Good Morning Group!
I try and post on here periodically but I am not super consistent (SHOCKER lmao).
But, I do pop on and post periodically... SO......
I would love to hear how everyone is doing today?
How are you feeling?
What's your plan for the day?
Good morning! From HappyH to PositiveP, we must be kindred spirits.
I got up an hour early to see the full moon set over the river -- it was the perfect combination of setting before sunrise but not too early to get up, and clear sky, and the summer storms that took down some trees and opened up my view. GORGEOUS.
My plan for today is a visit to a new PCP, since my old one retired and I wanted one closer to where I live now anyway. Fingers crossed. Tomorrow a new tele-shrink, moving forward with figuring out this ADD thing. Yeah, more fingers crossed for that one!
Yes I do believe we are kindred spirits!
I am spending the day with my spouse, that is why I went "FULL THROTTLE CLEAN MODE" yesterday after work! It took me a minute to get into the idea of cleaning since I was at the-- "we could just burn it down and start again" level of dirty but.. SUCCESS!
So....Now I get to enjoy my day off and not have to be spending the day cleaning. I do have 3(ish) loads of laundry to complete yet but... It is early. Do you ever get like that? Where you'll go way to long without cleaning and you find yourself playing games on the phone or replying to old old email-- anything-- to keep from getting started but then you do and it really isn't as bad as your brain made it out to be??
Now, when this pandemic started.. Girl... I was cleaning out cabinets I didn't even know I had... but now.. Unless we are planning a barbeque with the neighbors I'm like... Meh... I will watch all the seasons of television over again with an entire birthday cake and a fork...
I have a schedule of chores. Yesterday was clean-the-bathroom day. I forgot! *sigh* I mean, I didn't forget all day long, I just didn't remember at times when I could get to it, or if I could ... I put it off to later in the day, and THEN I forgot. Bad. One of the most amazing, totally obvious once you think of it, things I have learned in the past few years is that "I'm not in the mood, I'll do it later" is 100% bull. Because I will NEVER, never ever, be "in the mood" to clean the bathroom. NEVER! So, if I want it done, I might as well just do it and stop waiting to "feel like it."
But my rule is that, beyond the most superficial stuff, that chore does not get pushed to the next day, it gets pushed to the next day when it's already scheduled. That is, it's not piled on top of Thursday's chores, it just means next Wednesday bathroom day it will be a little dirtier. Honestly, this past year I have really been focused on getting my house clean, and forming habits to have it (more) consistently clean, and I am really seeing and feeling a big difference now. But it's been a process!
"I'm not in the mood, I'll do it later" is 100% bull.
That one made me Literally LOL! I know the feeling!
So.. "Motivation" is such a canned concept so what I do is.... I actually will "bribe" myself with little rewards like I am a child. I am 34 and will say "OK Rachel, if you get your chores done you can get a treat" Which sounds just a silly as it actually is BUT DANG if it doesn't work! I am all like "Woo.. new coffee creamer or heck yes.... candy bar" ::SMH:: I feel really silly typing that out but... you gotta stick with what works! I have tried to put myself on like a "chore schedule" but... nope.
Some days-- If I put on pants... That's calls for celebration.
Now, I will say that I am fortunate to have a fantastic husband who has seen it all when it come to mental health challenges- the good bad and ugly!- and learning how to be brave enough to say here's what I can and cannot do today! He's also fantastic with letting me know I am appreciated when I am able to "win at adulting."
Then there are times when you clean out your pantry and find an ancient brownie in a Tupperware that.... you think is a brownie but not COMPLETELY sure... or you vacuum the entire upstairs of your house and realize you didn't put the canister back on the machine so.. CONGRATS you get to do it again lmao
Yes.
Both true stories!
What's your silliest ADHD cleaning fail?
Well, I've done both of those.... Forgetting to put the lid on the compost bucket, so a) that powerful smell of banana peels and b) fruit flies, which I swear spontaneously generate whenever conditions are ripe (pun intended).
As for treats, sure, tried and true strategy. Only, I try to avoid treats that a) are fattening or b) break the budget. Something like "watch a movie" or "call my favorite sister" or "browse through new music recommendations based on my playlist"
I can sum up the whole garbage composting with--- Yum..? lol
I lost 40 lbs before this whole pandemic... Now... I have cake for dinner.... well did so... I just don't use my scale right now lol and I am big on calling/writing/chatting with those I care about its way more fulfilling than buying stuff I have learned!
You're a music fan too?? I just asked Aimee this but... What is your "GO TO" or "Song that always makes the day better no matter what?
mmmm I don't really have just one. I have a "cheer up" playlist, that's really more of an "upbeat" playlist. Everything from salsa to samba to fiddle tunes to punk to (even) weird(er), offbeat stuff. I like to sing along with everything, and I speak fluent Spanish and a good bit of Portuguese and French, so my playlist is pretty wide-ranging. I think that about 90% of my memory is made up of song lyrics. And random botanical species names.
Here is a good one I just heard yesterday, though -- both upbeat beat and super positive lyrics, Try Everything by Shakira:
youtube.com/watch?v=c6rP-YP...
and Shakira has ADHD --- according to Wikipedia, and I believe it. She is a great role model!
Hello!
I am hoping you are having a good day.
I really struggling atm if i am honest. Lots of various mental health conditions and physical issues, and they are all just beating me up.
Just trying hard to plod on, but fed up going 'I need help' and it not really being acknowledged, or it is, and then still nothing. I know I cant control other people and their heads etc but when its people in the medical field that you are MEANT to rely on, its hard to not feel like throwing your hands in the air, defeated shouting 'well why should i care about me' Cos its a lot of energy to do when things are rubbish.
But I am not defeated yet. so on I plod.
Todays plan is to finish resetting loads of passwords, as my computer has flagged a data breech. So fun times, I can forget loads of new passwords haha
As quoted by Dory, Finding Nemo, 'Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, what do we do, we swim. Swim!'
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time ... pulling for you over here.
How does the UK health service work for mental health? (you mentioned your location in your profile. I looked because an American probably would say "garbage" instead of "rubbish")
NHS is long waiting lists most of the time, and covid has made that worse, I cannot go private as I am not working currently, but that becomes a cycle, need to get help, need funds to access help, too unwell to work, need to work to have funds.
But I have reached out to all the free services I can without my doctor refering me, but you can see any doctor at the practice, so I have spoken to 3 different ones, all are partners of the practice, I get told there is nothing they can do. Does not help the mood. I was lucky to have a great doctor diagnose my ADHD, who I think has ADHD herself, and who discharged me in March before leaving the NHS for her private practice (happy for her, sad for me) I looked at her prices, sadly very out of my range, but she says her son has ADHD so actually grateful for getting her as my doctor, as I felt like she got what I said, instead of just nodding.
So I am awaiting the free services to call about 1-to-1 as they agree I need some more support right now, and have done a couple of virtual groups. So just hoping the ball rolls quickly. But the news pretty much says (when I catch any as I am avoiding it) that all the mental health services are overwhelmed, before it was Covid, now it is mental health and now covid seems to b back again, so I worry about the staff there. They are not paid enough for the wonderful work they do at the NHS.
Are you working with a therapist too or are you just struggling with the psychiatrists?
The reason I ask is that I have personally noticed that the prescribing doctors can be a bit "cold" unintentionally because they are so busy and that is why I decided to add a "talky doctor" as my husband calls them lol... I hear you with funding healthcare ESPECIALLY mental healthcare-- I am in the US and the doctors that are available for those without funds are.. at least here-- TERRIBLY overworked and it doesn't help us who are needing assistance to feel comfortable or welcome.. that has been my approach here....
So, I am going to suggest betterhelp.com it is a website that provides mobile therapists for a reasonable cost. Let them know your specific financial needs and they really go above and beyond to help make accessing therapy available for all incomes.. REALLY.. I had to stop therapy a while back because I just could not afford it..
They reached out to me and asked why I left and I said I just can't pay and they set me up with a structure that I was able to afford... I had just lost my job at the time and really needed to be able to see someone individually but.. well.. Just couldn't-- I was so embarrassed and just.. defeated.. I heard of betterhelp through a podcast that I listen to called psychcentral and they offered a free week trial that's how I originally heard of them and it was.. wonderful. They do text calls or even video chats and you can actually see them without waiting waiting waiting... I have a link for a free week I can send you here if you want... dunno if UK is different or what not but... regardless... I am here to chat whenever you need too =)
I have heard of better help, had a look saw cost and just sunk to be honest. It is so hard when theres a lack of funds. Even when I had some NHS treatment, it was only 6 weeks, so 6 hours. I said then when I was told I needed longer term, they said they'd write to the p as they cant refer for long term without it, and they just lied and said that they advised I stayed under their care on a paid basis. Which I had already said I could not afford, I was fighting my benefits being stopped, and it took a year.
Theres not enough appeciation to the NHS Staff, they already said when themews reported increase of mental illness being diagnosed with the lockdown over here, and the Doctors pointed out then that they didnt have the staff for those who already were diagnosed before the lockdown. and when our covid cases dropped (not so much now idiots partying at unis and in london) they said the NHS staff are still so stretched due to the mental health cases. Boris just infuriated me, he gave those working through the lockdown, key workers, a raise, but teachers here didnt do what they were meant to for the students so they are behind on education and they got a bigger raise than the NHS staff, whos raise hasnt even matched the teachers old wages, its still below. What the heck!
I am sure Trump is just as bad though.
I was under the ADHD Pyschitrist August 19-March 20; She discharged me after the lockdown started but I said then i was struggling and my meds just arent doing it now, but were before, and she explained that cortisol and adrenerline will cause me to burn through it all quicker, I feel after a couple of hours I am on my own now, I think they are meant to last 6 hours min. There was no mention of that on my discharge letter, that my gp insisted I chase because I couldnt get my meds from him, no one told me why until i called after going to collect them from the chemist to ask why they were not there.
I have a pain pyschologist, they cant prescribe medication, but she works under a team so can get help when i need stronger medications for that and she checked in today, and we over ran cos I was such a state. Sessions are a big iffy atm as shes been doing virtual clinics for other sufferers, so I didnt have a session last week, did today, do next week, but time has changed, and the week after not again. Changes aren't helping but she cant help that.
But I only actively have support for the pain side now. I would be up for trying Better help though.
Hi Aimee! I just realized I typed this big ol' reply on my phone and the gosh darn thing didn't post... so.. Here I go again!
First, I am so glad you posted your story here! You my dear are resilient!
You are doing a wonderful job advocating for your health! It may not feel like it but.. You're still saying "Hey! I'm struggling!" and I know I have not been the best at that but want to let you know that.. yes, there are good doctors out there, even I found one lol! I will share that I have dealt with similar myself and-- Well I finally just got angry.. so.. Yeah that probably wasn't the best way to go about it looking back on it but when I say angry I mean I tapped into my stubborn streak and said "All Y'all... Need to get listen to me!" But before that I was in your same spot-- it sounds like-- I am from the good old Midwest where "rub some dirt on it" is the cure for all things and "We just don't talk about it-- Because God knows.. blah blah" So.. I was tested for ADHD 5... Yes... 5! times just to "make sure" I have horror stories of things uneducated healthcare personnel have said etc... The worst was the stigma- for me at least... So I share that because YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Promise! Keep advocating, Keep saying yes this works no this doesn't work and remember THEY WORK FOR YOU or that's how I look at it!
Oh.. Sorry about the passwords... UGH =( I feel for you dear!
Do you have any music that puts you in a good mood? or a SONG that is your "GO TO HAPPY" song? I like Kesha... and I think you'd appreciate her Rainbow album based off the day you say you are having lol LMK what you think!
Thank you, feeling a little better now, but I think everything is getting on top of me.
That must be so hard, Stigma here isn't great. But more people are speaking out, and various celebs talking about it has seen an improvement. But it is still tough. I would hate having to be re assessed 5 times for 1 condition, I was only diagnosed august last year with ADHD, at 25. It was like for some things the penny dropped and it made sense. But hasn't made things at home better, but thats a whole different issue.
As a teen, the only time I would get listened to was if I ended up in A&E (the
ER), a friend has been regularly in to her local, and just gets patched up, referred elsewhere and sent home, in less than 24 hours. She says the place that has referred her are useless, but I cant comment there. So anything I can do to keep myself out of a&e, I will.
Music sometimes helps, but my brother is working from home and dyring work hours I cant even vacuum, so since its now after 5pm, I can put some on and see if it helps, I will check in later and update you.
Re music: headphones?
I 'm just getting started on looking for help with my ADHD, and also changing to a new primary care provider at the same time, and today went badly. My old PCP is unfortunately not available any more, she has moved -- first I moved but it was still a do-able distance, now she moved as far in the other direction and it's just not do-able. Saw a new PCP today and, long story short, NO thank you! If she doesn't have untreated ADHD herself, then I don't know what's wrong with her. Bouncing off the walls, interrupting, talking a mile a minute, asking the same questions over and over, took my BP even though the nurse already did that, etc.
I said I have ADHD and one of the reasons I chose this practice is because they have a mental health department as well, and she said I don't need to see the psychiatric nurse practitioner because she can prescribe for me herself, but wants me to know that she will NOT prescribe stimulants ... which, you know, I didn't ask her to. If I talk about that with anyone, it will be the psych provider. And I'm probably not going to start with stimulants, either, not first choice, because based on my history I don't think I will do well on them. But I'm just beginning to try to get help, and I'm keeping my mind open, and if my primary care provider's mind is closed, then we're going to have issues later.
So I'm really proud of myself, actually. After accepting her wanting to change half my other meds, even though both my rheumatologist (I have osteo) and my old PCP have agreed about them for years, and making a follow-up appointment with her, I called back and asked to be scheduled with someone else instead. I didn't ruminate for days, I didn't worry and blow it up into I'M SCREWED I'LL NEVER GET HELP, there's no hope!, all the really good doctors are out of my insurance network! And I didn't just stuff it and decide to put up with her as PCP and keep my psych treatment totally separate, or at least defer the fight to another day. Which is what would be normal behavior for me! And it would be bad, because the primary care provider is supposed to be the one who has the big picture and makes sure my care is coordinated.
No. I already knew that finding the right provider is trial and error. This is just one down, there are more options. It'll be OK.
tl;dr 
oh, and I also pat myself on the back for not forgetting to call the pharmacy and tell them to put the med changes on hold until I see the next new person. *sigh*
I need new headphones, I have in ear ones, but ive made my ears so sore and actually cut somehow with them i cant use them now. Which was meant to be this months purchase, some noise cancelling ones, so I can block out the craziness in the house. but my phone charger completely died this morning, its not even the lead. So stupid amount of money later I have a new one.
You have done really well there! I cant change my GP practice as I have haemophillia and they are the only place that has a dr (previously a surgeon) who is experienced with it and actually knows about it and when i am 1 of 4 in the UK wih it (well the type is not seen in women normally, all of the 4 are, and are my family, and are white, which is another thing, the type hadnt been found in caucassian persons before). So am a bit stuck there, but id just like a local dentist to be honest, I have to go into London because no one will treat me locally. I already go out my area for my pain management, they do not offer it in mine.
its so frustrating when you want to help yourself, but cant get it.
I wouldn't want anyone so closed minded treating me. I bet I'd be told I have been diagnosed wrongly if I tried to keep it up. My gp is in a sulk because one medication I have been told i can take it up to x amount, and if i dont want it every day i dont have to, or even for months then do and I was sooo excited about the amount of control I was being given.
I do the same cycle as you though! you sorted out your pharmacy, and I actually went from the car, into the chemist to pick my meds up today. On my own. Mum was in the car though. My only victory today, well yesterday technically now for me.
Any reason you are think stimulants aren't the best choice? I know my mum was worried as I am impulsive, and have a history with being imulsive with medications, but after being explained how the one I have is to stimulate the part of my brain that doesn't work to do its job, I thought I'll try. I like that i was explained how the medication suggested worked though and could still decide if i was happy to try it. I mean ofc one box doesnt fit all, and no two people are the same but I have had a really positive experience with them. I could be an outlier though. I have combined ADHD and the first drug i tried was one and was working before covid. (flipping covid) and normally nothing works first time with me. Either way I hope it isnt a long wait to be seen! And you get a better doctor
I did try stimulants before, and I think my system is just too sensitive to them. Last time a low dose gave me heart palpitations. On the other hand, I have tried giving up coffee before, a couple of years ago I gave it up for Lent (long enough to get past any withdrawal), and I totally could not function without it. So I just think my one daily pint of strong black coffee is probably the right dosage of stimulant for me.
I spoke too soon about not ruminating. 
Now I seem to remember reading that that's how it works a lot of times with ADHD, a delayed reaction. This makes two nights in a row when I have not slept enough. I manage all right with getting to sleep in the first place, with a whole routine, but when I wake up in the middle of the night or way too early in the morning, it's much harder to get back to sleep. And hot flashes! Ugh.
My sleep is horrendous, I was ok before lockdown, I had a medication to help, but lockdown has messed that up and it hasn't returned, one bonus with ADHD I seem able to function still without sleep. HA! just not well. I dont know if theres aything over the counter you could try to help?
ADDitude, is a great resource for ADHD. Its US based but its getting recomended over here, across the pond. So may be worth looking, it does bits on medications, relationships stuff for schools (for kids) it has a magazine as well and many free webinars, and you can watch past webinars from experts in the field. I was watching an amazing one last month, Dr Russell Barkley was the specialist and I was tidying up as I listened but I was pulled back to watch and see the slides. ADDitude may be worth having a look 
happyhermit Aimee_H --
I just wanted to say... This is the most fun and supportive thread I have had since being with this support group and I really really appreciate you both!
I am still new to Health Unlocked, and was linked up to it via a hospital I am under, so I am hoping to use it more. and posting here has lifted my mood a little, I feel less on the edge of defeated and a little more like i can keep swimming - thank you for being part of that and happyhermit thank you as well
Hi Guys,
So I am ending a very long but great day, doing the last of the clean up after the neighbors left from dinner. I have noticed that having a day during the week where we all always get together is one of the best things I could have done for my mental health. As we all do, I have been on a long road to get to this happy place so.. I think that's why I wanted to see about reaching out to others and "give back" in a way.... Participating in a group style therapy was one of my most impactful addition in my journey, I think it is knowing you aren't alone. Before social distancing I would go to weekly group as part of my mental health maintenance- its through a local hospital mental health group that I have been blessed to have been working with since 2017 but I think it was more of a routine establishing activity than anything else-- at least right up until April-ish. I haven't found the online chat boards to be all that useful.. well until today- It is nice to actually be conversing with each other instead of just reading posts that ask questions that are more meant for doctors-- At least that is what I have came across-- So, once again thanks guys!
How did you handle doubt about diagnosis?
How would you suggest supporting an adult son with ADHD?
How do you cope with excessive thinking? - From an ADHD-er
How do you stay productive and diciplined when dealing with ADHD?
