Need support

[alokjnv10]

I have had so many nice things happen in my life like my boyfriends parents took us on a trip recently, theyre planning a christmas party at work and ive been going to the gym before or after work most weeks but i just can't seem to shake this feeling of emptiness. I broke down in tears yesterday listening to this song and thinking of how i lost someone years ago and i just think the truth is i dont know how to cheer myself up again anymore.

I get ignored by friends on group chat nowadays and i feel like its always always my effort to try and talk to friends in my life bar maybe one or two people and my boyfriends family. I feel like that sounded really pretentious or something but the last time ive gone to see my friends ive always organised the meeting and the time but they havent gone and done this themselves. I just want someone to reach out to me instead of vice versa but i get left because of what happened in my childhood thinking theyve lost interest and that nobody cared about me in the first place and that really upsets me. Im also sad cause i didnt get to dress up for halloween and i was really looking forward to that but i couldnt because we are trying to save money. I feel like if i use my energy on trying to meet up again im just going to repeat this cycle until my friends actually decide that im too boring to hang out with.

[F_RN_Dx_at_39]

You can't count on others to rally and create hangout events. If you keep creating opportunities for gatherings, and people are enjoying them, you could ask for help continuing them, and see if you can get one or two others to host the next one.Also, you don't need to spend a lot of $ for halloween. I think my best costume was made out of bubble wrap and tape. I cut and taped together a rain jacket with pockets, skirt and madonna style top, something colorful underneath for contrast. If you want to dress up, you just need to get creative. prudentpennypincher.com/diy...

[wtfadhd]

unchecked negativity can cause us to spiral downward fast!!! next thing we know, it zaps us of our wonderful ADHD creativity and puts stuff in our mind that isnt based on any truth at all, ugh. for example- u said your friends dont step up and organize gatherings ..,, then in end you concluded that you were a boring person- yikes!

maybe you are just REALLY good at organizing social events and so they leave that up to you… maybe your friends are struggling themselves and isolating for their own reasons that have nothing to do with you….

there are lots of possibilities- not everything is about you personally. try to remember that.❤️

good luck with the costume!!!

[ADHD33]

I’ve been in a very similar place before. It really sucks to feel that way and I just want to validate that it’s totally normal to be feeling down when you feel like you aren’t valued by your friends. Groups of friends can be especially tricky (as opposed to individual friendships). Are you working regularly with a therapist? It could be really helpful to start the process of better differentiating what is your insecurity vs what may a toxic group of friends. Sometimes it’s even a little bit of both feeding each other! Highly recommend. The more you understand yourself and the situation the more confident and stronger you’ll become. You’ll also start to build the skill of choosing friends and evaluating friendships/relationships and determining who/which to prioritize your energy toward… to make sure you feel like your social network is a supportive and fun add-on to your life and not this kind of negative influence. Also, if you do have 1-2 friends that you find are equally active in reaching out to you, focus on deepening your friendships with them. They sound like good ones. Play to the winners, ride the waves, whatever stage of life you’re in… this stage will pass… these group dynamics will change, new people will enter your life and you’ll look back at this time as a learning experience. In the meantime, know you aren’t alone - You have a cheering squad here!!

[EADGBE-ADHD]

I’ll talk to you. PM me and we can chat. I get the “abandoned friends” thing.

[StinkbugWarrior]

♥️♥️😊

I am totally getting what you are putting out. I got married, moved, and lost all my friends. Then he left and I had nobody (except three babies) because they gave up trying to hang out with me after I moved. And it's gotten worse over time because I isolated after my ex, as I was raising my little ones, and since then I e gotten more socially awkward. Maybe your friends still love you, just have gotten caught up with life and they aren't able to prioritize their social lives right now, ya know? They might have responsibilities that are taking up so much of their time and energy that when they have downtime they are tired and just trying to restore their battery. You sound like you are blessed with a great boyfriend and boyfriend's family! And if you have the social skills to get out and make new friends, do it! There isn't any law that says you can't have more than one tribe. Do you have any hobbies or want to? You can maybe meet new friends pursuing something that makes you happy. And if you don't meet anyone you click with at least you got something to show for your efforts. As for Halloween... Instead of being stuck in that bummed place about something you can't change, you should start planning what you want to dress up as next year. Make a list of things you need and start putting them away as you have a little extra money here and there so you know next Halloween will be awesome and you won't have to stress out about dropping a bunch of money at once. ♥️