Scared of meds

[The_wOnderer]

I'm scared of bupropion. I can't bring myself to buy the thing and take it. Although I already take paroxetin (antidepressant), I always had an irrational fear of medications and foods have to "earn my trust" little at a time before being included in my diet. But this, this is worse. I'm terrified, I've been completely scattered from anxiety for days, I can't make anything of my day, muscles and nerves start to ache, I'm more fidgety, sensitive to sounds and breathing feels heavy. And bupropion has not even entered my house yet.

Possible reasons why I'm so afraid:

1) Distrust for anything that gets through my defenses promising to be beneficial, and then being able to do whatever bad it wants while I have no control over it (meds, food, washing machines, ovens, parents and the list goes on) And what if the damage is irreversible?

2) I'm already taking a med and struggling to trust, the idea of being on 2 meds may be too much for me. Two substances altering my brain's functioning. Is that even my brain anymore?

3) it was prescribed for a lifelong issue I have. Hence there's a good chance I will need to take it lifelong. I'll do whatever is in my power not to make it happen

4) l felt like it was prescribed almost carelessly, was it the only option? Shouldn't the doctor explain which treatments are available, how they work and let me choose? And why didn't I ask? It didn't occur to me in that moment.

5) it has an unpleasant name.

6) they eat me 💊😱

Oh, and 7) it is likely to make me loose appetite. I don't want that source of dopamine not to be effective anymore 😭 like... fooooood! 🤩🤤✨

[witherrae]

If you really don't want to take it then you don't have to.1. If you have side effects they usually go away pretty quickly, maybe a couple of weeks, when your body gets used the new med. There's an extended release version and an instant release version (just got prescribed that to help with nicotine withdrawals). My doctor has me cutting the IR in half to start small and get used to it slowly to hopefully avoid any nasty side effects. 4 or 5 years ago when it was the only thing I took I didn't have any but I tried it again last year and I think it interacted with my Adderall, made me way too jittery.

If you're worried about safety you can do what I do and obsess over articles. Totally not healthy but I know so much useless information now. Lol

2. Yes it's still your brain. I struggle with it too and then I remember that most people naturally produce the chemicals that I'm missing and we live in a world where it's incredibly difficult succeed if you don't have stability and mental health is a huge part of that. Does that make sense?

3. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'll need to take an antidepressant for the rest of my life. I don't want to but my depression is genetic and impossible to manage without it. And if anyone feels like saying anything about it they should first remember that a person's decision to take any medication for however long is between them and their doctor. They can take their unsolicited opinions and shove it.

4. It's hard to remember all your questions for your doctor, I have to write everything down and I still forget half the time. I think buproprion is one of the first line treatment options doctors pick because of it's safety, I could be wrong though. I hope your doctor is open to answering questions and giving you options and respecting your decision if you say no. If they're not you should probably look for a new one.

5. The brand name is Wellbutrin if that makes you feel better. Most medications have stupid names.

6. Huh?

7. If that does happen to you it'll technically be a side effect and most likely go away quickly. See answer to 1. And there's tons of other options. You'll figure it out, it just takes time.

[The_wOnderer in reply to witherrae]

😂 "they eat me" was just to emphasize the irrational fear.Yeah I'm trying not to obsess over articles.

Hugs for the genetic depression, glad you found a way to feel better though, I see how important and relieving it can be.

My reservations about taking two meds at the same time has nothing to do with others' judgement. It's just me, myself and I.

I know most people's brain naturally works differently, but this is my brain, and first I want to know it and see what it can do working its way. It's not just a deficit to compensate, it's a complex peculiar functioning that makes some things harder and others easier. First I want to explore it, see what it can do, and if there are essential things that my brain can't do, I'll take a medication, and I'll be more able to see the changes

[witherrae in reply to The_wOnderer]

Lol, in that case sleeping pills "eat me". It sounds like you have a really good plan for this. Hopefully trying new meds on your own terms/at your own pace will help ease the anxiety. Good luck.

[The_wOnderer in reply to witherrae]

Thanks a bunch for supporting me 😍

[witherrae in reply to The_wOnderer]

Of course 🙂

[Hidden]

I also am scared of medications but slowly am beginning to think that in some cases they may help. Anyways, and I may be an extreme exception, but I took bupropion and it never seemed to do anything at all to, or for me. I took it for 9 months and then stopped after talking with my psychiatrist. Also, regarding 7) I gained over 20 pounds while on bupropion and most definitely still had dopamine.

[The_wOnderer in reply to Hidden]

I absolutely know and think that meds are not always bad. To some people they are necessary. Others can choose. I first would like to know if I can choose or not. I want to see what my brain can do when treated right, then decide if I need another med or not

[RTblue]

I had very similar reservations! Paxil was also my first prescribed anti depressant for PMDD/ what I now call “ the pause”. Yay mid 40’s. Anyway, It took me months to finally fill it and put the first pill in my mouth. I was scared to death! I had turned down birth control/ any type of prescription drug for 20 years for my pms troubles. Well, in my mid 40s and going through the “pause” I became desperate and I couldn’t bounce back anymore on my own. I just shut down. So, the paxil, it had so many unpleasant side effects, to include gaining 20 plus lbs.. It also made me sleepy/ lazy and lacking empathy but I wasn’t moody/ angry or sad, but was not a good quality of life. I finally got off Paxil after 5/ 6 months thanks to friends pleading for me to see a professional & not a primary care doc for meds. I was leery of seeing a psychiatrist and had already been going back and forth afraid and stressed about the reality of taking a drug. This was an ENORMOUs big deal for me. Well, I must say, my saving grace was being referred to a PMHNP-BC which is a phyciatric nurse practitioner but she also promotes natural ways/ healthy living but won't hesitate to prescribe something if she deems it beneficial. They are so less intense and have a different approach then you typical psychiatrist. So, looonger story short, I started a low dose of Zoloft.... didn’t seem to do much for me but I saw some change. She raised jt but in the end, just wasn’t giving me enough relief. She suggested adding Wellbutrin, and I freaked... wait, take 2 things together!?? Also, I too had heard some rumors about it.. but like I said, I was desperate for relief and I trusted her so took both. I was scared of the same things you mentioned... and will it change my personality, make me worse/ dependent on drugs forever. She assured me that wasn’t the case and to try for a year. She said, for some, the meds can reset/ balance your hormones/ physiology and set your body back in course... along with counseling/ CBT. So that is what I did! I don’t feel altered, different.. only better. Anxiety, mood/ stress was significantly reduced. I loved not over reacting and having bits of angry outburst/ constant tears. Well, it was this path that ultimately brought me to a new diagnosis of ADHD. I don’t think I was ever clinically depressed but either way, I am not anymore and my new found diagnosis has been earth shattering but also life changing to include validation and explanation of my lifelong frustrations, struggles, failures / low self esteem to name a few... I am only aprox 3 months in from ADD diagnosis but plan to slowly come off the antidepressants as I begin what is expected to be most beneficial, Adderall. So yea, going from being 100% anti prescription drugs and skeptic & leery of doctors, I am currently taking 3 drugs and slowly but surly climbing out of the pit of misery. They work together and it is not uncommon for wellbruton to be taken with another anti depressant. Don’t be afraid. Just make sure you have a good doc and willing to trust them. I have been know to buck/ doubt every recommendations and that is not beneficial to anyone. 😁👊🏽🙏🏽

[The_wOnderer in reply to RTblue]

Yayyyyy!!! So happy and proud for the change you achieved in your life!!! 😁🎊👏 Don't get me wrong, I don't think that meds are objectively bad. Thinking more about it, my block is not just irrational fear. Just the diagnosis helped me A LOT, things are changing already, and I want to see what my brain can do when listened to and treated right. Then, when/if necessary, take the meds, and I'll also be more able to appreciate the effects

[StoneJeweler]

Bupropion does not take you over suddenly, being so fearful about the drug means you have some deep issues with medications that you need to explore the reason for having them. I took that med for many years with no problems, but when I try something new I pick a few days that I know will be quiet and not full of activities. I take a low dose and pay attention to any changes I notice, then I will increase the amount slowly. If you don't like the way you feel stop taking it and tell you doctor about it. The name brand is called Wellbutrin, is that name better for you.I strongly suggest you get help with a therapist for your fears. The way doctors only want to take 10-15 min with each patient is frustrating. research is plentiful on the internet, just be sure you are aware of who you are reading about. Ask your doctor questions and if won't answer then ask for someone who can explain the drugs for you. Blessings to you.

[The_wOnderer in reply to StoneJeweler]

Yeah, I'm well aware that my fear of meds is irrat and has deep roots. I also have c-ptsd, and I've been working on it all my life. Made a lot of progress, really a lot, but this fear lasts for now.Thinking more about it, I understood that my block wasn't just irrational fear. I've just been diagnosed and this is helping so much. Things are changing for the better, and I want to see where these changes bring me. I want to get to know my brain and see what it can do when accepted and treated right, then take a medication when/if necessary, and it will be easier to see what exactly the med is doing/improving