New to group 12 yr old son and 13 daughter

[Swimmerbunny38]

My daughter was diagnosed at age 3 with ADHD and age 9 with Autism Spectrum Disorder, though started receiving support as a toddler. My son has anxiety and was just diagnosed ADHD though symptoms for years. I have really struggled as a single mom through all of this. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the patience and other times I just cry. Lately, I’m feeling guilty always saying something negative toward my son, but he has a bad combo of curiosity and impulsivity.

[Shamasamdrew]

Hugs, mama. Parenting kids with the challenges you described is such a hard journey. You are not alone by the way and you will get a lot of support here.

I hope that in the real world, you are also getting support: from family, friends, counselors, doctors, and school professionals. Some communities have support groups for parents as well. Having a lot of people to help you really does help to lighten the load. Hang in there!

[RichSeitzOceanNJ]

Here are some things you can try at home. They take time and consistency but have been proven to work in numerous clinical studies. They are parts of the Pax Good Behavior Game for elementary schools that has been studied for over 30 years and shown to change teen and adult behavior from being used in elementary school.

1NIDA Notes. “Behavior Game Played in Primary Grades Reduces Later Drug-Related Problems.” Volume 23, Number 1, April 2010. National Institute on Drug Abuse.

drugabuse.gov/news-events/n...

Here are a few links to the Pax Tools for parents on YouTube:

Pax Tools intro

youtube.com/watch?v=t952q7_...(Not working as expected?)

Pax Breaks

youtu.be/0KgkB8LOgAg(Not working as expected?)

Working from home

youtube.com/watch?v=DYsx5FB...(Not working as expected?)

Good luck.

[Aspen797]

Our son also has ASD. The combination of ASD and ADHD traits can be really challenging at times! We had tremendous results with guanfacine. It really helped lessen the “fight or flight” (as another mom on here noted) and impulsivity for our son. He has become more relaxed, joking, less anxious and more willing. That, maturity, and positive parenting behavioral techniques have probably helped the most!

You might want to check out Tilt Parenting. It’s a book, podcast, and website. It’s much about “finding your tribe” with other parents and families like ours and becoming empowered. I found the 7-day challenge on the website extremely helpful when I was feeling ineffectual and discouraged. Please consider checking it out!

[lastdragon]

Hi, My son was just diagnosed yesterday and I can look back on some not so great reactions of my own through out the year but my human ways do out shine my super hero ones every now and then. I am determined to get my son the help he needs as well as myself because this isn't going to be an easy journey. As parents and being on forums like this one shows that we are not alone but it also shows that we have the best intentions towards these little precious people.

Take time for yourself and know that you are a superhero at heart. Hopefully we can support each other.

[MrsKlco]

Deeeeeeeeep breath, Swimmerbunny, being a parent is not easy. --If only our children were born with a toe tag. With all kinds of insight into how best to raise them. My oldest and youngest children have ADHD.

The good news, so do I! I can think back to my childhood and reflect how I needed my mother to respond to me when I was angry or forgetful, etc.

Bad news, at the time, my hubby didn't "believe" in ADHD! "He (my oldest when he was in 6th grade) is just undisciplined." Asssss if!!

Over the years, I have helped my hubby to see that being very consistent, diligent, and stern with rules, chores, and reactions helps tremendously!!

SO funny that I say that, because if it wasn't for him and his memory my boys would get away with everything. I can't remember who is in trouble, grounded, grounded from what, for how long, etc.

I am not the perfect parent/person, but the old way of dealing with children does not work.

Please keep asking questions, that is what we are there for!!

Renee