As I'm learning about my own experience with ADHD, I've been spending some time trying to look into what types of actual physical support related infrastructure for us are out there, and I don't see a lot, which is pretty unfortunate and unfortunately not so surprising.
Anyways, I was just curious to know, in an ideal world, what types of support related infrastructure would be most helpful for you? Why?
Look forward to hearing your thoughts,
- Nate
* By infrastructure I mean like support groups, support systems and types of accommodations/ opportunities, but however anyone feels like interpreting the question, I'd value your input
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N8-The-SK8
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Because im autisitc too and am pretty bad at masking. I found that in person didn't work for me.
I would say what they wanted to hear and be fake. Where online, I opened up more probably because I don't really relate them to knowing me. I dunno..always best not in person
That makes a lot of sense, I think I'd have to agree.
If you don't mind my asking, did it feel like your masking was more rooted in not saying how you really felt? Or was it more just in keeping with the "acceptable" social graces of the structure/space?
CHADD has a number of local chapters around the USA. They are not everywhere, and I'm sure that some don't meet anymore, but you can try searching here:
Yeah, same for me. Nearest one is in a city an hour and a half away but I don't know my way around.
Some people join virtual groups. I would like to form a chad or other ADHD support group in my area, if I can find enough interest. It's very rural with small towns every few miles or so. I moved here from a small city anchored by a university, and now I find myself in a very blue collar region, so I'm still acclimating to the culture around here. I have only met one other person in a whole year who is open about having an ADHD diagnosis, although a few others have told me that they "probably have" ADHD in response to my disclosure.
I think that I will just have to go out on a limb and form a group, then see if anyone else joins up. Maybe just starting with a Meetup group.
(I might have given this a bit of thought over the last year... Can you tell?)
Please do! Virtual groups are easier to fit into schedules, and you could find more participants than in your physical rural area. I'd make an attempt to come! I do zoom 12 step meetings and they are life savers.
Unfortunately, where I am (VT), the options are pretty slim for specifically ADHD focused support. And like you, I've also been mulling over what it'd be like to join and even start a group myself.
Have you found any resources for starting your own?
Would love to know what types of work accommodations have been helpful, easy to approve. As far as tools I use, a timer I set to 30 minutes at a time then a quick break. Also try and use headphones to block out sounds when I’m in a work environment that supports it.
I ask my employers to be straightforward and tell me asap when I do things Improperly. I take redirection well in the moment, but my emotional disregulation happens when they pull me into a meeting room and berate me for something that happened weeks ago that I don’t remember.
I also ask for interviews on video chat when I can. I’m more honest and less distracted by environments. Old school heaters especially!
Having a specific location/home for things is a big boon too. Fidgets and fun days at work are super beneficial.
Well, at my interviews, I talk openly about my adhd and what positives there are because of it. I tell them my adhd superpower helps me handle emergent situations and think outside the box. I go to HR and let them know of my disability after hired. I work in education, and openly talk about it with my teachers, which makes some teachers awkward, but many are receptive as well. I ask for redirections in the moment straightforward to help me not dig myself into a hole, or in writing so that I can reread when not emotionally disregulated. It has helped me more often than not.
I have gotten written up because of my adhd behaviors. Mostly because of my blurting. Some supervisors don’t understand. Because I’m an open book, its hard for me to stick away from inappropriate subjects since we are talking working with teens.
I lost my last job with my adhd, ptsd and anxiety. The written information has helped me because I am able to work with BOLI with my disability discrimination investigation. My employers literally say things as “does not pay attention to body language”, and “nervous about doing x job”. I explained that they are literally labeling my disability symptoms from the dsm…
The way I look at it, is if I mention it in my interview, I will find bosses that are generally more understanding.
Thanks for being so candid about your experience, I really appreciate it
It makes so much sense that you brought that out right from the get-go, it's like not only did were you proactive but also you got the opportunity to control the narrative and say "hey, these are the things that are different about me but that different is actually pretty great if you let me be me and here's why..."
I'm definitely going to keep this in the back of my mind for my next employment opportunity, I've never been proactive about my ADHD in a professional setting ( just didn't really know, you know ? ) but now I'm definitely going to be more vocal about that type of self-advocacy. Thanks again
I'd also be curious to know what's worked professionally for folks as far as accommodations go.
Music is so essential for me, I find it helps so much with emotional regulation.
When you're timing a task, once you've taken a break, how do you get yourself to go back to it? I have trouble getting back into focus mode once it's been broken.
I’ve tried music since it helps me as well in the same way. However, since my job entails safety of children, I can’t be distracted from the environment. This is what my last employer said.
As for getting back to a task, I finish my last timing of the task by planning the next steps that I will do to start the task back up.
Planning is so essential! One thing I've been working on lately in addition is visualization.
I've noticed at least part of some of my executive dysfunction stuff can be rooted in having trouble with my brain conceptualizing the individual micro steps to do the "thing" but when I can see myself inside my head starting the chain of tasks, I have an easier time actually following through.
Not sure how this is for others, but I really wish there was a closer collaboration between my primary doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist. I share a lot more with my therapist and I wish that information was able to get to my prescribing doctors more effectively for treatment options.
I agree. But, there is something called HIPPA. I can't remember what each letter stands for. I'm not too sure if I'm going to explain it correctly either but, I'm going to try. HIPPA is a medical law that prohibits the sharing of medical information unless the patient gives consent for the info to be shared. It is against the law to share any medical information without the patients consent. At least that's what I've heard. You could do a Google search to see if I'm correct.
Hi N8-The-SK8 , I know a lot of people already mentioned it, but finding a support group (in person or virtual) could be a huge help as you navigate your new dxd. Additionally, working with an ADHD coach or adult executive function coach could help you develop a deeper understanding of how your brain works while honing systems that allow you to live the life you want! CHADD has a directory where you can find coaches to work with!
Great thoughts. Have you had any experience being involved with an ADHD focused support group personally? If so, I'd be curious to know what your experience was like.
Hi Nate. Welcome to the group. This is a great question. I agree that (other than this online support group) there really isn't much support for people that have similar learning issues like you do. I totally agree. I wish that there was. An actual physical building where activities/events/parties/dances/social groups can meet up for some fun. When it comes to social groups I wouldn't mind the following:
1. A group for board games/video games/trivia/etc. This group would meet once a week to play different board games (we'll have different topics for the games like food, t.v shows, etc), to talk about boardgames, trivia, etc. Also to talk about and play video games (like Super Mario, Mortal Kombat, etc).
2. Travel group. This group would talk about people's experience traveling. Where they've been, where would they like to go, etc. This group would also (once in a while) go on trips together. Maybe a weekend in NYC. Maybe a couple of weeks in Walt Disney World. Maybe go visit a sea aquarium etc.
3. Arts/Crafts group. This group would be a discussion group about art activities/events/museums/etc. They would also paint things, make bird houses, etc.
4. Museum group. This group would be a discussion group about museums and go on actual museum trips. Like the National Museum of Science in NYC.
5. Movie group. This is a discussion group about movies. Talk about your favorite movie, director, actor/actress, film, etc. They'll also make trips to see movies at least once every two weeks and then discuss the movie during the next meeting.
6. Music group. This group would discuss music. What's your favorite genre of music, lyrics, music production, who's your favorite singer, etc. They'll also go to local concerts by local artists and go to the big concerts of singers like Pink and then discuss the concert during the next meeting.
7. Theater group. This group would talk about plays/musicals. What's your favorite genre of theatre/musicals, how to write a scripts, how to act on stage, etc. They'll also go see local plays/musicals and go on a trip (at least once or twice a year) to NYC to see a broadway play/musical and discuss it during the next meeting.
8. Book group. A group that picks a book to read once a month. Every week they'll meet to discuss the book and what they like/don't like and wish that the author would have the characters do. After the finish reading the book they'll have a party inspired by the book, go see a play/musical or movie that the book was made into or inspired by.
9. Culinary arts group. This group will meet to discuss the food industry. They'll talk about the famous chefs (like Jose Andres who's a famous chef from Spain). They'll talk about how to use herbs and spices correctly. They'll talk about how to make vegetarian dishes taste good. All the topics will evolve around food. Maybe one week the discussion would be about Chinesse food. They'll talk about how to make Won Ton Soup, share recipes, actually bring the ingredient and cook the soup, etc. After a week of talking about Chinese food they'll go have lunch or dinner at a Chinese restaurant or have it delivered to where the meeting is taking place.
There should be various groups. A group for every person and what they're interested in. That's what I would do.
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