Desire to view disturbing images

[Daffodileyes]

Hi community,

I have a strange habit I've never divulged to anyone.

Trigger Warning: mention of suicide and graphic material

For reasons I do not understand, when I am feeling understimulated, I search for graphic and disturbing images and videos. These include car accidents, suicide, shootings, etc.. I have zero violent tendencies and no urge to hurt myself or anyone else. I feel quite ashamed of this odd habit, and I am wondering if anyone experiences this. I wonder if it results from a dopamine craving, but I don't quite understand why I seek stimulation in this manner. Any insight is much appreciated.

[pragman]

Happens to me too, but I've noticed that its just curiosity and its pretty harmless. I never show my youtube history to anyone else though. I'm pretty sure it would freak them out lol.