difficulty motivating myself

[WhatAreFrogs]

i really struggle with motivating myself to do things that i don't want to do. things pile up - i need to take out the trash, or put my clothes away, or clean off my desk, but i just can't do it. i would much rather have a clean space, because my brain works better when things are clean and organized, but it's way too overwhelming and exhausting to even think about everything i need to do. i don't know how to get my brain to pay attention to my to-do list, much less do anything on it. does anyone have any tips?

[Gettingittogether]

Yep. Part of ADHD ... also could be part of other things as well, including depression ... could be multiple things going on.

Where are you as far as mental health care?

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to Gettingittogether]

i've been treated for depression and anxiety since 2015. i had a very bad depression episode from mid february to mid april, but i don't feel like that anymore. i feel like i could probably have more energy (i always feel like i could have more energy...), but i'm not sad or sluggish or hopeless. also, i hesitate to ask for more antidepressants because of the side effects.

as far as adhd, i'm diagnosed but haven't been on medication for a little while because the pharmacy didn't have my particular medication. thankfully i managed to change to a different one and they filled that this evening, so hopefully that will help. but i feel like i need better coping mechanisms in general, meds or no meds.

[Iside]

we would say pull yourself together or write a list of things to do then tick off as you do them. We all feel like that, often, but I couldn’t live in such a mess so do it as I go along. W hope this helps, cheer up.

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to Iside]

hi, thank you for your message! unfortunately it doesn't work for me to just say pull yourself together. i can spend hours sitting in bed, wishing i could do something, and no amount of wishing or trying to do something can motivate me to actually do it. it's very frustrating.

[NYCmom2]

ADHD and related executive functioning issues can make it challenging to clean and organize since it’s a multi-step process and can be boring. The medication that treats ADHD will often bridge those gaps in focus, attention and distraction to allow you to clean and organize.

I had to read a few books on organizing to help create a plan for my living space. I’ll list a few below. Listening to an audio book, podcast or music while cleaning can help increase dopamine. Moments of being stuck and not being able to declutter I would watch an episode of the tv show Hoarders and it would motivate me.

If you can hire someone or enlist a friend or family member occasionally to help you clean, even if it’s a few rooms, that would give you a boost. Plus, if you clean alongside them or in another room it’s a form of body doubling.

Books:

Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized

by Susan C. Pinsky

Women with ADHD: The Complete Guide to Stay Organized, Overcome Distractions, and Improve Relationships. Manage Your Emotions, Finances, and Succeed in Life

by Linda Hill, Sarah Davis

[MonkV in reply to NYCmom2]

Hi Here are a few things that help me....I am the same ADD messy type :

*Pick your favorite get up and dance music. Wherever it takes to 'set the stage'.

*I play the game with myself called Oh My God...The Queen is Coming. I set a timer (determine what works for you making it small and achievable...even 10 minutes) I haul butt cleaning an area fast and with music. Make it as fun and uplifting as possible. I've done with for years.

*Does everything have a "home"? If not, creating a spot for everything should be your first game. I call this "Let's Create A Home Coming" I say to myself, " You need a little home don't you?"

*If you can hire an organizer, they are worth it!! If not, do you have a friend that is "naturally" organized and would help or trade....like you could cook them a wonderful meal, etc. I have an organizer friend that has really helped me.

I hope some of these work. Just remember, if you set the timer for 10 minutes and put stuff away, that 10 minutes spent making your space more livable was better than not doing anything. At night before bed I try and put a few things away or at least do dishes. In the morning I race around putting things back. Hardest challenge for me: DO ONE THING AT A TIME! I tend to do five things at a time because I feel I will forget to do it! And saying, "don't set this down here...take it back to its home."

All the best!

[NYCmom2 in reply to MonkV]

Great ideas! I love the names you’ve given: Oh My God...The Queen is Coming and Let's Create A Home Coming. Sounds fun! And we have to build the habit of allowing ourselves to feel proud of any and all accomplishments. We ADHD folks are often too hard on ourselves.

I also do 5 things at a time and have to continually remind myself to finish one task before beginning the next.

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to MonkV]

thank you for sharing what works for you! i like the idea of pretending the queen is coming. i will see if that works for me. maybe i can even invite someone over for real

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to NYCmom2]

thank you for your book recs! i'll look into them for sure.

[SpasticHobbies in reply to NYCmom2]

Thank you for this!

[MonkV]

A few seconds agoHi Here are a few things that help me....I am the same ADD messy type  : *Pick your favorite get up and dance music. Wherever it takes to 'set the stage'.*I play the game with myself called  Oh My God...The Queen is Coming. I set a timer (determine what works for you making it small and achievable...even 10 minutes) I haul butt cleaning an area fast and with music. Make it as fun and uplifting as possible. I've done with for years.*Does everything have a "home"? If not, creating a spot for everything should be your first game. I call this "Let's Create A Home Coming" I say to myself, " You need a little home don't you?"*If you can hire an organizer, they are worth it!! If not, do you have a friend that is "naturally" organized and would help or trade....like you could cook them a wonderful meal, etc. I have an organizer friend that has really helped me. I hope some of these work. Just remember, if you set the timer for 10 minutes and put stuff away, that 10 minutes spent making your space more livable was better than not doing anything. At night before bed I try and put a few things away or at least do dishes. In the morning I race around putting things back. Hardest challenge for me: DO ONE THING AT A TIME! I tend to do five things at a time because I feel I will forget to do it! And saying, "don't set this down here...take it back to its home."All the best!

[adhdlmc]

do meditation, every morning and every evening before bed. this will give your brain the necessary space it needs to have focus and clarity.

adhd is a gift because you have access to more information. now imagine your brain receives a lot more information than the "usual human". it needs space to process the information.

it all starts in your mind and the rest will follow with ease.

[adhdlmc in reply to adhdlmc]

and that helps you do your things. dont trust me - try it out!

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to adhdlmc]

i'll try that, thanks

[Gettingittogether]

Hold on ... you had serious depression early this year til April. Well I hate to tell you this, but one thing that depression does is it makes us feel so bad, so awful that coming up for any amount of air can feel like an utter relief.

But you may still have depression, just a milder version. And you may have what they call "residual symptoms"--symptoms that hang around even after depression technically goes into remission.

Are you telling your providers about the symptoms of not being able to do these things you want to do? What do they say?

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to Gettingittogether]

hi, yes my providers know what's going on. my therapist told me to give it a few weeks and rest, and then see if i feel better enough to do things. my nurse practitioner, who prescribes my meds, gave me a prescription for adderall, and i've only taken it for one day so far but i think it is helping. it's frustrating to consider that i may still be mildly depressed, because i feel like i've wasted so much time being depressed. and like i said, i hesitate to ask to increase the dose of my antidepressants, because i really hate the side effects. i've tried so many different meds, and unfortunately the only ones that work for me cause weight gain. i'm hoping that the adderall is enough to allow me to do my every day tasks, but if not, i'm not sure what to do.

[TurquoiseSunrise]

Hugs to you!!! And I can relate. Medication can help. Also if I can distract my mind by listening to podcasts or putting on a familiar TV show (one you do not need to concentrate on) for company I do better.

[LifeAfterDiagnosis]

I have the same issue. 😕 I'm starting to recognize that I think too much about it, and if I just get up and do one thing - without thinking about it - it makes me feel really good and pretty soon I'm getting more things done. Sometimes, to coax myself into doing something, I tell myself "you won't regret it" which oddly enough helps motivate me. Little internal mind games can do wonders!

[Gettingittogether]

I feel you. Depression is demoralizing in addition to depressing! And yes, it's easy to get depressed about being depressed. But you are taking care of yourself, sounds to me.

You tried therapy any?

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to Gettingittogether]

yep, i've been in therapy for... 8 years, i think

[Hominid711]

You have only been on Adderall 1 day. Presumably you've then just had an assessment. And you will be on a low dose. Which antidepressant regime are you on?

I know once you've stepped out of inertia it feels like that should have made you better already but fact is you may have to persevere or adjust meds further and await improvement.

I am familiar with lack of motivation and the guilt and shame it can produce. Hang in there. I think Adderall can be titrated faster than monthly. Weekly should be fine. With antidepressants it depends on the type.

In the meantime - to feel more instantly little successes try the above. My solution in such situations has been to just pick something up that needs moving or that needs a wipe or whatever on your way from A to B, bed to toilet or fridge and back. Try to make it a habit or at least look around and start with what is easy to move and requires minimum effort and just do that from time to time making it a habit to look around for something to shift. That may just be your coffee cup from bedside table to kitchen or from kitchen surface into dishwasher. One day you may feel like doing nothing, another clearing a whole kitchen top or cleaning a sink. Or even two.

Just keep looking around you leisurely. Don't think about regrets if you can distract yourself or if you feel you could fall asleep. Your brain is active anyway and works on its future constantly. The inertia will improve if it's reason is depression as this is mostly cyclical every 7-9 months or so. Otherwise consider increasing the antidepressant if there is scope or switch to another as per your psychiatrist. One day you may feel you actually want to move or it's a good idea or you think of something to do or get that you would enjoy. Or your back or neck hurts from too much time in bed. If you then perhaps just manage to get dressed or throw a coat on, grab the key and go outside. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other. Walk on if you can take it and there's a bus going back or do a circular with a break.

That sort of thing. Small steps. Just go with it. With what your brain is allowing you to do at a given moment. Use the experts. This is what they're for. Tell friends and family what you are going through and tell them if you want their support. To listen from time to time should be feasible for all of them, otherwise there's no point in having or utilising them for now. They may not be the type or having problems on their own right now. But some will always be there. Like we are.

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to Hominid711]

hi there, i really appreciate your message. i don't have the mental energy right now to say much but i think what you said makes sense. thank you

[WhatAreFrogs in reply to Hominid711]

oh, and i'm on a lot of medications for mental health. seroquel, lamictal, pristiq, vraylar, adderall. you may be right about adjusting them.

[Highlysuspect99]

I won't touch on your question because I see something important. So both Vraylar and Seroquel will both block any beneficial benefits of Adderall. The amphetamines boost dopamine, which antipsychotics block to varying degrees at varying receptor subtypes. The amazing thing is doctors prescribe them together, negating each other's benefits all the time. I take Geodon at night, but it's short-acting, so by 7am my meds work again. I've been prescribed Vraylar, Latuda, Seroquel and Zyprexa, Ambilify and they all blocked Adderall. It ultimately comes down to Adderall or antipsychotics, whichever you need more, it's a very hard choice, but your meds are cancelling each other out. This is an article from the NIH called The Dopomine dilemma. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...

[Hominid711 in reply to Highlysuspect99]

Very interesting article!