I am new. Please h3lp. : I have mixed... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

CHADD's Adult ADHD Support

11,180 members3,002 posts

I am new. Please h3lp.


I have mixed emotions. Diagnosed Adhd. And it is a relief because I understand me a little more. I have a reason for my inability to coordinate all aspects of my life. But I am afraid that I won't be able to have the focus and self love and self discipline to develop the skills necessary to organize and structure my life. I'm sad for myself. Hahahaha. Because I wish it was diagnosed earlier.... Perhaps I would not have become a drug addict and alcoholic. I am now 3 years sober. What an incredible mountain to climb.. Painful but wonderful. And now... There is this. Adhd. Which... Now after doing much reading... I believe is the root of so much pain I endured in my life. What to do next. Please tell me. How the f%#k do I begin. One day at a time. Yes. Being a drug addict and alcoholic I went to rehab and I did the 12 step program and I attend the support groups which are all over the world. And it's free. Totally free. Adhd... There is so little help available around me. There are no support groups... I have googled. There is not one simple book or program with all the instructions outlined. OR IS THERE? PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU HAVE A SOLUTION. I am on Ritalin LA. Day 4. And... I don't know if it's working. Maybe it is. I don't know. I felt it working over the weekend... But at work... I struggle. Even on Ritalin. HELP.

11 Replies

Hi, self help books has helped me SO much, joining healing events that consist of meditation helped me too. Something I should be doing for myself again.

Welcome to the ADHD community and congratulations on getting sober.

I must admit it is frustrating trying to get help for ADHD. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't have the time or patience to read a bunch of books and the online resources I could find were extremely limited. Outside this support group community, my greatest resource has been YouTube, especially the channel called 'How To ADHD'. They give a lot of helpful advice and explain the science behind it in an exciting, easy to follow format.

I also like to try to keep a journal, especially in the weeks surrounding the start of a new medication. This helps me look back at how I was feeling and how the meds made a difference in a more objective manner than simply keeping it all in my head. Memories can be tinted by your current mindset, a journal entry is written the way things actually were at the time it was made.

Again, welcome to the community, I hope you find what you're looking for here

Tanyadhd in reply to happy_kitty

Hey Happy_kitty. Thank you for the reply. I learned some things... Already just from your reply. "memories can be tainted by your current mindset" wow. I am down today and instead of going to work I am sitting at a coffee shop in a corner..quite fearful of even trying today because the fail is so crap. I'm very hard on myself. I want to be successful. I have the ability to... Somewhere in me. I feel it. I was once before. But I am struggling alot. So far I love this community. And I will definitely check out the YouTube channel how to ADHD. I've seen it mentioned a few times.

TLJ828 in reply to Tanyadhd

I love that “memories can be tainted by your current mindset”

That’s is WOW!!!


Hi, Tanyadhd!

Wow! Great posts! I, too was relieved when I was diagnosed with ADHD, GAD, Depression, there's a bit of OCD, also...lol. Christ, if I can't laugh I'll never stop cryin'!

I had been taking anti-depressants for years, Lexapro until it no longer worked. My major problem was ADHD, I just didn't know it. Once it was pointed out to me, my whole LIFE started to make sense!!!

My journey's been so confusing, too. The psychiatrist changed my meds to Cymbalta for depression (I have chronic back pain & Cymbalta helps with pain). Then they added Adderall but kept increasing dosage. I now take 40 mg. XR each morning. The doc added a 5 mg Adderall that I can take no later than 1 pm.

Things were improving but after 6 mos or so I was beginning to feel more confused, agitated & insecure. The next appointment I had with my psychiatrist, I was very honest & honest with her. We discussed whether it was the depression or ADHD. She started me on Welbutrin, mainly used for depression.

This has helped a lot for depression & it does help with focus. I meet with her next week & I'm fairly certain that we'll be adjusting the ADHD meds.

Here are a couple of key things to think about:

Have a good working relationship with your psychiatrist. Be very honest & describe how you really feel. I know I need to be clear at this point as to what I'm looking for. What I need- still - is focus & follow-thru.

I have a therapist who's been very good for me. She is also in recovery. I forgot to mention that I've been sober for 25 years and still go to AA & Alanon meetings & read up on ACOA - Adult Children of Alcoholics. This program gave mr a huge sense of relief and between ADHD & ACOA, my whole life & self have been explained.

My therapist told me that if you don't read anything else about ADHD, read, Delivered From Distraction, by Edward Hallowell, MD & John Ratey, MD. They both have ADHD. They explain it as a condition with benefits as well as detriments. The good doctors encourage us to at least read the first chapter, which is a synopsis of this condition & ways to help. Due to the fact that you have ADHD and have probably never read a whole book from start to finish (lol!). It's great that they come from our field of "focus"and really know what they're talking about.

Lastly.....Patience, faith & hope. You're worth the wait. Even if your family is less than supportive (some think I should have it under control by now).

I was not diagnosed until 60 yrs old! Never lose your dreams, whether they work out the way you had hoped.

Apparently we are super intelligent, so let's get balanced out! In the meantime keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. We aren't hopeless...we're "adjustable". I can hardly wait to meet the new me!

I can't be concerned about what others think about how long it takes, the meds, etc. This is MY life!!!

Take care, chin up & have faith. - Colleen


Tanyadhd in reply to Imakook

Colleen... Wow... Thank you for your open and honest reply. I had tears in my eyes in the end there. Faith and hope. This things makes me feel distant from God. But yes... Faith... Blind faith that despite how I feel.... I am not my feelings and God has not forsaken me. I'm blown away that there is not a 12 step program or a support group similar to AA and NA.

There is no fix all or remedy that works for everyone. My suggestion is breathe!! Youve already climbed mountains and trekked valleys to this point. Finding how this affect and help in ways will be easier than what you’ve already accomplished. Let the medicine work, be patient with yourself and dont get too focused on the labels and stigmas of others.

Tanyadhd in reply to Allwood2004

Good advice thank you. I think I'm really feeding into the stigma and the sheer fear of what lies ahead for me as an adhd human.

First...Congratulations on your recovery!! I am a therapist at a rehab and more of my clients have been or should be diagnosed (not something I can diagnose) but I can see/smell an ADD/ ADHD'r a mile away!! SO yaaaa...their is no support groups and I am often envious of the support and love that my clients get from each other. I just go back to my lonely office and OOOO the endless computer and paper work...teary eye emoji please!

I too wish there was a 12 step support group that was a available in local communities like AA/NA. It is sooo needed, but this platform is better then nothing.

Now your question, for me, my work has a strict schedule and that keeps my mind focused. I do try to take any nano second to drift off....just saying. It took my two years to find the right placement of my office stuff. Ppl at work still make fun of me, but I have the best, trauma informed, and comfortable office in the building. But also you have to find coping skills that work exactly for you. Meds help but you have to make distinct choices and changes in your day.

For example, on my days off if I do not have a full list of things to accomplish, a list of "important stuff" start to spin (in my head) It's like I have a thousand things to do but THEY WILL NOT LINE UP AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO FIRST! I have spend many days sitting and waiting...uggg. My therapist gave me a simple (IT IS NOT SIMPLE!!) grid with Urgent and Very Important, Urgent and (just) important, Not Urgent but Very Important, and Not Urgent and Not Important. I fill that out and tweak it often and that keeps me knowing what is more important then others. Then I build my "ta-do" list from that. It works for me.

Get up and walk or run as fast as you can until your mind is exhausted and will cooperate with you.

I hope this helps and wasn't too long. ADHD is not easy but once you are locked into your super powers, you will love it!!

Keep in touch.



Hi Tanya. Congrats on you sobriety! I relate. I just celebrated 25 on Saturday myself. There are a few groups you can check out on add.org, or your local CHADD chapter. I would go to them first. The closest thing to an owners manual to ADHD is your own body, which you can learn to read to interpret the impact of your thoughts and emotions and detect whether you are dysregulated. That requires mindfulness and curiosity. There aren’t any sponsors for ADHD, maybe because ADHD shows up so differently in each of us? A good ADHD coach or therapist trained in ADHD treatment can help you create strategies tailored to you, though.

I want to congratulate you on your recovery. I can't tell you how, the point you are making is sooooo important. If we, the ADD/ADHD'rs had a loving and supportive group in every town, city, village, etc. like the NA/AA and 12-step is for people in recovering. And how powerful the groups are in changing their life!!

I have to be honest, I have signed up for Zoom meeting with ADD/ADHD. If I was a great person, I would know what meeting it is and what it is called. But I don't...sorry. I will try to connect with you with that information.

But I felt compelled to say, I am so proud of you for fighting everyday for not only being sober, but navigating the ADD/ADHD life. When you can, or maybe have already have, become proud of the "super powers" that you have been born with!

Do not stop reaching out....and keep tinkering with this web site and you will find the support groups that I have talked about. They are somewhere....

Please write often, and support others,


You may also like...