I can only control my own words, actions & attitudes

[STEM_Dad]

Something that I've known most of my life, but only recently formed into words is:

*I can only control my own words, and my own actions, and my own attitudes.*

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In short:

I am responsible for myself and my conduct.

I do not control the words, actions or attitudes of others.

Others do not control my words, actions or attitudes.

We all must interact with each other in the best possible way for all of us.

[STEM_Dad]

This means that:

1. I cannot control other people, their words, or their actions. I can try to provide good words and demonstrate good actions in order to influence others in a way that I believe is good.

*(Most especially, I endeavor to model for and teach my children how I believe they ought to speak and behave. As their dad, I am aware that I have more opportunity to influence their conduct than anyone else besides myself, but that I have a limited time to do so.)

2. I cannot control my emotions. I can control how I respond to my emotions, which can help me influence the emotions I am feeling in the present and the emotions I will feel in the future. How I respond to my emotions may help others to respond similarly.

3. I have limited control of my thoughts. I can consciously form some thoughts. I can try to direct my attention to focus on thoughts that I deem to be good thoughts to focus on, whether those thoughts are formed consciously, in response to stimuli which I am aware of, or which bubble up from my unconscious mind.

4. Since I have some control over my thoughts, then I can also check my beliefs and values. Whenever necessary to do so. I also have the ability to address my beliefs and values directly, and thus to adhere to them or to make a change in them, as my heart & mind & spirit inform me to do so.

[STEM_Dad in reply to STEM_Dad]

I also have to admit my limitations. I'm only human. I will make mistakes. I will sometimes do/say the wrong things, or fail to do/say the right ones. I have to accept that. And I have to accept that others will, too.

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Nice post

[wtfadhd]

spot on STEM_Dad,and THAT is exactly why surrounding ourselves with the right people, settings, careers, relationships, media, etc is critical for us ADHD folks to thrive. Its too exhausting a battle if we dont.

lovely post! thank you!!!

[STEM_Dad in reply to wtfadhd]

Thanks. Your observation is especially relevant for ADHD people, but it's true enough for all people.

(Note: I've pretty much believed what I wrote above since first grade, so for about 85% of my life thus far. Most of that time, I was unable to express it as clearly as I now have, because I would have rambled on, botched the delivery, and gone on a tangent about 5 times. I've only known I have ADHD the last 3.2% of my life, or a year and a half. I've only been clear-headed enough to think this way for around half that time, about 10 months now, or 1.7% of my life, since starting on my current meds. A diagnosis and the right treatment make all the difference to a person with ADHD. ... BTW - I've always been a Math Nerd, and hyperfocus is really fun sometimes.)

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Awesome!