Am I just making symptoms fit?

[Janice717]

After struggling with anxiety and depression for years and countless sessions of counselling, I'm wondering if I could have adult ADD. I have been reading a lot of articles and posts and it's like I wrote them about myself. Thinking about my childhood I struggled from an early age with extreme shyness and separation anxiety when I went to school. I had a problem with eating at primary school which stemmed from having to lay the tables and clear away, but told to hurry. This resulted in me being unable to eat due to tightness in my throat as we were told we must finish everything on our plates, I ended up vomiting.

I always felt "different" and even asked my aunt if I'd been adopted.

Learning was hard and I seemed to take double the time than others in my class for things to "sink in"

Work was worse as I could never stick to one task to completion, instead trying to juggle three or four things and not finishing anything until I'd become so stressed I couldn't cope. I was even given a disciplinary for not meeting targets.

I've never been able to cope with loss, whether through bereavement or the end of a relationship. My father died suddenly when I was 12 and from then on I craved attention from any man I met, but never had a meaningful relationship until I was in my mid-thirties. I met a lovely man and we had a daughter but he died of cancer 13 years ago. I've been on my own ever since and long for love but don't trust myself to risk a relationship. I have brain fog, feel I'm not really here and sometimes "zone out" while talking to people. I'm also seeing a neurologist who has diagnosed hereditary cerebellar ataxia but genetic tests have not identified which type. I have hypothyroidism and take levothyroxine.

I feel a mess, physically and mentally. I don't know what to do.

[Bmint34_]

It sounds tough for you. Some of the things you wrote I can identify with. What is cerebellar ataxia? I don’t get over losses either.

[Janice717 in reply to Bmint34_]

Thank you for your reply.Cerebellar ataxia affects balance and coordination, causing sufferers to fall. It's caused by a loss of nerve cells in the cerebellum (this shows up in a MRI scan of the brain)

It can be hereditary as in my case as several members of my family also have the condition.

Have you been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD?

I am reluctant to ask my GP as I'm sure she would put my symptoms down to depression. My memory has got so bad recently I thought I may have dementia but tests by a memory clinic have dismissed it. I seem to be in a permanent dream and wonder where I am sometimes, it's all very scary. I've also become very intolerant, to loud noise, certain voices on TV and barking dogs! Perhaps I'm just a grumpy old woman! (mid 60s but feel like I'm still in my 20s)

Best wishes