Anxiety, ADHD, or both

[Staycalm2020]

I was diagnosed with anxiety around 2014 and my last visit to my Dr in late 2022 brought up some questions about ADHD. I have been forgetful and had a problem comprehend things since childhood but never really thought much about it other than it’s just my weakness. I’m beginning to think about get evaluated and possibly treated if available. Has anyone waited until mid 40’s to get evaluated and treated?

[Old_Owl]

I'm 58 and just recently diagnosed with ADHD- so I shot past my 40s.

And it wasn't as much as I waited to be diagnosed- it just never occurred to me that I had it. I thought I was just lazy or just "not as good" as everyone else. I came to my diagnosis after a bit over a year of cognitive behavioral therapy for severe depression with a side dish of anxiety.

The diagnosis was a big key in better understanding myself and in starting my journey forward to managing it. While I can't say my ADHD caused my depression, it was at minimum a major contributor to it (as well as adding to my low self esteem).

I wish I had known sooner. I was actually diagnosed at 5, but my mom took me off the meds as they seemed to put me to sleep, and I've known coffee has always mellowed me out rather than "picked me up." I only knew about the hyperactive part- not all the other stuff like executive dysfunction, emotional regulation and so on. Again, I wish I had understood my condition earlier and had been treating it sooner- it would have saved me years of pain.

Getting diagnosed has been a game changer for me and I would recommend to anyone thinking they have ADHD to get evaluated.

Don't let years slip by.

Good luck on your journey.

[Judi1234 in reply to Old_Owl]

I do agree with you. I have only been diagnosed lately and I am 80. I was originally told by my therapist that I suffered from emotional dysregulation and from there it went to the ADD diagnosis. It has changed how I look at my past life, and has proven to be positive . I am learning how to modify my emotions (meds and a better understanding), and to improve executive functioning. I am resentful sometimes about having had to live with this for so long (taking just an antidepressant), but I also am proud of the many ways I learned to adapt.

[Old_Owl in reply to Judi1234]

My therapist told me a bit of "mourning" was to be expected- all the lost chances, opportunity, and the mental pain an suffering. Lost and wasted time.At the same time, I'm now starting to give myself credit for accomplishing what I have despite my ADHD. I've lived outside the United States on my own, I got a Masters degree, and have a wonderful wife. I've seen and experienced so many diverse thing, had different careers in different fields, I've preformed in front of thousands, publish fiction, and taught at a University.

Maybe my unique brain structure and chemistry that drove me so far in so many directions (while feeling as I was always failing and beating myself up).

Again how much easier my life might have been had I not had ADHD, or had my mom not drop my treatment for it back when I was 5. But then I might have experienced a lot of the good in my life.

It's still going to take me a bit to process this, and I need respect my need to grieve for a bit.

Most all, I need to learn to manage my condition to avoid the pain, stress and low self-esteem- letting me enjoy what time I've got left on this rock.

But bottom line- I think you and I have every right to feel a bit resentful for being left in the dark about all this for the vast majority of our lives while acknowledging the what we had to do to get to where we got.

[Staycalm2020 in reply to Old_Owl]

Old_Owl, sounds like you’ve been pretty successful. I haven’t done real bad for myself considering. One of the reasons I started questioning myself is the opportunity for a promotion at work but my lack of attention to detail and forgetfulness has had me looking for options.

[Old_Owl in reply to Staycalm2020]

Hang in there. It is definitely a struggle when our brain seem to be working against us. But the fact you are being introspective, figuring out how to approach areas you're not good at, says you're on the right path. 😀

I've been management in corporate America for years and battle those same things (attention to detail and forgetfulness).

Getting evaluated and treated based on you diagnosis could help. But I'd also suggest considering what unique strengths you could bring to the role.

I stunk at many paperwork tasks, but many times I was much better at seeing the big picture, or dealing with a crisis situation. (and over time I began to delegate what I was bad at).

Finally, I've learned the hard way, to look at roles and jobs in terms of how much of it depends on things I'm not good at? Taking the wrong role has hurt me a number of times.

[Hidden]

In 1999 at age 36 I was put on citalopram for anti-anxiety after telling my GP at my yearly checkup that my mind never shut off, racing constantly from thought to thought. While it helped, I never really felt "right". Fast forward 20 years, I started to see a therapist because at 59 years old I didn't want to live the rest of my life with all my "internal crazy". Come to find out my "crazy" has had a name this whole time...ADHD served with a large helping of anxiety. I'm so happy for you to be taking these steps for your self now.

While having ADHD/anxiety (diagnosed or undiagnosed) isn't an easy way to live, it definitely can be worse. That said, I am certainly looking forward to a kinder, quieter and perhaps a bit easier last third of my life. Best wishes for the same for all ~ Fi

[tlvalles]

ugh! I wasn’t diagnosed until 50! What a life changer. The more I learn or RElearn the more I see ADD in my childhood. I had always been misdiagnosed with extreme depression (now is mild) and anxiety

[FindingTheAnswers]

I wasn't diagnosed until 47, even though I had seen A LOT of Mental Health Pro's from LCSW to Psychiatrists-none of them ever mentioned it. After reading up on ADHD and the different ways it affects people explains a lot of my family dysfunction. My ADHD diagnosis and Rx has made a great improvement in my life. But I still struggle-with the 47 years of bad programming and memories of,,, try/fail,,,try/fail. And wanting to, but unable to "Get It.' There's still a lot I'm trying to figure out. And I'll keep trying- and some will still be try/fail.

Having an evaluation that proves or rules out ADHD is risk free(?). Except for the fees? But that could be money very well spent.

Best of luck to you. I hope you find some of the answers you're looking for. If you do go for an evaluation, please let me know, as I've got a list of family that also needs to do this, but won't. Kudos to you for looking in to this. You're trying. Keep trying. Peace to you.

[Jozlynn]

It's not the label that changes things, it's the diagnosis that allows you to partake of the treatment options that is the benefit here. Plus, sometimes a label helps us know what direction to take to improve our lives. If I didn't have the label of ADHD I would still be struggling immensely to figure out why I failed at certain things, over and over and over, and what to do to improve that. Even though I had the symptoms, I still doubted that ADHD was my issue because I didn't trust myself to make an accurate diagnosis (I don't have the expertise). A diagnosis also rules out other issues that we might not be aware of.

May I also ask what you meant by this? " Also, having an identity crisis like thinking you are lazy because you do not participate in certain activities in the marketplace is shallow."

I don't know if you meant it this way, but - aside from the fact that Staycalm2020 didn't say anything about having an identity crisis - to me it kind of came across as insulting, as if someone is shallow for struggling with that issue. This is a place for compassion and understanding. We get enough shame outside of this group - this should be a safe place.

[EJ_C in reply to Jozlynn]

I can't agree with you enough about labels.

With the explosion of the internet and forums and YouTube etc. We are getting focused on the negative parts of what makes us human. Okay, if you have ADHD diagnosed or undiagnosed we have amazing superpowers. Skills that so many would wish for.

Ok, we struggle with things... I do everyday. But personally, it helps by finding the scaffold.

I'm not in my 40s and was 'diagnosed' fairly young. So my advice here is limited but I personally feel, it is about looking at what is right for you? And your life.

The perks of being diagnosed is you can understand why you do something. But it isn't a magic wand and neither is medication.

I lose things everyday. I get distracted and I make stupid impulse buys... That hasn't changed. Nor will change until I put some scaffolding out...

E.g.

Tile for my keys

Mon: also, your questions at the top, about all this different things, it isn't about questioning if you have done the right or wrong thing. It is about doing what you feel is right.

Like I most likely have autism- I know this because I studied it during my degree, masters etc. Plus my best friend is an EdPhysc

Do I want a diagnosis for this? I personally don't. Because I don't really care. It's what makes me human.

It's my personal opinion.

Sorry for my rant. It made no sense. But I'm passionate

[EJ_C]

Montenegro. You've lost me.

I'm sorry. I'm baffled.

[Jozlynn]

First of all, I didn't tell you what you meant. I specifically asked what you meant and then said, "I don't know if you meant it this way". I was seeking clarification, which is far from telling you what you meant. I do not need your forgiveness.

I did not take it personally, I simply addressed what I felt came across as a possibly damaging statement to the original poster. The only offense I took was at the idea of causing another shame.

You're also in a public forum, so if you don't want it commented on you do have the option of sending via private message.

"10-15 years away from expiration" (seriously?) makes me not worth treating or finding an answer for? That implies my life is not worth improving because I'm about to die in 2 decades. And to say that seeking treatment at this stage of life therefore makes someone drug seeking is just ignorant. We can share our opinion, but it shouldn't be done in such a way that makes others feel shamed and condemned. People are here for help.

[EJ_C]

I think this debated should be left.

It is apparent that all of our views are different. However, I'm an advocate of healthy debate. I love them.

Though sometimes it can be damaging.

This will be one of them.

We don't know who is reading this. It is a public forum and though it is important to showcase all views, it should be done mindfully.

Maybe Montenegro, if you are start a new feed with your view, id happily debate it.

Hopefully see you there?

This isnt the place.

[EJ_C]

For the record. I have taken 0 illegal substances. I do not condone. It's use.

As I said Monjenegro, your comments on this particular thread could be damaging to other people. Which also includes my responses.

If you would like a debate on ADHD etc. Please start a new thread and I will happily have this conversation with you. I'm sure others will join.

[EJ_C]

Apologies for that. This has been amended.

[Staycalm2020]

if you can’t relate or have a clue, don’t respond.

[EJ_C in reply to Staycalm2020]

🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌. Well said Staycalm.