WHEN NO ONE UNDERSTANDS A SCHEDULE IS MEANT TO BE KEPT

[AEppinette]

Today did not start off well. I did not get up at my usual time because I was kept up most of the night by my dogs. Fine, whatever. I am a dog mom, I can deal. I wake up cranky and upset with myself for reasons out of my control, but that does stop the thought process of failure for not waking up on time. Regardless, I trudge on through my morning routine with somewhat ease and start my day.

I need to get my resume updated and redone. That's all the goal is today-resume. When it comes to looking for jobs I have to allow myself plenty of time, because I get so frustrated. I do everything I am "supposed" to do when looking/applying for a job and yet I don't have one?

All the while I am battling my anxiety and frustration my mom keeps coming into my room and interrupting my workflow. I can't get into the right headspace for my resume. First, it was to help vacuum, then it was to look at the dog's paw, then she came in to tell me that we need to get the house from out back and bring it around to the front of the house to wash off the patio... All this within an hour. Leave me ALONE!!

Needless to say, I have nothing done on my resume and feel extremely defeated. I want to yell at my mother but I am trying not to do that. She needs help because she has balance issues due to her stroke. Yet, at the same time, she says not to worry about her and to get on with my life and move out..... I get mixed signals from my family which doesn't help with my anxiety and frustration. My family is the biggest block to bettering my life.

[HadEnuf]

Peculiar how the very world around us seems to have even worse ADHD than we do, isn't it?

Sorry to read that's causing you to suffer.

[AEppinette in reply to HadEnuf]

It can be so easy for people to forget that certain tasks are harder for people with ADD/ADHD. It has been harder to keep up a schedule with COVID and everything changing. I have needed to change my mind set that this is the new normal. Transition has not been easy, but it is a part of life. I think most of all, I am tired of the back and forth we are getting from the government and businesses on whether we are going back or not and what the regulations will be for the future, blah, blah, blah...

[HadEnuf in reply to AEppinette]

People forget to leave even enough room even for a neurotypical brain to keep on track! The “urgency culture” we've developed in the Western world (especially the US) truly does give society around us worse ADHD than we'll ever have—without even the benefit of “compatible wiring” that we find among our own “tribe”!

And if we had skipped the waffling, not politicized wearing masks, and had gone directly to don't so for the same reason surgeons wear them and people in general wear condoms—that is, to protect OTHERS—we probably WOULD all be back to work, already: government in the US has been exceptionally effective at undermining those to whom it panders, this time around.

[AEppinette in reply to HadEnuf]

The US definitely has the mindset of Time=Money.

At the end of the day I just need a little help from my family. I did talk to my mom about the constant interruptions and we came up with a plan that benefits both of us and the family as a whole. I don't think she realized how seriously I was taking the whole schedule thing until I talked to her about it. But something needed to change for my sanity's sake. 😅

She needs help around the house, so we decided to set aside a block of time to get some house work done each day. My mom will text me if she needs something from the store or update me on an issue. Texting is less distracting than opening the door and talking to me and I don't have to answer a text message immediately. Reestablishing boundaries was key.

[lost2bfound in reply to AEppinette]

You sound so much calmer today. Sometimes we are so frustrated we can't think straight. I am glad your mom was able to listen and want to make things better for both of you. I think if MrsKico's suggestion of help with your resume is excellent. About all the stuff going on in the country right now. Try to remember God is still in control and just go with the flow. I'm sure its scary needing to find a job in the current environment. I will be praying that will happen very soon and it will be the best job for you.

[AEppinette in reply to lost2bfound]

Definitely the case. Thankfully I had an appointment that day with my therapist and that also helped me calm down.

Sometimes I can be in a downward spiral of anxiety and emotion. I can tell when it is about to happen, but sometimes I can't help it. The whole situation was a good way to open up the conversation about what I need. I can be very introverted and not express myself until the emotions perculate over.

[HadEnuf in reply to AEppinette]

Glad you found a direction toward a solution.

The “time is money” notion has a sister fallacy even more pervasive: “Motion is progress.” Of course, I have learned to avoid ADHD disasters by not “going off half cocked”, leading to more than one conflict when others mistake deliberate reserve for a lacking sense of urgency. I am continually surprised at how many people are utterly unaware that haste can—and does—blow up in their faces (like the metaphoric firearm I mentioned a moment ago).

I think your approach does rather a nice job of defusing that. [With which just jumped from modern actions to a matchlock! (*shakes head*)]

[acrononymous in reply to HadEnuf]

I have to agree with you! The sad truth seems to be that others are more concerned with their rights than of those around them. I don’t care for wearing the mask but I do because it is the right thing to do.

And I will add that if people are sick, even with just a cold, they should stay home instead of spreading and we all know that doesn’t happen.

And wash hands.

If we did what we should do in the first place we wouldn’t have such a problem.

[MrsKlco]

My my my...you have got to handle your stress and set reasonable limits with your mom and others.

Try reaching out for help with your resume. Not to say that you aren't smart enough to do it, just that it can be frustrating to fast. Another person would have no emotional uggg, maybe a different view on your talents too, ect.

When my ADHD symptoms are out of wack... I now know I have to look at myself and why I am frustrated and impatient. HELLO, I have two crazy boys and an undermotivated hubby. This can get waaaaayyy out of control because my mind does not care that he is not willing to do all the amazing things, THAT ARE ENDLESSLY PLAYING OVER AND OVER--- hummm to improve/repair the house, yard, ....oooo and move the stair well to the basement!! Don't ask...it's in my way! ( ok not correcting the run on sentence)

Medicate, Mindfulness, set boundaries, etc.

I sure hope this helps...in the end you are not alone.

Keep writing.

Renee

[AEppinette in reply to MrsKlco]

I have anxiety. Some days are better than others.

My friends help always me out with my resume. I send them my resume to review everytime I change it. It helps to get a different perspective.

Most of the time I know why I am frustrated. Time and space to calm my thoughts is what I need, but a lot of time I get interrupted by some distraction. It is part of the reason why I have been focusing more on my triggers and recognizing them quicker before I lose it.

[acrononymous in reply to AEppinette]

You definitely should talk to your mom. Maybe she can make a list of things she would like you to do for when you take a break from your scheduled time.

It IS important that you have respect for your schedule. Maybe ask her to treat that time as if you are at work. Explain that if you don’t get the uninterrupted time you need that you’ll never get your resume ready.

B

[MrsKlco]

Sounds like you are trying. I did not want you to feel that I was attacking. I know how difficult and painful anxiety is.

[AEppinette in reply to MrsKlco]

Nah, youre good.