possible ADHD?

[mt06082005]

So its been a couple of months (even more now that I think about it--just kind of brushed it off) since I've started suspecting I have ADHD.

As a child, I would constantly be:

disengaged in classes - one thing i distinctly remember doing is looking through my textbook as my teacher was speaking and reading a completely unrelated lesson (smth i still do as a 17 y/old),

procrastinating most work- as a child I would constantly get up from my chair and do 100 different tasks but focus on my school work if it seemed too mentally draining and uninteresting, now I go on online procrastination loops)

huge organization problem-much to my mom's dismay who still has to fix that for me lol ty mom--this also leads to me losing a lot of stuff

constantly be in my head (this has gotten worse with age but yeah...)

hyperfixations that range from Japanese learning to Netflix movies to computers and a bunch of others

impulsiveness- my decision to start learning Japanese was made on a chilly October night just bc i was bored, and it lead to me getting the intermediate proficiency certificate, but it can also be negative as in being impatient about my wants...my parents have often told me off on this by saying I can't have everything I want the moment I ask for it, (which I realise makes me sound like a spoiled brat, and tbh I'm a little bit spoiled and am trying to work on it)

emotional dysregulation--I cannot handle people yelling at me/criticizing me--my body goes into full panic mode and I can't stop crying. the other extreme is getting overly excited about anything positive in my life, to the point where I used to do what my parents like to call flappy arms (I did this until I was in my early teens 10-11 y/old). as a teen the excitement has turned into a much higher vocal pitch and just constant blabbering and questioning)

hyperfocus--when I'm interested in something, nothing can pull me off it--i can spend hours and hours on end and complete it.

All these are 1 or 2 examples from my life that have led to me believe I might be ADHD, and there are tons more that I don't have the space or power to put in this post. However, I'm hugely doubting myself and thinking I'm just exaggerating normal behaviors or that I'm just trying to find excuses for the lazy, clumsy, disorganized person that is me, as I've gone through life fine so far and no one has ever suggested I might have ADHD, just that if I were to focus, be more organized I would be performing and achieving higher at school. However, there's the part of me that's almost certain that I have it to some degree, and that I should go to get assessed for it.

This brings me to my question: based on what I've told you, is an assessment smth I should consider? and secondly--how can I differentiate what I perceive to be ADHD symptoms from things ppl normally struggle with?

[Gettingittogether]

This is a tricky one. One way I tend to look at it is I don't care if what I'm experiencing is "normal." If I'm miserable, that tells me I want a change, and I want treatment and I'm unsatisfied with my life.

Now maybe if I were in the middle of a war zone and my neighborhood was being bombed every day and people around me killed and assaulted, OK, then I might say "yes, my suffering is like other people's suffering." Now, notice. My previous sentences means ALL OF US victims of the war need treatment, not that I do not need treatment. You with me?

The question is: is this tendency and cluster of habits you report interfering with your functioning? If so, talk to a psychiatrist about it.

Talking yourself into "well this might be normal"--I can't think of that being helpful at all.

That's like talking myself into thinking the horrible food I'm eating is actually gourmet and tasty.

You've clearly got something interfering with your functioning. Typically we have layers of denial before even asking whether we have ADHD. The only thing that cuts through that denial is lots and lots of frustration with our lives and a lot of misery and confusion as to what is going on.

So you probably need mental health help of some sort. So might as well schedule an appointment and see what's up. Could be ADHD or something else.

[mt06082005 in reply to Gettingittogether]

tysm--this makes so much sense! layers of denial sounds familiar, until i got to a point in my life (junior year of highschool) where its really important to address what's been there basically since forever so that i can be the best version of me that I can and take all the possible steps to assure I have a bright future.

[Wasted71years]

Hi mt06082005

It is relatively common for those of us with ADHD to doubt the diagnosis initially, a kind of imposter syndrome. Finding a qualified person for a solid diagnosis is important, as that gives some external validation to challenge the internal voice that says it isn't bad enough, or you don't have the condition.

[Nottinghillgirl]

Yes, you should definitely get tested. I don't have adhd myself but for years my husband thought the same thing, "I'm lazy, weird, clumsy and disorganized" which takes a massive toll on one's self-esteem. Once he was finally diagnosed, everything started making sense and he no longer felt so bad about himself. With the help of medication he has been able to be a lot productive and helpful which has done wonders for his self-esteem and allowed him to feel a lot more confident and less sensitive.