Hi.. I'm brand new here but seriously looking for help. I believe I have all the makings of someone with ADHD. The waiting time for referall here in the UK is 18 months!! For me life is getting more and more out of control. Losing job after job - impulsive drinking making everything worse and I'm now at crisis point. Along with creating undue stress and anxiety for my wife.
If anyone can direct me to read about self help actions I can take I'd be extremely grateful.
One thing is certain, I now have a greater understanding of who I am and why I've done the things I've done - moving g forward with this knowledge can only be life transforming..
Thanks for reading..
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Tuni_111
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May I suggest a UK Crisis Hot Line 1850 60 90 90 . I think too that AA online, for example, aaonline.net
And any pastor, minister, clergy, Father, priest, Rabi at any church you feel comfortable with, and they are open all the time, not just on Sunday Morning.
Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
Hi Tigger.. many thanks for taking time to write. I'll certainly check the book out you recommend and I'll start listening to the binaural beats tonight before going to sleep.
I've just got a book off Kindle about ADD and look to implement whatever steps I can to both change / reform my life.
On one hand I'm very happy to learn that this condition has and is the root cause but then sad because I've had a life that could've been so much different.
Suffice to say, I have no control over the past only the future and that's where my focus will be..
Yes, 18 months to wait for a referall - it's a saturated NHS we have..
Hope that you're keeping well and thanks again for your message.
I've been reading about binaural beats and as you quite rightly say, best to chose the most appropriate one - I think for me at bedtime it's going to be a relaxation one.
I've also read it can take time to show results..
One things for certain - I'll get the better of this and come out the better person..
ADDitude.org has a TON o useful information. Keep moving forward. i didn't find out I had ADHD until I was 58! But it saved my mess of a marriage, and life is tremendously better in so many ways. Like you alluded to, just knowing there is an explanation for why I have done things I have done, and not done things I should have...it's helped knowing the "why".
Hi Greg.. many thanks for your message and direction.
Just this morning I've lost my job! Four and a half days in - people looking in have no or lttle empathy and think I make excuses.
My wife is struggling which can onlybe expected. I've had emergency appointment's at the doctors today and as I write this I'm sat outside my councillors room..
There's one thing for certain.. whilst it all seems a struggle currently I will get on top of this..
Ian, you have the right attitude and you recognize that life has ups and downs. We all believe that you will get on top of this and you will prevail. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep a positive attitude. Thanks for posting.
I seen a private psychiatrist, it was silly of me to ask for a bipolar assessment because at the end and after paying I think £300 he turned around and said he thinks it's ADHD, which was going to cost me for another whole assessment. I'm not sure if your up for private but it's a lock quicker than the NHS and you could simply ask for a full assessment and out it to the psych that Upton think it maybe adhd. My experience of the NHS is they send you to a CMHT that don't listen to a word you say and don't take your original issues into account, you get 30 minute assessments and then another appointment in 8 weeks, not even in the team where they deal with adhd, I discharged myself twice, because they don't listen and put me on anti psychotics.
I'm going back private, or else if I have to complain about one more mental health professional, I feel they would section me for spite.
Thank you and I think private is a great idea. It's just funds at the moment - not having a job is making me more frugal.
I agree also about the NHS.. my doctor said last week - you've waited 55 years what's another 18 months.. another 18 months could be a massive "negative" for someone like me.
I will get through this and all the very best to you and thanks for taking time to write😉
Wow what's another 18 months ? You could always use your right to choose who you see ? See we keep being told there is a choose and book system , ask the doctor if you can choose your consultant because of the waiting time. Somewhere along the line, the choose and book has become invisible but am thought it was created so that patients could choose who they see and cut down the waiting time
Lol my doc said to me, I think if you had AdHD it would have been diagnosed years ago, I'm a woman, we are heavily under diagnosed. Maybe if they sent me to psychologist when I was expelled from school it may have been picked up then, but for some reason, I seem to have drawn the short straw. I'm never going back to NHS mental health services again, the process almost gave a full on breakdown. One good thing with your doc, at least he is sending you to the right person. Do check out the choose and book, I didn't even know what it was until my sister told me, she chose a specialist from there, they seem to keep the choose and book so his hush, you forget it even exists. So this shortage of consultants and specialists, they knew it was coming, that's what choose and book was for, but if they don't tell you you can use it, you just sit waiting. Actually emailed my GP asking why I hadn't been referred to an ADHD specialist and asked if I could use my patient choice, they didn't even reply.
It's a year since I took that report to them and it's been living hell since.
Mind you it didn't help that I forgot about the report for 8 months (that should have been their first warning sign to send me ADHD specialist)
The second sign should have been when I discharged myself because am couldn't wait another ,8 weeks for another half hour assessment
If things do get unbearable for you, present yourself at accident and emergency to the RAID team.
People think it's just ADHD, But when your sleep goes out the window and you have managed to have a long stint of hyper focusing and ruined everything around you, it can make you feel severely anxious and depressed.
More awareness needs to be raised about how ADHD can cause anxiety. Depression, suicidal thoughts, because we mess up so badly and we
get so frustrated with ourselves that it is distressing.
Every year now, I'm working like a dog when I'm functioning to make up the deficit for the months off, I can't stand that feeling of failure. If I could just get one whole year without messing up, I would be so grateful
One whole year without messing up - resonates with me.. on one hand I feel at one with the Universe. Then.. pow the shit hits the fan..
I've just had a tremendous offer.. out the blue and whilst my wife will negative it out I will move this forward and this time I'll deliver and succeed - I'm so sick of the shit..
That's great, work on your impulsivity, use a zip when your making a decision, Kele pulling it up and down to remind yourself to think carefully, do anything that you can to remind yourself to make a good decision
Oh and explain to your wife that if she encourages your new offer, you have a better chance of succeeding. Sometimes you need to do something that you get supported with, lack of support or aith can make it even easier to fail. Move forward with no doubts, no fear of your wife's doubts and just go for it
Have you considered going self employed ? I kept quitting jobs in impulse (and anxiety) I got into so much debt, which then led to depression, then am went self employed, it's been a blessing in a way but it's also allowed my hyper focus to get out of hand. But it wards off the debt, I will work for months then not work for months, that's why I went to see the private psychiatrist, I had cleared all my debt that week and wanted to get a balance in my life, I just wish I had believed him and not thought he was a conman. Mind you I still think charging for a whole new assessment instead of a follow up was a bit unethical, I think if he had just charged me a follow up, for me to give more information about my childhood, I would have been more open, but to charge per assessment just seemed too much. Then I went away and had to think back over my life, that in itself was a major ordeal, triggered my anxiety and it all spiralled again. Now I know why he wrote that he suggested intense psychological therapy at a first instance lol. I wish he was stricter with me and made me understand that he knew what he was doing and not a conman, if he was firmer, I would have listened and gone back to him
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