ADHD at 50

[Spring-book]

Hi, I am new here.

I think I've been ADHD all my life but was only diagnosed last year. I thought the world operates with similar lens through which I see and feel life (I learned that's not the case).

I am 50 y.o. and started taking 10 mg adderall daily last year although doctor says I can increase to 20 mg (I am sticking with 10 mg). Initial phase of taking adderall made me very happy and sympathetic. Now the novelty wears off and I don't feel it so strongly anymore.

I have a graduate engineering degree (can be considered successful academically), love to read, high energy, happy but naturally has life's ups-n-downs.

I want to improve as a person and as a Dad. I've been know to be impatient and don't listen well. I wish to improve on these two traits so I can be a better dad (have one child entering teenage phase).

All matter-of-the-mind is foreign and abstract to me, so I am learning anew. Any suggestion on good books on the subject to better understand ADHD or psychology-pertaining-to-ADHD in general? Would always love to learn and to help if I can.

[Hidden]

Hi! I’ve found, at 60, that nutrition is key for me in battle with my ADD. Mostly eliminated added sugar and processed foods. Heck, even stopped drinking beer. Like you, use adderall. I use the least possible. And skip days when I’m just chilling. Life is wonderful now. Really a miracle

[therealwendywms]

Hi Spring-Book! Welcome to the club. I am about to turn 42 diagnosed a year after my only child was born, at 34. I didn't take it very seriously and just fizzled off treatment. Now, she's had to have a little something for focus in 4th grade (Since Aug 2017) so I've reclaimed my own diagnosis and treatment so I can better guide and teach her. I've not read any specific books but a website I find invaluable and have learned so much is... understood.org ... it's my "go-to" and second is additudemag.com. I think you will find alot of good information and guidance there.

I'd also say if the 10mg isn't keeping you as sharp as it once was...take it up! Look at it this way...If your blood pressure meds were not keeping your BP at a target rate you would pretty much do what it takes to get it right, correct? Just think of it the same way! I know it's difficult to think of ADHD-ADD as something like that but whatever keeps you being your best you, do it!

Now, with that being said....I've had this all my life as well and I like to think I'm pretty successful despite my shortcomings because of so many incorrect diagnoses and wrong meds....we who learn to manage our lives with this without meds because we've had to or choose to live by LISTS!! hahah Schedules and repetitions...It just seems to be something common I see among us all. Just work with self-discipline along with the medication enabling us to focus and concentrate better and you've got it. I wish you luck in your new journey!

[lil-rose]

Hello! I really like that you are reaching out about this and wanting to be a better person and dad. The very first book I read that helped me right away was "Boundaries" by Townsend and Cloud. It's not specific to add but wow it was an eye opener for me! I realized this was the "code" everyone else was living by that I didn't "get" and I wondered why I never learned this stuff! This is also a good book as a dad for the teen years (especially if you have a daughter) because it's something to pass on and teach children.

The authors have books specific to boundaries in marriage, children, etc but this book on boundaries in general is where to start. Next, "The 5 Love Languages" is good for connecting with others, and learning your child's love language is key to helping them feel connected and loved. There is a quiz on the website for that book that can get you started right away. Both of these books can be picked up at a second hand store for a couple of dollars if you are in the us I see multiple copies there often.

"The Feeling Good Handbook" is good for personal use and has charts and worksheets to work on at home to identify triggers and things. Again, it can be found at second hand stores or online even an old edition used copy is fine.

YouTube videos help in a relatively quick fashion too, I used YouTube for good info on narcissism, scapegoating, and personality disorders that helped me understand some patterns of unhealthy relationships. Sometimes people with ADHD are raised in families with unhealthy relationships or end up in unhealthy relationships themselves. These are things we don't want to pass on to our kids! With YouTube, if there are topics you like you can explore them further with books recommended by the YouTube people you tend to like.

Again, way to go for reaching out and seeking to better yourself and your family.

lil-rose