About rules and society

Rules are important, they are needed to allow people to live together in a society or at work, but sometimes there is some misunderstanding about them. Some persons love rules, more rules there are more happy they are and they feel very well in respecting them with very high precision.

Persons with ADHD sometimes are maybe supposed to have a problem with rules and authority, so they are convinced to take medicines and follow therapies to become more normal. So, instead of understanding that rules are not always so much necessary, they are forced to add even more rules, to control everything they do.

I suppose that it depends on the level of syntoms that ADHD gives, because if they are heavy oviously there is a need of improved control, because some kind of distracted behavious could even be dangerous.

But if that is not the case, if the behaviour of a person is not dangerous or limitant, why convincing this person that he/she should be more 'normal'? Why giving so much importance to rules when they are not so important? Why do not accept that there could be also a different way of living together in the society, that is not the one that the very precise persons want?

[CassandraGemini]

As someone with ADHD I agree with you that arbitrary rules are stupid and I won't usually follow them unless I understand the intent behind them, or if the consequences of breaking them are too severe. But treatment for ADHD is much more than just trying to make a person "normal". Sure, some bad parents might just be trying to make their child more manageable or compliant, but good parents are trying to set their child up for success. As an adult newly diagnosed with ADHD, I am being treated for myself and my family. It's not at all that I want to appear more "normal" and follow all the rules. I have always been considered a little eccentric and I have no issue with that.

I want to be able to finish tasks I start, be a more contributing member of our household and business, to not struggle so much to remember what I am doing, and to not procrastinate everything. Having ADHD my whole life has lead to a lot of anxiety and depression. I am extremely grateful to not only have an explanation for my behavior, but to see that it can be improved. Also my ADHD has gotten much worse over the years, so if I had gotten treatment as a younger person it would have saved me a lot of trouble and self abuse (both through negative thoughts about myself and drug use trying to self medicate). My point is, there is so much more to having ADHD than just being a "rule breaker". I will always question authority, but now I don't stay up all night with racing thoughts about unfair arbitrary rules. I don't act out inappropriately about them. I am learning to find a healthier way, and I'm so glad I got my diagnosis.

[MTA-]

The philosophies on mental health, medication, and neurodivergence have come a long way in the last few decades. In the bad old days, you were expected to go to school, get a job, and have the white picket fence and 2.4 children. Anything that made you unable or unwilling to do that was a mental illness, and had to be medicated away. Nowadays it's all about individual happiness. What would a happy life look like for you, and what's standing in the way of that？if medication can treat whatever is holding you back from happiness, that's what it's for.

Medication is not a rule, I am on medication because it helps me to live a more fulfilling life. And if I told my doctor tomorrow that I no longer wanted to be o it, he would not object.

And being about your personal happiness, it has nothing to do with being more normal. If you're happy being an eccentric, no one will object （and in my experience, medication doesn't stop you from being eccentric）.

But if you don't want to be medicated, that's fine. ADHD treatment in general is not about imposing rules, for exactly the reasons you say.

That being said, doctors and therapists generally know what they're talking about. If they recommend medication, consider it. Treat their opinion with the weight it deserves. They may have insights you don't.

[wtfadhd]

i actually posed this same basic question n thought process a while back ago. At that time i was having some particularly negative feelings. i felt like everyone else’s “ quirks” were tolerated but mine were not.

[Mikk1]

Maybe persons with ADHD love rules less than persons without ADHD. Could this be a common treat?

[skoo]

I don't do rules, I do morals