I feel like I am going crazy. For a while I felt like my ADHD meds were great, but recently I feel this intense anger and it scares me. I mean, at the slightest thing that's challenging I can lose my shit and end up crying and screaming at my inability to handle whatever it is that I have to do. For example, my TV stopped producing sound today, and I tried everything I could to fix it. Reset everything and ended up resting my TV stick as well, and wiping everything. That took some amount of time to set every back up, and before I knew it the whole morning was gone and I was left in tears and emotionally ready to go full Dexter Morgan on whomever or whatever pissed me off next. Which was the downstairs neighbour who started drilling and hammering away, just as I sat down to try and gather myself.
Has this happened to anyone taking Xaggitin XR, or is this just me? I don't want to be this person. But I don't want to come off my meds altogether as I know they have been helping me up until now. I just feel so scared and powerless sometimes at my inability to control my emotions. I'm looking into counselling but it's a long wait for services in my area. Using an online CBT course in the meantime, but my god I feel like I am one bad thing away from a breakdown
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I first want to say that you are not alone. I'm sure you've heard this a million times but remind yourself that no matter how alone you may feel in your journey. I also want to commend you on your bravery and strength. I mean, look at what you've been doing so far. You are TRYING. It's important to see that!! Stop and take the time to thank yourself cause you are STRONG. You don't have to see that for yourself right now but know this is going forward that you have the strength to get through this. ☺️
But with the medicine you are taking, I have had a similar experience with Adderall. I feel like it could be Side effects from the Medication. Have you talked with your doctor? Also, how long have you been taking this Medication? Suppose it is, and you eventually decide to get off the Meds. In that case, I recommend doing some research on Nootropics for ADHD (Nootropics are supplements, and other substances that are claimed to improve cognitive function, mainly executive functions, attention, memory, creativity, or motivation, in healthy individuals) as I've been in your shoes with Stilmuant ADHD Meds as they gave me harmful side effects that outway the good from them. I started taking L Theanine (L-theanine is an amino acid found primarily in green and black tea and some mushrooms. It's also available in pill or tablet form. It's said to help ease anxiety, stress, and reduce insomnia.) for Anxiety and Focus and that's what lead me into doing more research on Nootropics as a good majority of them are Natural and found in foods or other compounds now just like taking any Medication it may affect you differently than it would for another person. Hence, it's all trial and error, but I'm sure you'd find one that works well for you.
For Counseling, have you looked at "Better Help" at all? I found better help through "How to ADHD" on Youtube, and she got me looking into it cause I wanted to get back into Counseling, and so far, it's been pretty cool cause you can be in touch with your counselor 24/7. Have you also looked into in-person ADHD Support groups?
I currently take Adderall XR and have been feeling the exact same way!! I was starting to get concerned with my self as well. Doing research helped me because it normalized it for me and I saw that its just a phase and it will pass. Maybe researc your meds, it could help you see the difference in short teem and long term eeffects.You aren't alone! I also just started treatment with cerebral. It's for treating ADHD, insomnia, depression and anxiety. You get a whole team that you get to pick based off of doctor bios' and an assessment they use to match you with doctors who would best fit what you need. My first appointment is in a week so until then that's all the info I have peraonly with cerebral.
Hi thereI really feel for you! I've been where you are a lot in my life having adhd and it's very hard and also invisible so most people don't and can't understand the amount of stress having this condition can produce. I haven't been on your medication so I can't comment about that aspect of it.
When I was diagnosed last year in January at the age of 51 years I tried two different medications to find the one that suited me the best. I also listened to the attitude magazine podcasts to soak up as much information as I could about the condition. This website/podcast had heaps about finding out how different medications work etc. I highly recommend! additudemag.com
Being female and having adhd is more complicated than being a male with adhd because of how hormones affect our medication. I wonder if your stress levels are worse at certain times of the month? Keeping a journal of where I am in my cycle is helpful and has helped me know what to expect. There are supplements you can take to help with hormones too. Sorry I don't know how old you are. additudemag.com/webinar/adh...
I really like being on medication because it helps me regulate my emotions but I still have to do all of the other things too. Like I have to be very careful about what I eat. I can't eat chocolate or food colouring. I know this isn't the case for everyone but it is for me. I think it's important to try a whole lot of things to find out what your particular body responds to. I also have magnesium citrate everyday which supports my nervous system. Sleep is very important too and my medication Rubifen helps quite a lot with this.
I also have to exercise everyday to get my endorphin fix. If I don't exercise my base stress level is already high so when something sets me off it's a lot worse. I do low impact but intense exercise because it has to be fairly intense to get the endorphin release. I feel so much better after. It really impacts my mood too. I am recovery from a knee injury so I swim at the moment so its finding some kind of exercise your body can handle. I used to do interval training on an old stationary cycle. It was brilliant and only took 30 mins and was very convenient (global cycling network globalcyclingnetwork.com/vi....
Over the years of having undiagnosed adhd I have physically injured myself a lot and feel wrecked physically at the moment mostly because of stress. So I really understand and it's been the most challenging and isolating and horrible aspect of my adhd. Sometimes I feel so pissed off and angry too. It's been a very hard road with a lot of missed opportunities!
The other thing I have started putting into practice ( I have been a bit slack lately) is meditation and working through the grief aspect. I found the talks and meditations of Tara Brach very helpful. She has this practice called RAIN where she teaches how to go through the process of allowing and processing grief in a safe way. It has worked for me. Her talks have put things into perspective for me too on more than one occasion. tarabrach.com she has podcasts on spotify
The last thing I wanted to share was that when I feel down on myself and that's been a lot lately I tell myself it's a process and as long as I have a growth mindset fs.blog/carol-dweck-mindset... keep on moving in the right direction I will improve and be able to appreciate the good things about having adhd at some point in the not so distant future.
This sounds like such a frustrating experience you're having and I'm so sorry you're going through this. All my life I've had issues with anger and managing my emotions (partially because of ADHD and other issues as well as being put on steroids as a child) and it can be really scary to feel so out of control.
I don't have any experience with the medication you're taking but as others said, definitely check to see if it's a side effect to the med and if you have a physician or other health professional (your primary doc for example) that you can talk to while waiting for counseling, let them know what's going on as well. If you haven't told your prescriber already, I would do that as soon as possible.
I also wanted to say give yourself some grace right now. We are in the midst of some of the most challenging times many of us have ever experienced. Even level-headed people are struggling, and it's so much harder for those of us dealing with ADHD and/or other mental health concerns. Honestly, I would have had the same reaction as you to dealing with the TV! That's a frustrating thing to have to deal with anyway, let alone when you might already be feeling fragile and vulnerable.
Of course, there is a line between constant anger and flares of frustration triggered by environmental factors. For me, riding the bus is where I have to work really hard to calm my frustration and anger. There are other places that trigger me too, and I try not to get too mad at myself for the flares, and just try to talk myself down from going ballistic on someone! If it's anger that's triggered, that's really understandable but still worth addressing. And if it's constant anger that you can't shake and you're really concerned about acting on it, Better Help as suggested seems like a great resource, as well as calling a crisis line in your area or one of the national networks for mental health support.
I hope that this all passes for you soon and that you are able to feel relief. Please feel free to reach out if you want to chat with someone who while not a counselor, definitely knows what you're going through.
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