside of work, money or golf there arent many interests. I was on a search for therapists & that hasnt been easy either. Our insurance seems to be limited. Thank you all for your words of encouragement!

He had a hernia surgery

[BlessedLady in reply to WK572023]

Look for Psychologists your insurance covers in your area and also marriage counselors. If this has been ongoing for a long time. There is a reason it is now bothering you to this point. That reason might be the root of the problem that you are unaware of.

[adburger]

Sounds like he just had rotator cuff surgery. I had it about a year and a half ago. I quickly began doing everything I could with my left hand, worked online, cleaned the house, worked out my left side and legs. I looked forward to a full recovery and never stopped. Assuming he's in PT, they usually will give you at home exercises to maintain range of motion and keep the blood flowing. It's all about the gratitude that you'll get better and life will be better. Thank God we have access to these surgeries.

[WK572023 in reply to adburger]

Umbilical hernia

[adburger in reply to WK572023]

Wow, that was an easy one, I was good in a week. He'll be fine in no time.