Stuck in a maze

[Simply_Blue]

Hi everyone, I’m from the uk. I would like to know what can I do to help my ADHD because I can’t afford the treatments nor coaching and it’s left me feeling stuck in a maze. Anyone got helpful ideas as to what I can do?

[quietlylost]

I think it depends on what your specific challenges or symptoms are. In general, doing things like checking out books from the library, using online forums like this or HowToADHD, listening to podcasts, or the HowToADHD Youtube channel.

[Simply_Blue in reply to quietlylost]

Thank you very much for taking the time out to reply to my message and ok I will. Thank you, are there any books or podcasts you can recommend?

[quietlylost in reply to Simply_Blue]

For books, "Driven to Distraction" is a good starter one, as is "Delivered from Distraction." You can probably go a library and look for ADHD workbooks and may find some.

For podcasts, "ADHD reWired" and "ADHD Essentials." You can also check out the ADDitude Podcasts and the archives there; these are of past webinars which are free and you can attend online. Lots of good information in all those.

[Simply_Blue in reply to quietlylost]

Ok thank you very much for your help. Much appreciated

[quietlylost in reply to Simply_Blue]

Of course! Feel free to message if you have other questions.

[Simply_Blue in reply to quietlylost]

Have you any strategies to help with reading one book from beginning to end?

[quietlylost in reply to Simply_Blue]

I'd actually suggest breaking it up and being patient with yourself. Reading with ADHD can be really hard. Maybe there's a time of day when you're more focused like in the morning when you wake up, after coffee, or after you've had some exercise. Maybe you are someone who can read while eating a meal. Mostly, though, I'd say break it up into chunks. Focus on maybe a chapter at a time. Or, just a page or two. With the two books I mentioned they're ADHD friendly as the author has ADHD himself. In "Delivered from Distraction" he even points out that there's one chapter to read if you don't read any of the others.

I find that I struggle with reading most in the evenings after medicines wear off. I do better by reading in quiet in the afternoon, either at home or at work. Sometimes I read before my therapy appointment as I'm stuck there waiting and it helps me pass the time. Those are the things that work most for me.

[Joanna197]

You guys don't have healthcare?

[Simply_Blue in reply to Joanna197]

We have healthcare but adult adhd is only treated by private psychiatrists who i find expensive at this point in time.

[Gr8Nica in reply to Simply_Blue]

You should be able to access Adult ADHD on NHS but it will depend on where you live to know how easy and long it will take.

Also try joining a support group. You can find them here: ukadhd.com/support-groups.htm

Hopefully there is one available near where you are.

[Simply_Blue in reply to Gr8Nica]

Oh great, I didn’t know that. Thank you for sharing this with me

[Maker61 in reply to Simply_Blue]

Books are great - but you really need medical support. ADHD isn’t a self-help condition. Yes, support groups are helpful but it’s not treatment.

[InThaFlow]

Simply_Blue First of all, welcome! I def can relate to your situation since I’m in similar circumstances. Until you can get professional help and even once you have it there are some things that you can do on your own. (I’m sure other members of the community can make suggestions but I’ll toss the ball out to get things rolling).

1) Start your day with some vigorous exercise, appropriate to your level of fitness of course - It really helps and doing it regularly contributes to a sense of calm, focus and well being in addition to expending energy

2) If you haven’t already, eliminated sugary and processed foods from your diet as much as possible - We could go deeper into this and again others will have specific suggestions but the simpler and cleaner your diet the better for us ADHD types.

3)Create a schedule/structure, stick to it and allow time in it just for YOU; create little rituals/habits and try to stick to them. Start small and gradually add. Don’t take it all in at once.

4) keeping lists helps a lot of us, beginning with things you are grateful for but also lists of things you want to accomplish; major goals as well as day to day things like “remember to call (significant other ) during lunch break”

5) reading, listening to recordings and YouTube also helps to feed your mind and gives helpful information that can be motivating and insightful

6) participate in support groups like this! (YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!) It really does help to know you’re not alone

OTHER THOUGHTS GUYS?

[Simply_Blue in reply to InThaFlow]

Hi, thank you for your comment. Great advice but i find a self imposed schedule literally impossible, for me to follow one successfully my actions need to be in accordance with what I have planned and the slightest thing I do which is out of place makes my tower come crashing down and to not do something out of place feels nigh impossible in itself, maybe a life coach could help with this?

[rach1402]

As far as I know, ADHD medication is available throughout the UK. I was referred to the psychiatric team at adult mental health services by my GP in November 2016. Despite being told there was a long waiting list, I got an appointment with a consultant adult psychiatrist 2 months later and was assessed, diagnosed and prescribed medication, all in the first appointment. My psychiatrist keeps my GP updated and my GP prescribes the medication as directed by my psychiatrist every month. As I live in Wales I get free prescriptions but if you live elsewhere in the UK I think you can pay a fixed amount per month for all your prescriptions combined, so that works out cheaper if you have several different medications. I know there's some stigma attached to adhd medication, but the fact of the matter is that it's the most effective treatment and safer than many other medications that people take more commonly. There's nothing wrong with applying self help strategies, but since taking the meds I've realised there's no question that trying to apply yourself with impaired brain function is like pissing into the wind compared to learning new skills, planning and carrying out tasks and self regulating, amongst other things, when your brain is doing what it's supposed to do. It's not a case of popping a pill and all your problems are solved, but we at least stand a chance of doing the things that others take for granted when we've got the right balance of neurotransmitter chemicals and our brains can do their job properly x

[Simply_Blue in reply to rach1402]

Can you give me some examples of how being on medication has helped you please?

[rach1402 in reply to Simply_Blue]

The main thing is that I can now regulate my emotions so much better than before. I had no self control and would cry uncontrollably for hours over things that most people thought were trivial, to the point where I would have to go home from work. Sometimes I would have laughing fits at inappropriate times, I had to get sent out of class when I was about 14 because one girl in my German class asked the teacher what the German is for electric eel when we were learning about animals and pets. Even though I felt stupid and was embarrassed about being so immature the teacher had to send me to stand in the corridor, I still couldn't stop laughing and everyone thought I was being insolent and disrespectful. I couldn't keep still and quiet as well as paying attention in meetings and presentations etc. I would either fidget or distract people next to me, so it took all the self control I had to keep quiet and still which meant I had nothing left to actually enable me to listen to what was being said by the person holding the meeting or presentation. I now have a filter, which I never had in all my 36 years of life before that. I used to have to go and sit in my car when a 2 minutes silence was being observed in honour of fallen soldiers because I couldn't keep track of time so I didn't know when it was 11 o'clock unless someone told me exactly when to stop what I was doing and be quiet. My boss used to tell me 2 hours before, so I would have plenty of notice but she didn't understand that I couldn't just keep that in mind and remember it at the right time. I was so worried about offending people, I'm not an insensitive person, the last thing I wanted to do was upset anyone, but I couldn't trust myself to be quiet so I removed myself from the situation completely. That was one of the worst things for me, the anxiety I suffered from knowing I would put my foot in it at some point but not knowing when or how, has had a lasting effect. Even now I have a filter I sometimes get anxious in social situations because I've grown up with that feeling, as well as a feeling of guilt that I brought all my troubles upon myself because I was branded a difficult child. Taking medication now I'm an adult is like wearing a pair of glasses. It allows me to do what I need to do when I use it but it's never going to help me develop normal brain function, like it can for my recently diagnosed 11 year old daughter. She takes Concerta XL, which has helps her get on better with people and stay focused on her work at school. It didn't suit me as it made me too hypervigilant to the point that I was permanently paranoid about putting my foot in it, to the extent that I didn't want to do or say anything for fear of getting it wrong. Now I take elvanse and that works much better for me, although I wish my psychiatrist would prescribe a higher dose because I feel there is room for improvement. You really have to know your stuff and be prepared to challenge your psychiatrist's old fashioned ideas if they were trained to diagnose and treat mental illness as opposed to neurological disorders, which is certainly the case with mine, unfortunately. You might have to try a few different things before you find the best medication for you, but it is a game changer if you do x

[Simply_Blue in reply to rach1402]

it’s a relief knowing that there are people out there who knows what it’s like growing up/having adhd from young. Thank you for sharing your experience with me and your success. From all that’s been said it seems like medication is the best way to arrive at a silver lining and everything else is additional help not a means to recovery by itself.

[78rpm]

Another thing that might be able to help to some degree and doesn't cost anything is to do a Google search for any specific challenges that you might be going through.

You can try doing the Google search with "ADHD" included in the search, but try it without reference to ADHD as well.

A great many of the things that we find challenging are also challenging to many people without ADHD.

For example, organizing, housekeeping, dealing with information overload, dealing with overwhelm at work, time management, procrastination, ruminating, dealing with distractions, You will find all sorts of articles, blog postings, videos and podcasts that provide advice and tactics on dealing with such things.

Someone with ADHD is likely to struggle in more of these areas than someone without. And someone with ADHD might have a harder time managing such issues than someone without. But we aren't the only people who struggle with executive functions. Even those who are nerotypical are going to be stronger in some areas of executive functioning than others.

Of course, the tips and advice that intended for a wider audience may or may not be ADHD friendly. But that's true as well for tips written specifically for an ADHD audience. Everybody's ADHD manifests itself differently - so a tip that might work well for you might not for me. Thus, as with anything, you will have to evaluate any such advice and see if it is a fit for you.

I have found plenty of helpful tips though such Google searches. And sometimes the root of an ADHD person's problem might not be ADHD - but being ADHD can make the problem worse.

For example, rumination and excessive rehearsing conversations in one's head can be the result of anxiety, a desire to feel in control by "thinking one's way out" of a problem, or overthinking. These are all things that plenty of non-ADHD struggle with as well. But those with ADHD are more likely to struggle with such things or experience them more intensely.

Understanding the "why" behind such behaviors makes it easier for an ADHD person to identify the circumstances that might trigger it in them and thus makes it easier for them to figure out hacks on how to more effectively respond.

[Simply_Blue]

Is their anyway to get through this without medication? Has anyone got any success stories that doesn’t involve the use of meds that they are interested in sharing?

(I totally have nothing against medication, genuinely want to know what the options are to better guide my decisions)

Thank you