ADHD and Anger

[Phoenix_Bird]

Hello,

This is my first time posting. I'm a European where ADHD awareness is severely lacking and so are the resources for coping. I've been doing a lot of self development work with a coach from North America - however an issue that I've been avoiding to tackle was my anger and explosivity. It is something that happens suddenly and ruins my opportunities and relationships. Two days ago it got me fired from an amazing job. I realized I have to finally face this. My anger issues. There is no option to medicate my ADHD with stimulants as they're illegal in most of European countries. I've been trying meditation and mindfulness for 8 months, but it didn't really help for this. This has been happening for years now, ever since I graduated college. In school I was very agreeable so I have no idea why this explosive way of expressing anger started manifesting in my professional life and killing any opportunity of a career. I need serious help but can't afford therapy because I don't have a steady income. Does anyone have any advice or tips on how I should proceed and what my options are? Thank you in advance,

Phoenix

[MrsKlco]

Hello Phoenix Bird,

I don't know what kind of carrier you are in....but for me, I know that I function differently at work then my co-workers. I have had many times of frustration/anger because others are doing there work much faster than I am, etc. After 3 years, I emailed HR and let them know of my diagnosis and they have helped, with amazing enthusiasm (very frick'n rare), to support me with anything I need.

I have been diagnosed with ADHD, but it did not specify get diagnosed with dyslexia, an evil thing on its own level. Even with that I was able to get support for typing, spelling, etc..

At the end of the day, is the frustration with yourself or others? There are somethings you have to have "radical acceptance" with.

I work with people with ADD/ADHD AND substance addiction. Can be very volatile! I try to explain that many times we take longer or think in different directions than the norm. That is totally OK, as long as your confident in that OK'ness.

Many times there are true benefits to the way your mind works with out medication. So this job loss may be just the kick in the ass you need to find a carrier that suits your full potential

Final word...when I am super frustrated I imagine that my children or my 5 year old self is in the back of the room looking at me. What is my response, how do I handle the situation that will allow them to feel comfortable and proud of me.

I hope this helps, keep posting!!

Renee

[Mike1988 in reply to MrsKlco]

Yes it does.. Very helpful. Thank you Renee

[Phoenix_Bird in reply to MrsKlco]

Thank you so much Renee ❤️

[Cupressaceae]

You say you can't afford therapy, but my suggestion is to do some research to find a trauma therapist who can help you deal with the ways in which ADHD has shaped your life experience, since that is likely feeding into your explosive anger. Can you really afford not to go to therapy if you're losing jobs and friendships over this issue?

You could try the self-help route to start, since it will be less expensive, but it may be harder to stick with it than if you have the guidance and support of a good therapist. Have you read 'The Body Keeps The Score' by Bessel van der Kolk? There may be an audio book version if reading isn't your thing.

[Phoenix_Bird in reply to Cupressaceae]

Thank you, I think you're right when it comes to trauma. I've heard about the book as being a great resource. I did purchase it and will try to go over it with a professional if I find one. I'll try looking for a sliding scale trauma therapist.

[Cupressaceae in reply to Phoenix_Bird]

Trauma complicates our lives in so many ways, since we developed coping mechanisms to survive that probably are now getting in the way. I hope the book will help you recognize a path of therapy that might work for you, and that you're able to find someone who will work with you.

[Johela]

Hello Phoenix_Bird

To me one of the obvious symptoms of depression is anger and I take St John's Wart to calm myself; works wonders for me.

[AEppinette]

add.org/adda-virtual-programs/

psychiatry.org/psychiatrist...

Take a look at these websites. I think it would be a great start for you and your ADHD journey. Also, be careful about hidden costs (they aren't much) but they can sneak up on you.

[Phoenix_Bird in reply to AEppinette]

Thank you 🙂😊