ADHD but in Africa. Please help

[Mwelwa00]

Is there a therapist in here. I think I have ADHD. I'm from southern central Africa and honestly I can't find a therapist and if I do they are hella expensive and I have to travel to another city to get to see one. Please help me understand that I am just not lazy. I want to get up and improve my life so so bad so bad you can't imagine but I just can't. Dropped out of law school nearing my final year. My parents are shattered and I feel so horrible. I want to be an artist, a creative. I'm so good at it. That's the only thing that makes me feel like I am alive. Inability to complete work. I've recently been having mood swings and I am slowly losing all my friends because majority seem to bore me. The mundane task of replying to "how are you". I find it so boring but if I say that I look like I'm just a jerk. Do I need medication because countless countless times I have tried to get my shit together. Is it just me..Am I lazy what the hell is wrong with me.?

[Chispi]

Hi. I don't have tdah, but my husband and son do, and I can understand why it costs them so much to do many of the things. I don't think you're lazy, or anything like that... rather I think that what you are studying you do not like, and that for anyone is tdah is hell, assistance that in the event that you have tdah must be much worse. In my opinion, seek professional help and talking to your family channel your life towards a path that makes you happier. I wish you the best of luck and encouragement.

[wtfadhd]

hey you,

ADHD is a neurological disorder in which our brains are wired a bit different and we lack or run low on certain types of chemicals. Neuro typical people can dislike a task but still manage to get it done without a big struggle. Not so much for us ADHD folks. When we are not naturally interested in something then our brains dont make that chemical that prompts us to engage in the activity anyways. period.

Thats why neuro typical people can sometimes think we are lazy. Thats not the case at all. Its a neurological thing- not a character flaw.

When us ADHDers are interested in something- we often get hyper focussed on it and excel.

Bottom line- in terms of living a satisfying life, find a career that you like- cuz you will be fantastic at it!!! ADHD folks tend to be creative- rather that be in art, writing, communication, etc, etc.

ADHD+ something we find interesting = wild success.

As for finding your friends kind of boring- im so glad you wrote that! Because i used to go thru that too. I felt like a horrible person about it. But now that i understand ADHD- i understand that its not me being an asshole. I cant pick my family or coworkers- but i can definitely pick my tribe of friends to associate with on my free time. I sooo much appreciate my friend group now bc interacting with them makes my brain dump some of those feel good chemicals that my ADHD brain doesn't make alot of. I dont feel like maintaining my friendships is a chore now. I look forward to talking with my friends and feel connected.

Of course you are having mood swings, lol. Look at what you are currently experiencing in life right! lol. The important stuff in life that makes our ADHD brains feel content- well all that is missing in your life right now. The good news is that there is alot of resources available for you to learn about ADHD and create a life that works for you!

you got this❤️

[Learning101]

No, you are not just lazy. Chances are you’ve would’ve been miserable as a lawyer anyway. I don’t know what your financial situation is, but sounds like you have two problems: making money, and finding meaningful work, i.e. living a happy life. It sounds to me like you are fairly young. It’s hard when you’re just starting out to figure out how to have a good life. Or you can be like me, just finally figuring it out in your 50s! Wherever you are in life, don’t despair. Telling yourself that you are doomed and there is no help is absolutely the least helpful thing you can do. Tomorrow always brings a new day and you can try again.A therapist is not necessarily a perfect solution, and they are expensive. If you are interested in trying out the medicine, you get that from a doctor, not a therapist. if you wish to become wiser in working with your emotions and your life, seek out wise people and ask them for their advice. Perhaps you can do chores for them in return for their time.

Maybe you can try books? They are a lot cheaper. If you live in a small town and don’t have access to many books, try Kindle. They have that in Africa don’t they? It’s a program where you can read books on your computer or phone. Generally they are cheaper than physical books also.

I like the book “You mean I’m not lazy stupid or crazy?“ for working with ADHD. I like the book “The Inner Matrix” for working with emotions and life choices. I like the book “Sparked” for choosing a career. I think you would also connect with the book “ The drummer and the great mountain: a guidebook to transforming adult ADD/ADHD.”

I also recommend that you learn meditation. It’s good for working with ADHD and also for dealing with emotional stuff. Try the books “How to meditate: A practical guide to making friends with your mind” by Pema Chodron, and “The Little Book of Mindfulness: 10 Minutes a Day to Less Stress, More Peace” by Patrizia Collard. You can also look for books on how to make a living as an artist. I don’t usually recommend googling things, because there’s a lot of good information on the Internet but there’s also a lot of really bad information. But you can probably find a lot of good information on the topics you’re interested in.

It’s possible to have a good life, it just takes practice and trying a lot of different things!

[Mwelwa00 in reply to Learning101]

I downloaded the book "You mean I'm not lazy crazy or stupid". This was very sound advice and I appreciate this greatly

[Learning101 in reply to Mwelwa00]

Great! Glad to hear it.

[SouLegend]

I love people for who they are. My best friend is always rude and annoying, his words.

😅

I love hanging out with him still. So there is always someone for everyone.

☺️

If you want, I can be your friend and I can also help you overcome your darkness. The void that consumes you and takes all your emotions more and more each day.

☺️

My parents were fighting daily, my Father scolded me daily, and I locked myself in my room.

But one night when I cried myself to sleep. I found my light. Her name is SouLegend. The day after, I went to my parents and forgave them for all the bad they did. Since then I devoted my life to helping people with the same problem. And I would never do it for money. I just want to help.

😇

So if you want to talk, then text me back.

☺️

[BluebirdAbove]

Hey there, this may be too simplistic but have you searched online for ADHD assessments and medication sources through the mail? What's your access to medical help /insurance? Instead of a therapist, maybe start with anyome to help you try ADHD medication and then try severa if needed to determine what works. Some other posts on here offer specific online resources. Youtube videos by Jessica McCabe are also a good starting point. Best wishes- I second the other replies as well. You may find a new world opening up with modest medication and then online resources. ADDA.org is also an amazing inexpensive resource for online groups and more.

[Mwelwa00]

Hey everyone thank you so much for your replies and advice. In all honesty I was a little nervous if anyone would reply to my message because of where I'm from but you all came through.

Good news I found the only qualified psychiatrist in my city. Sat down with her and she diagnosed me with depression. I tried to tell her that I think it's ADHD but she seemed skeptical about it. So she prescribed an antidepressant called Amitriptyline. Will that work?