ADHD Support, What could be helpful? - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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ADHD Support, What could be helpful?

N8-The-SK8 profile image
31 Replies

Hi Everyone :)

First time poster here.

As I'm learning about my own experience with ADHD, I've been spending some time trying to look into what types of actual physical support related infrastructure for us are out there, and I don't see a lot, which is pretty unfortunate and unfortunately not so surprising.

Anyways, I was just curious to know, in an ideal world, what types of support related infrastructure would be most helpful for you? Why?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts,

- Nate

* By infrastructure I mean like support groups, support systems and types of accommodations/ opportunities, but however anyone feels like interpreting the question, I'd value your input :)

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N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8
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31 Replies
Ejcox2002 profile image
Ejcox2002

Hey! Infrastructure? Do you mind elborating sorry! Meaning software, support etc?

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8

Hi!

I was thinking more in-line with like support groups, physical spaces or types of institutions, opportunities, etc.

Sorry if that wasn't clear, I'm still trying to figure out the best language to use to describe a lot of this stuff :)

Ejcox2002 profile image
Ejcox2002 in reply toN8-The-SK8

Ah no worries! Autistic me ha. There is a really good app called InFlow. They give you a coach- online learning and seminars amongst overs!

Free trial too

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toEjcox2002

Wow! that looks really cool. Just bookmarked to explore more in the future, thank you :)

Have you had any experience with any in-person support/ support group stuff?

Ejcox2002 profile image
Ejcox2002 in reply toN8-The-SK8

Because im autisitc too and am pretty bad at masking. I found that in person didn't work for me.

I would say what they wanted to hear and be fake. Where online, I opened up more probably because I don't really relate them to knowing me. I dunno..always best not in person

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toEjcox2002

It's tough feeling like we have to play by the rules of others.

What do you think could have made that in-person support feel more, I don't know..supportive?

Ejcox2002 profile image
Ejcox2002 in reply toN8-The-SK8

Probably, if the thearpist/coach had ADHD or Autism, my online one does.

You can relate to them better. Perhaps start online or even over the phone to slowly build up a bond before going to see them in person.

I'm really really bad at masking.

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toEjcox2002

That makes a lot of sense, I think I'd have to agree.

If you don't mind my asking, did it feel like your masking was more rooted in not saying how you really felt? Or was it more just in keeping with the "acceptable" social graces of the structure/space?

Ejcox2002 profile image
Ejcox2002 in reply toN8-The-SK8

I spend my life making sure I 'look normal' and say the right things each time. I follow the instructions I created.

I guess like a politician ha.

I struggle to remove the mask....

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toEjcox2002

Right! It's like having to be "On Air" or something. God do I love "clocking out" though haha...

Ejcox2002 profile image
Ejcox2002 in reply toN8-The-SK8

Yup! You are right.. Where for me I could clock out when I did online therapy

STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad

Welcome to the forum!

CHADD has a number of local chapters around the USA. They are not everywhere, and I'm sure that some don't meet anymore, but you can try searching here:

chadd.org/affiliate-locator/

There might be Meetups in your area (also try searching for Facebook groups).

Or just a Google search for "ADHD support group " and name your area or the closest couple of cities.

Mamamichl profile image
Mamamichl in reply toSTEM_Dad

Darn. The closest one is more than an hour away.

STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad in reply toMamamichl

Yeah, same for me. Nearest one is in a city an hour and a half away but I don't know my way around.

Some people join virtual groups. I would like to form a chad or other ADHD support group in my area, if I can find enough interest. It's very rural with small towns every few miles or so. I moved here from a small city anchored by a university, and now I find myself in a very blue collar region, so I'm still acclimating to the culture around here. I have only met one other person in a whole year who is open about having an ADHD diagnosis, although a few others have told me that they "probably have" ADHD in response to my disclosure.

I think that I will just have to go out on a limb and form a group, then see if anyone else joins up. Maybe just starting with a Meetup group.

(I might have given this a bit of thought over the last year... Can you tell?)

Mamamichl profile image
Mamamichl in reply toSTEM_Dad

Even though we aren’t in the same area, I would totally go to your virtual group 😊… if I’m allowed.

STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad in reply toMamamichl

I wasn't planning on a virtual group, but all the towns here are so spread out that I probably should make one.

I'll give that some thought. 🤔

It certainly seems like a good idea. When I went through an ADHD coaching program, I was part of a virtual group, and it was really helpful.

PinkPanda23 profile image
PinkPanda23 in reply toSTEM_Dad

Please do! Virtual groups are easier to fit into schedules, and you could find more participants than in your physical rural area. I'd make an attempt to come! I do zoom 12 step meetings and they are life savers.

PinkPanda23 profile image
PinkPanda23 in reply toMamamichl

Me too!

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toSTEM_Dad

Hi!

Thanks so much for the welcome and info!

Unfortunately, where I am (VT), the options are pretty slim for specifically ADHD focused support. And like you, I've also been mulling over what it'd be like to join and even start a group myself.

Have you found any resources for starting your own?

ImTheDude profile image
ImTheDude

Would love to know what types of work accommodations have been helpful, easy to approve. As far as tools I use, a timer I set to 30 minutes at a time then a quick break. Also try and use headphones to block out sounds when I’m in a work environment that supports it.

Mamamichl profile image
Mamamichl in reply toImTheDude

I ask my employers to be straightforward and tell me asap when I do things Improperly. I take redirection well in the moment, but my emotional disregulation happens when they pull me into a meeting room and berate me for something that happened weeks ago that I don’t remember.

I also ask for interviews on video chat when I can. I’m more honest and less distracted by environments. Old school heaters especially!

Having a specific location/home for things is a big boon too. Fidgets and fun days at work are super beneficial.

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toMamamichl

Hi!

If you wouldn't mind sharing, I'd be curious to know, how did you broach the subject of your needs with your employer?

Mamamichl profile image
Mamamichl in reply toN8-The-SK8

Well, at my interviews, I talk openly about my adhd and what positives there are because of it. I tell them my adhd superpower helps me handle emergent situations and think outside the box. I go to HR and let them know of my disability after hired. I work in education, and openly talk about it with my teachers, which makes some teachers awkward, but many are receptive as well. I ask for redirections in the moment straightforward to help me not dig myself into a hole, or in writing so that I can reread when not emotionally disregulated. It has helped me more often than not.

I have gotten written up because of my adhd behaviors. Mostly because of my blurting. Some supervisors don’t understand. Because I’m an open book, its hard for me to stick away from inappropriate subjects since we are talking working with teens.

I lost my last job with my adhd, ptsd and anxiety. The written information has helped me because I am able to work with BOLI with my disability discrimination investigation. My employers literally say things as “does not pay attention to body language”, and “nervous about doing x job”. I explained that they are literally labeling my disability symptoms from the dsm…

The way I look at it, is if I mention it in my interview, I will find bosses that are generally more understanding.

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toMamamichl

Thanks for being so candid about your experience, I really appreciate it :)

It makes so much sense that you brought that out right from the get-go, it's like not only did were you proactive but also you got the opportunity to control the narrative and say "hey, these are the things that are different about me but that different is actually pretty great if you let me be me and here's why..."

I'm definitely going to keep this in the back of my mind for my next employment opportunity, I've never been proactive about my ADHD in a professional setting ( just didn't really know, you know ? ) but now I'm definitely going to be more vocal about that type of self-advocacy. Thanks again ;)

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toImTheDude

Hi!

Thanks for sharing!

I'd also be curious to know what's worked professionally for folks as far as accommodations go.

Music is so essential for me, I find it helps so much with emotional regulation.

When you're timing a task, once you've taken a break, how do you get yourself to go back to it? I have trouble getting back into focus mode once it's been broken.

Mamamichl profile image
Mamamichl in reply toN8-The-SK8

I’ve tried music since it helps me as well in the same way. However, since my job entails safety of children, I can’t be distracted from the environment. This is what my last employer said.

As for getting back to a task, I finish my last timing of the task by planning the next steps that I will do to start the task back up.

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toMamamichl

Planning is so essential! One thing I've been working on lately in addition is visualization.

I've noticed at least part of some of my executive dysfunction stuff can be rooted in having trouble with my brain conceptualizing the individual micro steps to do the "thing" but when I can see myself inside my head starting the chain of tasks, I have an easier time actually following through.

DragonJeep profile image
DragonJeep

Not sure how this is for others, but I really wish there was a closer collaboration between my primary doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist. I share a lot more with my therapist and I wish that information was able to get to my prescribing doctors more effectively for treatment options.

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8 in reply toDragonJeep

That sounds really frustrating, sometimes it feels for me like the medical system gets in its own way a lot of the time.

Hi N8-The-SK8 , I know a lot of people already mentioned it, but finding a support group (in person or virtual) could be a huge help as you navigate your new dxd. Additionally, working with an ADHD coach or adult executive function coach could help you develop a deeper understanding of how your brain works while honing systems that allow you to live the life you want! CHADD has a directory where you can find coaches to work with!

N8-The-SK8 profile image
N8-The-SK8

Hi Eric,

Great thoughts. Have you had any experience being involved with an ADHD focused support group personally? If so, I'd be curious to know what your experience was like.

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