Hi everyone not sure how this works, but i have to do something. i fill so alone. I am 54 years old and have been struggling with ADD all my life. I have been educating myself on ADD/ADHD for some time now. Back when I was growing up there was no "label" or understanding of this disorder, so I went untreated. I grew up thinking I was dumb,slow or stupid. What it would take other kids 20 minutes to do it would take me and hour or more. It seemed like the harder I tried to retain something the more I would forget the very thing I just reviewed. This would only frustrate me even more. Although in some ways I was above average in commonsense and hands on things ,there was a part of me that felt smart. I was hungry for knowledge and was interested in everything. I could not harness or arbitrarily regurgitate what I just experienced, but a part of me felt as though I was more knowledgeable on the subject. I felt it was buried deep in my brain.
As a result, I learned how to compensate and cover up my short comings. Because i was quick witted, articulate and not bad on the eye, I could fool the best of them. However, as I have gotten older I can see just how devastating this disorder has affected my life. It is reflective in all facet of my life, from money to relationships. It seems to be getting harder to function as I get older.
I keep thinking if i could just get organized my life would be so much better, but as you all know that is one the biggest challenges. Not only is my external life unorganized but so is my thoughts.
It is my hope that i can find like minded people who struggle and feel like me. that's why i joined this blog. As you can tell there is so much more to my story but cant organize it to tell it. HELP!
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I feel all those things you said 100%. And yes there is so much more. I feel like I’m spending my whole adult life trying to work on myself, get better, understand. After 15 years of trying to succeed on my own I realized last year I can’t go on like this and i luckily I found a therapist who I was comfortable talking to and she has been a huge help in gently guiding me to better understanding stuff about me like seeing a psychiatrist. Now it’s been about six months seeing and following up with the psychiatrist who I absolutely think is amazing, now I have two people who understands, supports me. I’ve become very isolated/ alone I believe because of my struggles.
You’re on the right track by coming on here and speaking it’s important and if you don’t have anyone in your life giving you support and guidance please make it a priority to find help. Having support, help, guidance, accountability all of this and more will help you make progress in getting better.
As I read your post, I felt myself tearing up because I could have written every word you wrote except being 54 - I just turned 59 yesterday. I have learned to cover my " real life" so well that I never have friends over, although I want to, because I can't let anyone see how messy and disorganized my house is. I come across as someone who has it together but nothing could be further from the truth. I'm in the process of looking for a job and I have to always take into consideration how the training would be and could I learn it quick enough. I also have RA which is another roadblock because it limits what I can do physically.
I wish I had advice to offer you but unfortunately I'm in the same boat as you. And for me , I feel like that boat is sinking and everyday I struggle to stay above water.
Let's keep in touch. We certainly have a lot in common.
It is a good first step to reach out and ask for help. It takes guts, good job.
Are you seeing any sort of medical professional about your ADHD or taking medication for it? If not then making an appointment would be a good next step. There is a large variety of treatment options; medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or any combination of these are all viable options.
There are also a variety of things you can do on your own. You said you are already learning what you can about ADHD and that is good, knowledge is powerful. What’s better than knowledge is being able to put it to use. You can use what you know and what you will learn to develop strategies to help you with the tasks in front of you.
I have found that YouTube, a channel called “How To ADHD” especially, is a good source for this sort of very useful knowledge.
Best of luck! I hope you find the help you are looking for!
Hi & thanks for sharing. I'll be 55 this summer and took Ritalin as a child to help me cope. Since then, have not been on any meds. I never had much common sense, unlike you, but a great deal of energy and creativity which sometimes was a real problem for me relating to others. You asked a very pertinent question: how to cope with this situation. I wish there was an easy answer. You may want to try therapy and consider getting a proper prescription of meds. You should tap into that inborn "common sense" you mentioned above and brainstorm. Give yourself credit for things you do right, because I'm sure there are plenty. It's so easy to say: "Woah, I'm just a hot mess, so no hope." Wrong: there are remedies and coping mechanisms to deal with this. I HIGHLY recommend keeping a journal, noting what works as far as organization (which also is hard for me), relationships to others, and other areas which you identify as major weaknesses and blind spots. I wish you well in your journey and I can tell you it will be interesting. Take Care!
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