I’ve been getting anxiety about every little thing to the point I’m pointing out things at my job that can get me fired for talking too much kind of thing
Even tho I know it’s the right thing to do the way I’m doing it probably wrong due to my anxiety
Need advice
How do you normally manage your anxiety? Is it only at work that you get anxious? Do you have any feedback from other coworkers or supervisors about how you're doing that might reassure you?
I breathe and take
A minute I only get anxiety with my specific manager due to harassment
Coworkers see the harassment and company still investigation but get run around as they are ADA and tried to write me up for false accusations
Hello Kgnug90
Welcome to the group!
Sorry you're feeling anxious at work. Sometimes we are so in our own headspace that we don't hear what other people are saying. Does anyone besides you say that you're talking too much??
Also, have you ever tried guided meditation to help calm your mind?? The are some very good YouTube videos with different guided meditations that can help with relaxation techniques. Just type in "guided meditation " and some different videos will come up.
Hope these thoughts help you a bit. Take care.
🌷
Good morning.
I really feel you.
I am doing the same thing over and over.
The only difference: not at work, but in my personal life and I am getting "fired" left and right!!
My sisters don't talk to me as they used to.
My oldest son refuses to be near me.
My husband left me already.
My divorce lawyers couldn't deal with me.
My psychologist gave me "a reality check" and I never went back after that because I felt like she didn't see my point..
I feel right about things and then when I open my mouth they come out wrong and people get their feelings hurt.
The one thing I am doing my best is to hold my thiughts when it comes to my job.
I think: I am not the boss here.
Here, I follow their rules.
I only give opinions when asked. And even then, I ain't fully open about what I think.
If you know how to keep personal life well, please tell me?
Otherwise, hang in there.
This too shall pass.
❤
I understand and agree
But since I’m in healthcare and patients safety is at risk and they choose to ignore and brush everything under the rug I can’t let it go and it’s taking over my life
Just thinking of the fact they are harming patients and are ok with it isn’t ok with me
Hi, Donna-Lee~
Gosh, so sorry that you're going through personal life issues. It's so hard with ADHD to keep a good personal life.
I'm super lucky that I've got a very supportive partner. He's really great and helps me tremendously. One thing that I do with him, that I think helps our relationship is to read books about Marriage and ADHD together. It helps him understand my position and see what I go through in my brain.
Since we are wired so differently from "normal" ha-ha, often they have a hard time understanding us.
If you want a relationship to work, we really have to work at it, because neglect is what a lot of non-ADHD partners say we do to them. Even though it is not intentional, we're often hyper focused on other stuff and forget them.
One book that was particularly helpful was, Thriving in Marriage with ADHD. Helped me to see his side and what he felt.
If you can do that, super helpful in all relationships. Hope this helps you a little bit in this difficult journey!!
Peace
My partner "fired" me as well.
He also has ADHD.
He left, quit us. He said it was too much work.
Since then I never had even the opportunity of meeting a new person.
I'm busy providing, taking care of a house, a son in college and another in daycare. 2 dogs and a full time job.
Life is harder now with the COVID situation where it's nearly impossible to go on dates..
Who wrote Thriving in Marriage with ADHD. I can't see to find it. Thanks
Do your best to accept your job situation and coworkers as humans with faults. Ditto the previous reply: Realize you're not the boss and try to relax in that fact. Seek humor in your job routines. Jobs are generally not life or death situations. BTW I work in retail. You can do this.
Hi Kgnug.
I know how you feel it’s a hard lesson to learn don’t let your emotions run your life and most and just feelings and they’re not actual fact I’ve ruined a lot of relationships that way expressing how I feel
I know how you feel it’s a hard lesson to learn don’t let your emotions run your life your most and just feelings and they’re not actual facts I’ve ruined a lot of relationships that way expressing how I feel.
“Here’s the solution” simple but not easy.
It’s call restraint of tongue and pen and particularly text or email.
Repeat these words restraint of tongue and pen over and over again in your mind when you feel emotional and you have to be heard
Repeat these words restraint of tongue and pen over and over again in your mind when you feel emotional and you have to be hurt.
Secondly never send out a text or email written emotionally wait until the next morning reread it before you send it.
For me I found out that I usually have to edit my email or text, take the motion out or sometimes even delete the message entirely.
The kindest gift you can give to anyone is to listen to them, remember gods gift to you is knowing it is better to understand then be understood.
Third never respond to an angry or emotional text directed to you simply ignore it do not reply.
Remember there’s always some people that are sicker than you or I out there that have difficulties to It may be directed at me or you
Wise wise wise words buddy
Much needed and appreciated really open my eyes
I agree with you both Kgnug90 and Johnfamilyman. It's essential to do the pause and wait. I've also learned this over time as well. DO NOT BE A BLURTER, like I was before. It can really ruin your life, and hurt you and others.
To help you in the immediate moment, take a calming deep breath. You can also respond immediately (If you're in a situation where you must say something) by simply saying, "I'd like to think about that and get back to you". It also gives you a pleasant out, and allows you to process your emotions without hurting yourself or anyone else.
Hope this little nugget helps you out.
This response is more commiserating, rather than a solution to your the issues you bring out in your post. I just signed up to be a member of CHADD, and one of my reasons is because I am going through something similar (really the same) as you are.
Over the past year, I have “gotten into trouble” twice because I spoke up when my supervisor did something completely unethical by anyone’s standard. Most recently, I said something honestly when I should have used vague terms so as not to “create an us against them” (their words).
I read recently that people with ADHD tend to put a lot of weight into fairness, which is true in my case. I also feel very strongly about lying or being purposely obtuse. The things that I’ve spoken out against would have been unfair or wrong under anyone’s definition. I’m careful about that because I have always been afraid of “getting into trouble”. However, I suppose others are better able to let things go. That’s really hard for me to do.
Hello, Integrity~
Welcome to the group! Are you also a healthcare worker as Kgnug90 is here in our forum?
Wondering why you say the post is "This response is more commiserating, rather than a solution to your the issues you bring out in your post"... Do you feel that the members are not helping? What advice would you give to Kgnug90?
Did you check out the original post which I've pasted below:
___________________________________________________________________
I’ve been getting anxiety about every little thing to the point I’m pointing out things at my job that can get me fired for talking too much kind of thing
Even tho I know it’s the right thing to do the way I’m doing it probably wrong due to my anxiety
Need advice
___________________________________________________________________
It's okay to critic other advice, if you are being constructive and have something helpful to say! I'm personally all for that approach. But just criticizing for the sake of itself is not always useful.
ADHD'ers get plenty of criticism throughout their lifetimes.
And, btw, you're absolutely correct that us ADHD'ers are extremely fair to a fault. That is something we do have to be careful with, as it may lead to disagreements.
Best wishes to you on your journey as well.
I just started learning DBT skills which have helped me immensely with anxiety. The first distress tolerance skill is REST ( Relax, Evaluate the situation, Set an intention, Take action). I used to get overwhelmed by any situation, trying to problem solve everything right the first time, many times I ended up just escaping and getting into deeper trouble. With REST, I do a little action that gets me to a more calmed state, then another and another ... until I usually make better choices. Many of the DBT skills we all already practice but REST helps me use them effectively. This workbook is very helpful The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & Distress Tolerance.
Help the paranoid, anxiety ridden ADHD chick lol
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