CPTSD

[OldIndigoBlue]

So I'm wondering if anyone here also has Childhood (or Complex) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? if so, have you found some good therapy/treatment for it? How do you feel it impacts your ADHD? I seem to recall Gabor Maté stating that he thinks many issues like ADHD are actually attributable to CPTSD... any thoughts? I did some EMDR several years ago, but not sure it had lasting benefits, and I know that's not the norm, apparently it is "supposed" to "cure" trauma...

[Gettingittogether]

Not a direct answer to your question (though I grew up in a family with a lot of trauma).

But I've been to therapy for various reasons, including depression, adhd, anxiety, simple misery, addictions of various kinds.

My conclusion: the specialty focus is misleading. The best therapists were just the best therapists. And improvement in one area (of the therapist's specialty) had spillover effects to other areas.

I tell people to just find the best therapist you can afford. The top therapists will listen carefully to what you say and begin to map out a way to help you and they will be honest if they can't help you. You have to really like the therapist for this to all work. The patient-therapist bond is the most reliable predictor of how much a patient heals—and that’s on trauma as well. I once attended a trauma conference (with a bunch of counselors) and one of the speakers said one of the most important elements of bonding with a therapist was that you like their voice! Their voice. Amazing.

I have to be honest about one thing: finding a top therapist requires some effort and willingness to dump folks you don't click with. I had one amazing therapist who didn't take insurance. I got so much from her but had to stop because I couldn't afford her. I then looked for therapists who took my insurance ($25 copay), and I ran into a lot of mediocre and downright terrible folks. But I knew enough to keep looking. I think I visited five or six people before I found someone who was brilliant and excellent and who I bonded with.

Generally you should know in three sessions (sometimes you can tell in one or two sessions) whether you really like the therapist, whether you really feel that they get you and feel you, whether you think they are brilliant at what they do, and whether you think they can help you.

[OldIndigoBlue in reply to Gettingittogether]

Thanks for your input!! Yes, that is very interesting that the VOICE can make or break a connection! I'll be paying attention to that!! I've seen a number of therapists in my life, many weren't worth the time. But because I'm elderly and very low income, I don't have the luxury of shopping around. I have an appt Tuesday with my health clinic's Collaborative Care Model counselor; keeping my fingers crossed. After reading an article on "ADDitude" about Collaborative Care Models, I'm hopeful. I do at least have a good rapport with my primary care provider, so that will help. I will just be grateful for the simplest of care at this point - thinking EMDR done "right" might be helpful for trauma work. I also think "Crappy Childhood Fairy" and "Patrick Teahan" on YouTube have been very helpful... I'm amazed at how much is available on the internet. Thanks again.... I'm grinning thinking about listening to people's voices, not just a therapist....LOL!

[Gettingittogether in reply to OldIndigoBlue]

You have admiration for going forward determined to find help.

Collaborative Care model sounds way overdue. Good luck.

Since you don't have a lot of options, I'll amend my recommendation. You can still heal with a not-fantastic counselor, but I've found I have do more work myself and be more assertive in pushing for what I say and shaping the course of counseling in a way that meets my needs.

[lemonspeaks in reply to Gettingittogether]

I do agree with this!

[lemonspeaks]

I have both c-ptsd and adhd. I was diagnosed with c-ptsd many years ago and after years of therapy (mostly talk therapy and some EMDR), I finally got diagnosed with adhd because I was still struggling in ways that I couldn’t pinpoint with trauma. It makes me sad to look back at how much I’ve possibly blamed my trauma for when in reality it was both that and undiagnosed adhd. I will say for the cptsd, inner child healing is what finally made things better. Embracing my inner child and learning how to parent her changed the game for me. For me it also meant totally changing my life. Cutting out the toxic people in my life, even some family members, setting boundaries with everyone in some way. I ended up getting divorced, leaving Christianity, and accepting how I also put myself in toxic situations since I was used to the chaos.

For me, focusing on my trauma gave me the ability to then start figuring out my adhd.

I hope that helps!

[Blimeyohriley]

I had EMDR for complex ptsd for just over two years. It’s just coming to an end now and has made a huge difference. As the traumas reduced my wonderful, very experienced trauma therapist gently suggested I may also have ADHD. The suggestion quite shocked me. She said the symptoms are similar and can be difficult to separate but she started to see it in me after a year of my responses to EMDR. I think it helps that she has both conditions herself.

I was subsequently diagnosed with severe ADHD by a psychiatrist and recently started meds. The difference for me is life changing even though I’m still at the titration stage. I’m 63 years old and feel sad for all those undiagnosed years (for both conditions). I’ve tried for years to get to the bottom of my mental health issues. I hate to knock the NHS but I found them seriously lacking with mental health support - not enough funding - so I went private. I’m lucky I had savings to draw on.

My recovery began when I found my brilliant although quite expensive trauma therapist. But I don’t begrudge the money. Her skills are amazing compared to other therapists I’ve seen throughout my life. I’ve not disliked any of them but looking back I needed an experienced specialist which luckily I found.

I hope that helps even if just a little……

[Choco-Joy]

Hello there, it has been very supportive to me to read your post and replies. I first was diagnosed by my kind PCP with mild ADHD inattentive type at 51, about to turn 53, tried Atomoxetine. Got off in December, thought it messed with my sleep but in reality, I am questioning now if I have ADHD, probably, but the anxiety is more prominent now, and I started seeing a therapist (likes to use DBT, wise mind, mindfulness, and loving kindness treatment), those treatments progressing because now he put PTSD unspecified, rearranging hierarchy of ADHD, anxiety, and PTSD all unspecified diagnoses. I am intrigued by the complex part of PTSD but not sure what it means? I had all types of abuse and neglect as child 6-16 from brothers plus parents not protecting me (both) and one of them manipulating me to be a “star” athlete for all that time before and after my sister’s tragic death when sailing as a USCGA cadet. Youngest of 5, I was left to contend with their grief plus my 3 brothers preying on me, especially one who verbally, physically, and sexually abused me, the bullying being especially damaging because I then felt it safest to comply to the rest. Memories are real but unspecific as to why I responded this way or that. It was like there were all these good experiences plus neglect because my Mother not once protected me or talked to me, no hugs, only the basics plus ways she was comfortable showing affection - birthday gifts, celebrations, or letters later where she shared her current goings on. Grateful for good I received, but it is that I never received the real and structured life and appropriate love I needed to learn how to love myself enough to not be afraid in certain circumstances and stay strong and resilient. I thought I healed that through lots of women’s spiritual journeys work, but not enough. Beginning therapy with a creative person with LPC and trauma credentials though no mention of EMDR, but trauma specialist friend has given me name of other therapist I could use for that if and when needed. Feeling hopeful and will follow you all and let you know if I begin to heal at a deeper level. I am striving to share my art with the world, my only legacy as I am child free. Some books I received that I must read carefully (not too much at once as I tend to overprocess and share what I learn so it stresses me out) are Gabor Mate When the Body Says No, Peter Levine Waking the Tiger, and Bessel Van Der Kolk’s classic The Body Keeps the Score. Sending love to each of you.

[OldIndigoBlue]

Oh thank you all for sharing your experiences and your suggestions! I so appreciate it - the sense of being validated, of being seen, is such a gift. I totally am in the grieving process at this point over "I coulda been a contender" in some way in my life, rather than flitting from relationship to relationship, from one place to live to another place to live (my father was in the Air Force, so I excused my constant moving by saying "It's in my genetics" without realizing how true that may have been!!!), and taking on one hobby after another, one job after another.... I have always felt like an alien, like the proverbial square peg in a round hole. The point about healing at a deeper level - yes, I definitely grok that - I've been pleased in the past 2 years to have my Inner Child, my "Little" tell me her name, and with the encouragement of my bestest friend (who now has dementia) I started doing gratitude journals and now can actually call them art journals - they save my sanity. That and music. I was NEVER encouraged as a child to pursue anything artistic, just "get good grades or you're restricted!" Well, now my "little" gets to play with color and shape and texture, and "we" get in the flow and enjoy art play (it's never art work). AND yet, I have some rather large projects that I want to get organized before I die, and I am having SUCH trouble consistently tackling any of them - going thru old photos, old poetry I wrote for years, a box of memorabilia, making a Spirit Doll for a friend..... I'm also dealing with a lot of health issues and losing my vision, so I feel panicked at times about "getting these things DONE." I did see the counselor this morning (and what a horrible morning I had - someone hacked into my bank account, I got notice that a health provider sent an OVERDUE bill notice and I knew I had an application for financial assistance from them, but... which pile was it in, and how much trauma was it going to be to do that paperwork? So I had to get those things taken care of before going to my 30 minute appt, which I was 15 minutes late for... We'll see how this CoCM works out - I like the woman, but we're obviously going to be moving in a quick format to CBT kinds of things, not doing any deep therapy (and frankly after doing DEEP therapy many times in the past, I feel like maybe it's not good for me to dredge up the past any more..... I didn't used to feel better at the end of a therapy session... All three of my bobble-head buddhas are nodding their heads....LOL!). At any rate, I am grateful for this community of folks with somewhat similar experiences. I hope all of us find moments of peace (but also appreciate our quirkiness and our ADHD gifts).... Thank you all again.

[Choco-Joy in reply to OldIndigoBlue]

I am playing with painting in acrylic and mixed media when I get time, it is great and my stuff shows up in it some. Still, glad I have that and looking forward to therapy with artist/counselor soon.

[Natural_Born_Carrie]

Read "the book of relief" Emily Maroutian.

This is mind-opening account of the magic of affirmations and exercises. Not just exercises but the concept of Trauma being trapped in the body, more specifically in the VAGUS nerve, the largest nerve in the body.

We humans may be able to eventually forgive our abusers but we suffer because the body will not forget!

Exercise your Vagus Nerve.

maroutian.com

[Choco-Joy in reply to Natural_Born_Carrie]

I will check out that book! I have been having that fluttery feeling in my solar plexus and I would not be surprised it is vague nerve. A therapist recently told me to use an ice pack or put head in freezer if feeling panic and mentioned Vagus nerve.

[Doomann]

Hi OldindigoBlue So if you are still wondering why EMDR therapy stopped working, and furthermore im curious how for at least 20 minutes you were abe to focus on someone's hand or wand with out looking away? But anyways im hoping you watch youtube I scourer it daily for information and yes you should never believe anything on the internet.

This was a great video it explained alot and gave great insight on the treatment and why it not much of a chance of working on a ADHD mind.

youtu.be/PZmvk30gJEQ?si=AC8...(Not working as expected?)

If you have trouble using the link the title is.

"A hard look at EMDR and its

unscrupulous founder"

The youtube channel is created by Alison Caldwell and Micah Caldwell

In my opinion this is great channel on youtube for info they seem very credible.

Thank you for reading

Doomann