So. 4 months ago I was re-diagnosed as an adult with adhd. Originally I did what appears a lot of you have also done- I got myself hopeless over a stupid diagnosis. What’s silly is that I’ve obviouslt always had it and so have many of my ancestors. So why should a diagnosis change my outlook? It does not mean I’m doomed.
I’m in school currently trying to achieve a PhD. My wife is 7 months pregnant with our 3rd child. Stress is at an all time high in my household as I’m also the only income for the family. Throughout my life I’ve always struggled with self confidence issues- either I’m over confident or under confident and both of them are extremes.
So. Here’s the point where I realized I’m actually in control of who and what I am. I’m in control of my perceptions and in full control of my outlook. What we need out of the world is not to be eternally happy. Happiness comes and goes in every human and should be savored with it’s around. What we need is a sense of meaning and purpose. That can only happen when we give that purpose to ourselves.
8 months ago I found myself overweight for someone my height. I was 230 lbs, and I had realized I was no longer treating myself with respect because I felt I didn’t deserve it. But why? My dad died of cancer, I ruined my relationship with him a few months before I found out he had cander and I was spiraling into self doubt about decisions I’ve made in my life.
But that was all perspective. Fast forward 8 months. I’ve finally realized that I’m fully in control and responsible for giving myself a purpose. I’ve decided my purpose is to change the world. I’ve beeb getting out of bed each morning and putting on inspirational dance music (I can post some links here if there’s intrrest) and making my bed. I’ve lost over 60 lbs and recently was able to completely replace my wardrobe with clothes that make me feel happier with myself. The positive energy spreads to everyone around me, I can tell. All this just because I deciddd to give myself a purpose. As a result, my anxiety is largely gone for good. I no longer life myself trying to make everyone around me like me. I’m my own person, I’m mortal. I love myself and I owe it to myself and to the world to provide what I can do that when my time comes to become a part of the earth, I can feel that I helped the world become just a little better and rest peacefully without resentment or regret.
What we tell ourselves each morning when we get out of bed is going to be our reality. If we tell ourselves hopeless things and we aren’t being kind to ourselves, we can’t expect a good perspective. When the world sees us in a stAte of hopelessness, it’s not going to make it better, only you have the power to do that. I quickly realized that when I was walking around with my head down acting like I was a pile of crap, everyone around me amplified that feeling. However when I walk around with self confidence- standing upright with my shoulders kicked back and exposing my most vulnerable side; my heart, to the world, the universe amplifies my confidence and the people around me treat me like I have purpose and meaning.
I’m curious to know if you guys have ever gone through this process. I can’t see how someone could be continue day after day with feelings of misery when they know the world has given them a purpose.
I feel like my life has changed completely and IM the one who did it for myself, nobody else. The attached photo was taken last night. Finally proud of myself and the fact that I was able to drop 6 pant sizes and go from an extra large to a medium in 8 months. I haven’t even taken the tags off my new clothes yet.