According to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition), ADHD adult diagnosis includes a stipulation that:"Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms were present before age 12 years."
Some people cannot remember what they were like as kids, and may not have any documentation (such as school records) or anyone (parent, etc) who can verify whether they displayed ADHD traits in their youth.
I have formed an opinion that not being able to remember childhood (particularly before age 12), adults being evaluated for ADHD ought to be given the benefit of the doubt.
... (unless documented injury, illness, or trauma later on could be believed to have triggered the onset of ADHD symptoms... but that's a different matter, entirely)...
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So, here are my questions for you all:
1) Do you remember your childhood?
2) If so, do you remember having ADHD traits?
3) When was the earliest you can recall having ADHD traits (if not in childhood)?
Do you think there are any other questions that should be asked with these?
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I might be in the minority, but I CAN remember my childhood pretty well.
I have predominantly Inattentive ADHD.
I can recall back to about age 4½ (earlier memories), and I can recall anecdotal observations of my Inattentiveness that goes back to age 6.
* I was labeled a 'daydreamer' in my First Grade class. I can remember staring out the window at the beautiful blue sky and the mountains in the background...but I couldn't tell you if I did that once or a thousand times in that class. I just remember it happened. I also couldn't tell how long I was looking out the window, because in my memory, it was as of time was standing still. But, I do know that my teacher told my mom that I was "daydreaming" in class, because my mom told me so later on. (I used this feedback to help me remind myself to try to pay attention in school, because school was important to me.)
* As far back as Third Grade, I can also remember frequently running late to things, forgetting to do my homework (so I hustled to finish it before school, or between classes in high school). - These tendencies have stuck with me all my life since...frequently running late and behind on getting work done, then getting a burst of energy to finish it at the last minute.
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STEM_Dad
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I remember my childhood to a large extent. ADHD traits were there, but this is before ADHD was a thing and especially not for girls.
Lack of impulse control, excessive talking - was always in trouble for that- and a lot of disorganization to name a few. Funny because I was an excellent student and always in the top 5% of my class. I look back now and wonder how I did that haha.
My older brother would probably say the traits were evident as early as 3yo. He watched me dive off the cross bars of our swing set. Nice concussion ensued. Significant lack of impulse control. My proprioception was impaired as well. Quite a bit of sensory issues. I remember being messy from about age 10 on . Still am.
And before anyone points it out that there's a crossover in symptoms to Autism, yes, I do have quite a few mildly autistic traits as well, although not sure I would meet the dx criteria.
I think it's a great idea. If people don't want to tell their story they can just leave it and maybe they feel like it another time.I was also around 4-5, happy in kindergarden, no difference in treatment of boys and girls as far as I recall. I loved being outside in the sandpit and mud and had my mates, friends with everyone. But the day my mother took me there and left me, the first time, it stands out for my world crashing down that day.
Then school. 1972. So many kids and suddenly boys and girls were separated. Not always but in PE and needlework versus free time - how unjust - and there had to be a head girl and a head boy. I was in love with the head boy and annoyed at his non-response eventually spat a big blob of saliva on his nose. Unplanned. Something triggered me. Then breaks. Some boys found out that it hurt to hit the girls on the bare legs. Skirts were mini and bloody hell it hurt. So I turned round and pulled my tormenter by the hair. Naturally light blond his hair stayed in my fist, the little devil cried and I was punished. How unjust again!
I hated the band routine girls had to do. That thing with a silk or satin strip on a stick which had to be twirled to make a perfect spiral whilst doing some stupid dance or ballet routine.
In my school reports it said 'Hominid needs to speed up', '711 constantly chatting' and 'Hominid reminded that snowball fights are not permitted'.
I didn't walk. I ran. My knees were a mess in summer and I spent a few times in hospital with head injuries, one a proper brain bleed.
I remember wondering if one could swing oneself round the top on the swings if one really tried hard. I never managed.
On photos with my 2 sisters you can tell who's got ADHD. Turned towards the camera laughing, eyes wide open, half up and running, plasters on knees and not a care in the world. From school onwards many tears, shyness, angry tears mostly. How unjust everything was. Parents, teachers, other kids. Later devious and I had nothing to fight that with. Naiv. Falling for the wrong kids but not the bullying victim. I'd scream at them or hit back. And always always late. Forgetting pens books etc. Worried increasingly over being late with tests. Maths especially. Anxiety and focus fighting. My writing terrible. And if one had to cut out pictures or draw something to make things look pretty I failed and my mother made me sit 2 days to save what might be salvagable. My room a mess, my mother livid. Daydreaming whenever I could. To escape. Fights with my parents, my mother mostly. Verbal. Arguments but once a slap for pushing over a baby oil bottle and putting a pillow over the stain to hide it. So hard my cheek showed red marks and I was forbidden to see my grandmother in the flat below ours for a couple of days. My skin was very white and the sunburns fierce as I stayed out in Summer as long as I could. Embarrassed endlessly over my short wide red feet when we had swimming lessons. But always jumping from as high up into the pool as possible. Running around the pool jumping in from the sides, big splash, great, angry voices, slipping, falling, bleeding, crying. No doctors back then. One had to be semiconscious for my mother to realise we'd better go. Taking charge of three younger siblings, taking them to the park in the afternoons, really taking care of them. Making them laugh, defending them when my mother sent us back to school too early with the chickenpox and kids made my younger sister cry. I nearly caused a revolt. Challenging teachers in class arguing over interpretation of literature, anything in the times off school I could do to avoid homework which was always hated except for a short year in my teens when I found myself getting top marks in Maths and Physics as a result of feeling competitive and wanting to impress a boy I think. Called to order a lot. Not accepting authority unless it came the benevolent way. Like my teacher the first 2 years of secondary school. A father I would have wanted. Mild-mannered and, I instinctively understood, just a beautiful personality. For him I was top of my class in English. History, Geography, anything where I'd have to memorise I did not follow. To this day I dream of anxiously anticipating an exam where I haven't really been attending lessons, not read the book, made no notes, never seen a schedule or a room even at school. Later I became obsessive about spelling and punctuation, managing mostly to be no more than 10min late, breathing, counting to 10, becoming more philosophical about all these injustices, switching off the tears, becoming confident at least in some ways and facing the enemy or pretending otherwise. Lots of good coping skills but hard won. Still talking and arguing hard and fast and too much for some.
cannot remember my childhood . Maybe less than 10 memories under age 10 if that much. I did remember that I was different, sensitive and the way I thought was not what was expected especially in a culture where non verbalized high standard for academia is the norm. In attentiveness was always in my blueprint along with the feeling of always feeling less than or a little defective. It is the unspoken morn, mediocrity and divergency esp. for a gen x is not acceptable. In retrospect, that in itself is a harsh stressful environment that is generationally cyclic even after I migrated to the US, as we are still a tight knit group. Hence the late dx. Despite being a nurse of >20 years. It’s pervasive. After my dx, over 4 decades later, I feel as if my potential was untapped , stagnated and with the sensation of damn near debilitation due in part to stigmatization. Sorry, don’t know if this helps your inquiry.
I just was curious how many people with ADHD didn't remember their childhood well. It is a phenomenon that I first became aware of on a different ADHD forum (which has sadly been taken down), but I noticed at least a couple of times on this forum, too.
I remember my own childhood pretty well, but only certain memories are clear. Mostly, I remember the narrative of my early life, along with various images, sounds, smells, and other sensations, like how I felt at the time.
I tend to have a terrible memory for details, but a good memory of the "big picture".
(Maybe one day, if I go back to school and get an advanced degree, I might do a formal study on adult ADHD and childhood memory retention.)
what a interesting topic, when quizzed in my adhd assessment I could not recall anything before secondary school, the more they asked the more I realised I had no memory and it baffled me as I’d never thought about it before until I was being asked and I was left feeling a bit worried as to why I don’t remember how I was talked to at home or school or if I got in trouble or if I was quiet or outgoing, I realised I could remember snap shots of being a child like the scene of a picnic, school field, camping, not memories of what took place just can see it, I’m glad to have seen this post as I was a bit concerned as to why I don’t have a childhood memory.
I think looking back I prob noticed a difference between myself and others from the age of 16 I quickly became the one amongst my friends who partied too hard and didn’t study or focus on anything meaningful just didn’t care but would get upset when others did well and moved on to better jobs or higher education, i didn’t eat or I binged, and i certainly didn’t want to settle down in terms of relationships …. This attitude to life last for ten years I would say, in this time I was treated for anxiety and depression at some points not able to working and feeling like I couldn’t ever mentally be able to hold down a job.
My life changed at 29 when I got approached for a job in medical sales and I was hugely successful at it. The work life balance suited me it was flexible and I travelled the country ,the drive to ‘win’ a sale motivated me I became competitive and very invested in my work and I seemed to naturally have a way of talking to people to succeed, my career has progressed a lot and I have a very senior role now.
I got diagnosed with adhd at 35, im now 36 but I accepted ( what I now know is my adhd) a few years ago when I realised what ever made me different made me excel in my area of work and it was now a strength not a weakness.
What makes me wonder is why some people with ADHD can remember their childhood well (as I can), while others like you can't recall much before adolescence.
If I may ask a couple of follow-up questions:
• Which presentation of ADHD were you diagnosed with? (Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive, Predominantly Inattentive, or Combined)
• Are you more introverted or extroverted?
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I have the Predominantly Inattentive Presentation of ADHD. I'm also mostly introverted.
Maybe the reason I can remember my childhood so much is that as an introvert, I live in my head a lot, being introspective of thoughts, ideas, daydreams, memories, visions for the future, etc.
I've become more of an ambivert over time (becoming more extroverted with practice, because that's how most of the population interacts). But, I'm still an introspective introvert at my core.
I remember bits and pieces from age 3 or so. My earliest memories are associated with colors and light and some specific events -- usually where I misbehaved! By age 5 on I remember a lot. Even things like the angle of sunlight, where I was, the colors, smells, people, events in details etc.
I didn't know I had adhd until much much later but I now recognize many childhood symptoms as adhd. From what my mom told me even as a toddler I was impatient and had a quick temper. She told me even at age 2 I would purposely interpret instructions literally (and not what they were intended to be) to make people laugh.
All through school I was allowed to daydream as I basically did very well in spite of not paying much attention in class and because I made students and teachers laugh. I could spend hours drawing, painting, reading, playing with my friends, constructing something or taking apart toys! So basically hyperfocus on whatever activity I was doing!
When I did something I was not supposed to, punishments and timeouts didn't work as I could simply shutout reality and daydream. Luckily my parents & my siblings (all older) understood me well enough so I have happy childhood memories. Actually until age 23 when I graduated. Even later I did ok. I got to work in the field I wanted, etc.
1. Yes. 2. Yes. 3. 3rd or 4th grade. I too stare out the window, which is why my mom told my teachers to put me in the front row of all my classes. I too have memories of my childhood as early as 3 years-old. I was born late. The Dr miscalculated by a month with me.
What I think is ADD/ADHD runs in my family on my mother's side like alcoholism runs in my father's side.
I played a lot of sports growing up, and felt like I was always playing catch up. For me it's avoidance.
I'm gonna have to load that on my computer screen. The text in the image is way too tiny to render on my phone screen! 😂(I normally browse this and other forums on my phone, and use my computer for other stuff, but wow, you had a lot to say!)
Hi STEM_Dad, yes, always alot to say, but also, these are actually very BIG questions when considering childhood from a very late diagnosis point of view. I have found that putting the entirety of ones existance so far through the specialist lens of a neurodivergent brain is an ongoing process of reflection on the nature of every decision, occurrance, failure, achievement, relationship, interaction, emotion, motivation and success that has occurred thus far in life.
So should a memory stir, a smell trigger, a sound, a taste, an idea, a person, in fact anything that is not created from the present moment (the present moment needs this reflection too but being now aware means looking from a very different standpoint), there is a need for me to consider, mostly momentarily, but sometimes at great length and depth, taking into account all paths, connections , consequences and outcomes, how did "being me and having my brain" effect this? Is it possible there was a fault in thinking or action to be taken into account? Does this need a re-frame? Was being ADHD a significant influencing factor in this? What does this teach me about this event/ situation/ person/ struggle/ success? How does.that influence.the "Now"? The best I can explain it is having lived an entire life in monochrome, learning all lessons of life, having all thoughts in B&W.
All memories are in B&W, all experiences, all deductions, all scaffolding of personality, persona, identity, all formed in B&W, and up to the actual understanding of my diagnosis (which of course is in growth and exponential expansion the more I learn and re-experience the world) EVERYTHING TO THAT MOMENT, has been "Presented by RKO radio-pictures". As of now, the "Now" of every B&W moment resurfacing/re-occurring/ applying learning or experience or usage/ recognition/ expression of "self" from history, EVERYTHING, is in "Glorius Technicolour!"...moving very quickly upon consideration and reprocessing into 8K and beyond.
Sepia memories occur as "colourised, hand tinted plates" developing from their silver nitrate storage files upon recollection. Like those photo's of Japanese Samurai from the late 1800's, that go through a "Tru-color" overhaul, with all tinting, shading, highlights, shadows, painstakingly applied by the artistic brush of a diagnosis and a better understanding.
Some people are less reflective, less contemplative, more able to accept "Ah, OK, so thats how things are from here", which is enviable and must provide much in the way of peace, but I cant help but consider at a yocto-scopic (10 to the -24, I had to look that up because Nano didnt feel small enough 😆) level how this colouring is applied. Its effect, way down there in the "quantum universe". Like a watercolour, moving from base light washes, through details and definitions, slowly adding a brush stroke here, managing a drop of pigment as it hits the damp paper and takes on a new form, spreading across the page contrary to initial application, but constructing a new beautiful blossom. At last adding in the darkest of colours to define the shades, the edges, and even leaving some parts intentionaly "pigment free" to the paper beneath, I am working through things in a deeply personal and (argueably obsessively self centred) way, in the hope of then being able to meet every consequential moment, with as fully formed, informed and considered "now" of self.
I confess this can and has been very traumatic at times. But it has/is also deeply healing, enlightening and constructive.
Worthy of the labour, the time, seeking out parts of the past, the "shadow work".
And by "splurging"myself here and there online, I can record the processes and conclusions, when there are some, not only for memorial purposes (who knows what we forget?) but also opening the up to comment and influence from the wider community of those who are experiencing a similar journey.
Thankyou if you have read this far, I appreciate your diligence and effort and all who share themselves openly and honestly here, for me, it all helps.
My students can often complain about being "taught to suck eggs" when on placement, treated as if they know nothing at all and have no experieces to draw from. My answer to this (and I do try very hard to make it my experience but "I have behaviours that challenge me" and it can be difficult ) is if someone takes the effort to share their experience and learning with you, even if everything they say is something you already "know" or they are actualy incorrect (you can always reciprocate with kindness and information) the very fact they spend the time ON YOU is enough to gratefully receive their efforts, without judgement or negation, at worst, you have given them the opportunity to try and help which is a positive realtionship builder for the future.
A genuine connection well made, and we ALL need connection.
Absolutely remember feeling these symptoms but not understanding it. I was labelled as too talktative, disruptive in class and as a female, this made me feel bad about myself.... these were comments usually reserved for the boys in my class and so I did not do well at school even tho i was intelligent. I struggled all thru adult hood and never challenged myself for fear of failure.
I remember my childhood and having hyperactive and inattentive traits as far back as 5. The main symptoms were being easily distracted, constantly moving around or fidgeting when sitting, impatient and getting angry easily. People who were around me then told me they saw these as well. For years I never understood why I was in trouble a lot and felt misunderstood by many people through childhood. I didn't do well in school but was good in sports so that I think that kind of helped me get through. I was very active in sports from age 6. Other than that I hated school and got away from the town I grew up in and I'm happy that I did. My mom remembers me having symptoms all along but said she didn't know what it was and I guess decided to not get me any help at all. That's fine I'm an adult and I'm getting it treated myself.
2) age 6-8, maybe? Excessive talking, interrupting, considered a bossy girl. Very shy and probable social anxiety as young child. Outstanding student and never in trouble in class for talking or disruptive behavior (knew not to talk in class). Extremely strict father so was very afraid of getting into trouble at home (common in 1970s/80s—-now his discipline would be called abusive). Family discipline and very high academic expectations were a major deterrent to misbehaving and probably delayed my diagnosis. No oppositional or defiant behavior. Transition into high school very stressful because I didn’t know how to manage my time, plan big assignments, etc. Major procrastinator who could make excellent grades. Stopped procrastinating in college because workload was too high! Very hard & stressful given crushing college workload. Never considered ADHD for myself until our son was diagnosed and I slowly recognized some traits in myself 😂
Once again after feeling your words I've being moved in a strong connection wave to my story. I like your capacity for introspection and your ability to remember so vividly your past. It has made me connect with my past and present. In my case, until I got to university, I passed all the exams at the very last minute with the motivation of punishment: if you don't pass, you will repeat grade. I remember my teachers telling my mother that I have some many resources and if I wanted, I could have better qualifications. It wasn't just a problem of motivation, but of inattention. Of course, no one is to blame. It was the way it was.
I absolutely remember my childhood! I have a thousand memories, some good, some bad, some sad. I’ve always been a daydreamer and have known I was different from an early age.
I only got diagnosed at 42 (1.8 years ago) and it all made sense, I’ve been grieving ever since, all the what-ifs, all the regrets. It’s been slowly getting better.
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