Having the rug pulled out from under me

[kanundrum]

I have been receiving treatment via adderall and /or therapy for adhd at timesk simultaneously at times one or the other. I have a long history of hyperactivity , losing things, scattered brain, I cant seem to filter my thoughts or conversations around me . I have forever been the queen of procrastination and when I do start things I cannot finish them .this is just a brief summary of symptoms I have lived with as long as I can remember there are more but that would take all day .when I had no insurance or treatment in the past I had trouble keeping jobs finishing projects etc . I think I spent yrs with the wrong treatments being pGuinea pigged on antidepressant after antidepressant and mood stabilizers including lithium and neurontin both made me feel like a zombie. Serotonin reuptake meds havent worked for years , but I was forced to take them again to receive my therapy . They had deemed me unreceptive to therapy but refused to prescribe adderall which had worked for8 years or more I cant remember exactly how long they decided on pristiq because i had just started a part time job after years of no treatment and told them every psychotropic med I had been on since a child and how the side effects debilitated me made it impossible to work caused loss of balance, drowsiness, vertigo, constant nausea, loss of depth perception . They didnt care I tried for months then stopped taking it found a dr that was willing to prescribe me adderall but a a lower dose than I had been on still it helped within a month I was allowed back into therapy I had to pretend I was taking the antidepressant for them to give me the closest thing they had to cognitive behavioral therapy- mindfulness based . Then just when I got her to give me practical work and goal related exercises she quit I was bounced around from therapist to therapist one I never even got to meet one I saw once just enough time for her to tell me she was leaving . Then I lost my insurance I couldnt afford the therapy I researched cbt resources was overwhelmed finally found a book that seems to help and 2 2wks ago my dr made an across the board decision to discontinue prescribing adderall to all patients and refer them - me back to the place that had not helped me before . My anxiety level has become unbearable idk where to start I love my dr but I have gotten a protion and 2 raises since on adderall. I am a supervisor somrthing I never thought I would be capable of and a month ago received a stellar review with my second raise . I fear I will lose everything I accomplished especially stopping abruptly on a medication that has obviously worked for me I lost my insurance and any assistance I had received I am a single mother and think I am going to lose everything if taken off a medication referred without proper paperwork to a place with a 3 to 6 month waiting list .I feel it was unprofessional, possibly against the hippocratic oath to do it without reasonable warning directed to a place I cant afford without insurance that has a minimum 3 month waiting list told over the phone 2 weeks before my next appt. Cut off abruptly when I mentioned the waiting list and their aversion to prescribing anything but antidepressants for every issue . I felt like the floor dropped out from beneath me every bit of hopelessness and helplessness came flooding back my head felt likely to explode my jaw dropped I couldnt stated my side was cut off and simply told I could come for my other medications aug 7 then click I cried , screamed, threw things had to go to work in less than an hour had a double the next day, and the rest of weekend thru monday . I have gotten no closer to find a new dr really do dont want to I like my dr but I cant afford 2 drs without insurance I have procrastinated the entire time have hysterical fits obsess incessantly but feel a need to talk to him personally though I doubt he will make an exception for one patient I feel lost

[Flygirl123]

I would call him and explain in the way you wrote this post. If you don't feel comfortable with that, write him a letter.